Trouble TTC

DH has agreed to stop drinking!!! (children mentioned...not mine)

*********Children Mentioned***************

 

So I have been feeling really overwhelmed the past few months. It has been so hard to concentrate on anything but IF. I even messed up on FOUR of my students grades for the Spring semester. I have NEVER made a mistake on grades in all my years of teaching. I had to give the Admissions and Records manager some kind of excuse because it was like everyday I was coming in there with a Grade Change form. She was totally understanding but I have been beating myself up lately.

So even though DH has been aware of his sperm issues since February he has continued to drink even though the urologist suggested that he stop. DH has really been in total denial about his sperm issues since he has older children (11 and 13 years old). DH is not an alcoholic but since I don't drink (no religious reasons, I really don't enjoy the taste and it's just a waste of calories to me if don't enjoy the taste) it seems like he drinks a lot to me. I understand he has a stressful job and really needs to wind down after work and he drinks when is smoozing with potential clients. So last night we had 'come to Jesus moment' I told him I don't want to be childless and that if wasn't willing to start taking this whole getting healthy to have a baby stuff serious then I was going to look into donor sperm. He looked so shocked. But since we started this journey I have lost 15 pounds and with PCOS that has not been easy, I feel like I am committed to getting healthier for our baby (even been drinking water, which I also hate the taste of as well). So he agreed to stop drinking all together, he was so shocked because he said you never said anything when I was drinking. I just looked at him with a blank stare and said we were both in the effing urologists office when he said TO STOP DRINKING. Really! I'm your wife not your mom you knew you were not supposed to be drinking and when you continued it felt like you were saying I'm not serious about being the biological father to this baby.

We have also decided to start seeing another RE. I sent a long letter complaining to the member services department of my HMO because I feel like we are receiving mediocre treatment with the RE I am currently seeing. I am no doctor, but I am a researcher by nature and I just don't agree with her protocol. I think the last straw was when she said 5.75 progesterone level after taking 100 mg of Clomid was a "great response"....really?! really?!

So I'm just so happy to get a fresh start and to have DH completely on board. Thanks for listening ladies.

 

P.S. I'm so glad he agreed, one of my bitchy friends suggested that I just use a sperm donor and not tell him. I was like and you wonder why you are single! Really?!

Me: +35 DH: +35
TTC: Since January 2013 
DX: PCOS. Severe Endometriosis, Unicornuate Uterus w/only left tube and left ovary, Pedunculated fibroid (on the outside of uterus) and Anovulation. All conditions diagnosed 8/13
TX: Metformin
DH DX: MFI - low morphology, low motility
Ultrasound shows both kidneys in spite of UU. 
HSG showed clear tube on the left side. 
Lap Surgery performed 1/9/14 to remove fibroid and endo (Stage 3)
  • IUI# 1 June 2014 started 100 mg of Clomid - 7dpiui Progesterone: 13: BFN
  • IUI#2  July 2014 started 100 mg of Clomid - 7dpiui Progesterone: 5.75: BFN
  • Natural Cycle - so shocked to be in 2WW - 7dpo Progesterone: 15.5: BFN
  • Working with new RE starting injectables in late August.
  • IUI #3 August 2014  w/ Menopur: BFN
  • Finally ovulating on my own!!
Waiting to start IVF hopefully
**********All Are Welcome**************
3T January Siggy Challenge: New Year's Resolution
image

 

Re: DH has agreed to stop drinking!!! (children mentioned...not mine)

  • I'm so glad to hear that you and your husband are now on the same page with regards to his drinking. It can be a difficult thing to quit, especially considering how many social activities revolve around drinking.  MH quit drinking 2 1/2 years ago by choice because he felt like he was losing control over his consumption.  It was a hard decision, but I think he is better for it.  

    I think it's important to make the decision on your own and for yourself.  While he has had the encouragement for his urologist and you, maybe finally hearing that you would go to a sperm donor really sank in with him.  Did the urologist say how long it would take to make an impact?

    I can't believe your friend told you to deceive your husband by going behind his back to get sperm!  Surely she was joking?  Either way, not cool at all.

    Good luck on finding a new RE.  Do you know who you might want to see?
  • Loading the player...
  • Our uro told my husband no more than 4 drinks per week. I feel like I am constantly monitoring him like I am his mom, because he likes to push it. He will drink 4 super strong drinks in one day or call a huge beer one drink. It makes me crazy and has caused a lot of fights! If I were him, I would stop drinking all together until we get a bfp but he doesn't think it's necessary. I did ask the uro if we would see additional benefits from him stopping completely, but he said no.

    I am glad your DH understands the seriousness of the situation now and is on the same page. Good luck!

    imageimage

    TTC #1 January 2009
    January 2010 SA results: Count 16 million, Motility 40%, Morphology 2%
    January 2010- Surprise BFP! DS born 10/1/2010 :)
    January 2013 TTC #2
    September 2013 Repeat SA: Count= 1.7 million, Motility= 24%, Morphology= 2%
    November 6th 1st Appointment with RE: diagnosed with severe MFI
    Testing to try to determine a cause & possible treatment for MFI
    CD 3 blood work for me. RE does not want to repeat my HSG/lap at this point,
    but may want to before moving forward with any fertility treatments.
    After seeing the uro, DH is currently taking lots of supplements and clomid to try to boost his count. We will have a repeat SA in February to see if it works.
    Follow up SA numbers are: Count= 4 million, Motility= 40%, Morphology= 1%
    Uro wants us to have another follow up SA 5/9 to see if we see further improvement than we are back to the RE to make a game plan.

