Working mom/Shared custody vent..... — The Bump
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Working mom/Shared custody vent.....

Hi everyone,

My ex and I broke up after my son's 1st birthday.  We remained apart for 9 months and then he relentlessly tried for us to get back together again.  After 2 months of working on things, we have broken up again.  I'm confident things will NEVER work with us (from what I can tell, he has narcissistic personality disorder and we are fighting constantly and I refuse to live in that drama all of the time :( . 

Now we are back to a schedule where he has our son (who just turned 2) 3 days a week.  2 overnights during the week and one weekend overnight and full day.  During the week, by the time I pick up my son and get home from work, it is 7 pm so we just make dinner, do a few activities and then it is time for bed.  We don't have much quality time together except for the one weekend day I have him.  I feel so distressed and like I don't see him enough.  His father is a great dad (much better dad than boyfriend) and I want him to have time with him, but I feel like I'm barely seeing him between work and him being away from me 3 days a week.  I try to keep busy during my time to myself (see friends, do things I enjoy like working out, etc.), but I still feel this awful sadness and like I only have a child "part time."  Anyone else feel like this or have any tips for coping? 

 

Thanks in advance!

 

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Re: Working mom/Shared custody vent.....

  • Everything @becwheat said. Hugs, welcome back to the board
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  • What about switching to 2 nights every other weekend so you can get an entire uninterrupted weekend with your LO? It would bother me for sure to not be able to have a lazy Saturday or Sunday cause we have to get ready to go to BD's.
    I know for myself this week I worked 40 hours in 4 days. I usually work 20 or so in 3 or 4. I will be going back to work full time so this gave me an idea what I am in for. I will say I am so thankful this is my weekend with the kids cause I've missed them and I can see a change in their behavior as well. I know after 1 full day I might sing another tune but that's cause the two of them kick my ass! Lol

  • I can totally relate.

    STBXH doesn't have overnight visits with DD just yet (he's not living in a place that I feel comfortable letting her sleep), but he's a PT SAHD and he spends three full days a week with her at my place while I work.  (She's in DC the other 2 days)  I also don't walk in the door until 7pm, so we have dinner, bath, read some books and then bed.

    In addition to that-- we split the weekend-- I have her all day on Saturday, and he picks her up early on Sunday and drops her off right before bedtime. 

    I think you are doing the best you can-- keep spending time with your friends, doing things for yourself, maybe even take a class to fill up your time?

    Hugs-- I know it's hard.  You are not alone.

     

    BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12

    Lilypie - (TUWi)

     

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