BF Shaming

Manda+panda · July 2014

So this hasn't been my week. I'm over it.

On Saturday, my friend and her one year old son came over. I didn't expect her for another hour, was about to put my shirt on, and DD got hungry. About two minutes after I latched her, my friend let me know she was at my house. I threw a halter top over me to cover what could still be seen and answered the door. Your probably think my friend was bothered. Wrong! She laughed. My husband? "How could you answer the door like that? Doesn't it bother you?" Actually, no. We're both CNAs. We're both mom's. And we're good friends. Her kid didn't even look twice. I reemed DH. So not cool. It was 90 out, I wasn't going to make them wait outside, and baby was hungry.

Then, at work yesterday I about lost it. I have the same pumping schedule every day. And every day, this girl wants me to watch her patients while she goes and smokes right when I have to pump. She doesn't listen and leaves the floor. If something happens if I also leave, I'll be guilty of neglect. Because of this and the way my duties align, I often can only pump for 7 minutes.

I've been annoyed with her for weeks, and decided to sit her down and talk about it. I explained WHY I have to pump so when I do, why it's important to me, and that I'm more than happy to watch her patients, but it would either have to be before or after my pumping. I was very nice about it.

Her response? "While I think it's noble of you to want to do that, and I can respect it out side of work, out truly isn't fair for everyone to have to work around you. It's really an inconvenience. Not just to me, to everyone."

I'm grateful my work has been better about protecting my rights. She's on probation for something else, so if I complain she will get fired. That's not my goal. We're both off the next two days, and I'm hoping she has time to think about her words and actions. I wanted to deal with it between the two of us, but, if that shit continues, or the shaming comments, because that was one of three in two days ("you must feel like a cow, that's gross." And " once I have kids and breastfeed I'm going to get a boob job. It makes your boobs sag down to your knees and look nasty. Well...you already know"), I will be forced to go to my supervisor.

Sorry for rant, I'm just incredibly angry.

Twirple · July 2014

I cannot believe that you are having to deal with that. I really hope, for your sake, that she comes to her senses over the next couple of days. If not, you shouldn't hesitate to go to your supervisor. Not being able to pump or to pump long enough can have a negative impact on your supply. Plus, providing breastmilk can boost your LO's immune system, which means your baby gets sick less often, so you are out of work less often. Win/win.

strawberrytree · July 2014

Yeah, I'd go to the supervisor too. It's an inconvenience to her that you pump, but she's totally allowed her smoke breaks? Smh.

Manda+panda · July 2014

If it keeps up, I'll go to them. She hass gotten away with it because our boss likes her better and is downright rude to me. It's more of a pain to go to her. I thought I'd try this way, first.

Also, in the past, a man I worked with sexually harassed me. I made a formal complaint. He was not punished and I was moved sections.

Really, I've dealt with a lot of harassment at my job and had it pushed back on me. Literally every time I've complained about harassment, I've been moved and the people had nothing done to them.

Two years ago, I was off work taking care of my grandfather while he passed away. When I came back to work,puerile had accused me of accusing residents while I wasn't there. They were screaming at me with returning going on and coming back the day after my grandfather's death, I just broke down and sobbed. They moved me to another section...actually another facility they own, and my bids likes to day she can't send me there to help out because I'll cry.

I think I just need a new job.

Mustardseed2007 · July 2014

@manda+panda I think you do need another job.

You shouldn't HAVE to find another job, but all of that you have described is so beyond crappy! I'm so sorry you've had to go through that! I was going to recommend you go ahead and complain since she's on probation and she obviously has no sense of propriety, professionalism and manners, which is just going to always make her a bad co-worker. However, given the rest of your story, I would encourage you to start looking at some place that isn't going to put you down like that all the time. I don't know what the economy is like in your area, but if you can get out, I would do it.

(((((HUGS)))))

alohamel · July 2014

Ugh Id be annoyed too. That wasnt right of her at all!

knotty-girl · July 2014

This bitch. Her head is so far up her ass. LMAO at what she said. You could say the same thing about her smoking breaks, except it'd be true. I'd talk to a supervisor and let her get her fired. She doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Teresa1896 · July 2014

Turn that bitch in. I was way too permissive about stupid comments about BFing my first, and I let a lot go. I'm not doing it this time. My boobs and BFing/pumping are not a topic of discussion at work. Period. I will discuss my scheduling needs with my supervisor (who's BF 3 kids) but other than that, it's nobody's damn business.

Serenla · July 2014

That's bullshit, she is on probation and she opened her ignorant mouth. Talk to your boss Hun.

Rrrrrachel · July 2014

I have not read all the responses, but wtf it's ok for people to have to work around her SMOKING but not your PUMPING?

Bluebird2318 · July 2014

I'd come up to her on her smoke break and say "I sure am glad I don't smoke. It makes your teeth look nasty and you always smell like ass. Well... You already know." For real though, I would just report her to the supervisor. Maybe I'm a bitch, but I wouldn't give a crap about her job. Serves her right for behaving that way at work (and if she's already on probation anyway, I'm sure she's a real winner).

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