    SA 5/9/2014 Count: 12 Million, Motility: 60%, and Morphology 2%. We will be doing iui #1 in late June

    IUI #1 6/28 clomid + ovidrel, post wash count 3 million total sperm= BFN

    IUI # 2 7/21 clomid+ ovidrel. post wash count 900,000 total sperm= BFN

    IVF planned for early November- cancelled due to cyst

    December IVF #1- 22 eggs, 20 mature,16 fertilized

    12/9 Transferred 1 4AA Blast, 6 frosties


    *****Everyone is welcome******

  • @TiffW2012 Urologist thinks that we should really see an improvement in about 3 months. He said if there is no improvement then he will start him on Clomid or Hcg shots. And NO my friend was not joking at all. I love her to death but she is really pill sometimes.

    So weird how some Uros think stop drinking will not improve MFI, thank goodness my DH's uro backed me up. I can only imagine what I fight it would have been without his support.

    As I have been shopping around for a new RE clinic there are certain clinics that will not even accept you as a patient if you or your partner is moderate drinker or a smoker.

    Me: +35 DH: +35
    TTC: Since January 2013 
    DX: PCOS. Severe Endometriosis, Unicornuate Uterus w/only left tube and left ovary, Pedunculated fibroid (on the outside of uterus) and Anovulation. All conditions diagnosed 8/13
    TX: Metformin
    DH DX: MFI - low morphology, low motility
    Ultrasound shows both kidneys in spite of UU. 
    HSG showed clear tube on the left side. 
    Lap Surgery performed 1/9/14 to remove fibroid and endo (Stage 3)
    • IUI# 1 June 2014 started 100 mg of Clomid - 7dpiui Progesterone: 13: BFN
    • IUI#2  July 2014 started 100 mg of Clomid - 7dpiui Progesterone: 5.75: BFN
    • Natural Cycle - so shocked to be in 2WW - 7dpo Progesterone: 15.5: BFN
    • Working with new RE starting injectables in late August.
    • IUI #3 August 2014  w/ Menopur: BFN
    • Finally ovulating on my own!!
    Waiting to start IVF hopefully
    **********All Are Welcome**************
    3T January Siggy Challenge: New Year's Resolution
    image

     
  • FX that in 3 months time there is a marked improvement.  Good luck in the process of finding a new RE!
  • Terrible advice from your 'friend'. Yay for your H not drinking!
    Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
    PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
  • BunnyBerryBunnyBerry member
    edited July 2014
    Congrats! That's wonderful news. Our uro told use that men live in a 51st state...the state of denial. Sounds like YH just unfortunately did need a bit of "mothering" to remind him the importance of getting healthy!

    I haven't thought of using the threat of DS yet, but I'll keep that one on standby....

    LOL to your single friend! 

    I was so surprised this afternoon. MH had chosen not to buy his usual sodas at the grocery store this week, and when I offered (twice) to get him a bottle of his fav local cherry soda, he got exasperated, "Didn't you see I have quit soda for several weeks now? Don't tempt me, I want to try these 3 months to really improve my sperm!" It was a thrilling sensation that he cared. :)

    ETA: Congrats on the weight loss! That cannot be easy. I hope it makes a great difference. :)
    January 3T Siggy Challenge - New Year's Resolutions
    image
    imageimage

    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
    IUIs #1.2, 2, 3 - Sept, Oct, Nov (Letrozole) - BFNs 
    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
    Planning to start IVF in March!
    ***All Welcome***
  • Great news!

    DH: 34  
    Aug 2013 - SA: Counts & Motility = great, Morph = 1%; RE didn't seem too concerned

    Me: 26
    Jan. 2014 - Blood work ordered by obgyn:  Prolactin = high & AMH = low (0.73)
    Feb. 6, 2014 - Repeat blood work ordered by obgyn:  Prolactin = normal & AMH = low (0.9)
    Feb.  20, 2014 - First appointment with RE
    Feb. 24, 2014 - HSG scheduled;  DX:  one tube definitely open & one tube could be blocked
    Mar. 7, 2014 - CD 21 Blood work for Progesterone; DX:  Progesterone level at 5.2; shows I ovulated but was low
    Mar. 28, 2014 - Laparoscopy; DX:  Tubes open.  Found some endometriosis and had that removed.
     
    History:
    Started TTC:  June 2012
    June 2012 - March 2013:  When it Happens/it happens method = BFN
    March 2013:  Started using Fertility Friend
    Cycles 1 - 15 with Fertility Friend = BFN
    Cycle 16 - Benched due to Laparoscopy
    Cycle 17 - Natural Cycle = BFN
    Cycle 18 - Natural Cycle = BFN
    Cycle 19 - Natural Cycle = BFN
     

    Current Cycle:
    Cycle 20 = Natural Cycle


    image
  • cu97tigercu97tiger member
    edited July 2014
  • What good news! Thank you for sharing this, it is really good that your DH is going to quit drinking. I hope you find a doctor who meets your needs and that when you DO get pregnant that all goes well. Keep us posted, ok? 
    HappySeeker
    PS I'm glad you didn't listen to your friend! :)
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"