In law vent...

joshsmandy · July 2014

I apologize for this in advance I just really need to get this out somewhere where people understand my frustration. My dad is coming today to visit from out of state, this is his first trip in a long time so we asked BM a few weeks ago to trade days so we could have SD so all the kids could see grandpa. Well that's blown up over night, MIL found out about it and instantly needed to take SD to cedar point yesterday BM said yes but she needed to be home by 11 p m. Well I get a call at 1 a m from BM that SD is still not home and MIL is not answering her calls but texted and said she would be home when she gets there but because if this now we can't have SD today for the family get together. Half of me wants to call my MIL and let her have it but the other half says its not my place. I'm beyond pissed. MIL was off work all week, she purposely picked Friday for this and she purposely messed this up. Maybe I'm out of line but I just needed to vent.

Ilumine · July 2014

This is a HUSBAND issue. what is your husband going to do with his mother.

ambrvan · July 2014

Personally, I would handle this myself with MIL. like Not everyone works this way, but DH and I decided, after much strife between MIL and me, that she and I handle all our issues between us and leave him out of it. But like I said, not everyone works that way.

In a perfect world, I would much rather my H handle it, but that's just not the way things work around here.

I COMPLETELY sympathize with you. But does your MIL dislike you so much to disrupt time with your father? And doesn't she resize that what she did is also bad for her own son and SD?

joshsmandy · July 2014

My H really didn't have anything to do with this. His mom just does what she wants and she has no respect for anyone. If we tell her no then she tells us we are keeping her from her. And now she goes behind his back to BM then tells him what BM is letting her Do. I'm more hurt then anything that she did this because my dad was planning this trip for a month and she knows when she keeps my SD later then BM tells her to bring her home that we end up paying for it. Thanks for letting me vent ladies.

ambrvan · July 2014

My MIL used to do that same thing constantly. We never paid for it exactly because BM wsa always more than happy to give up her time. But MIL would also plan things without asking us on our time. And if we said no she would pick up SD from BM before us and do it anyway. It sucks.

But MIL and I have finally worked things out and she is nana now instead of trying to be her parent.

SueBear · July 2014

Do you get along with BM in general? If yes, I would ask her (or have DH ask her) please not to give MIL extra visits if it will impact your time in the future (for favors, etc). Let her know that you will deal with MIL and that she can visit with DD on your time.

If MIL is as difficult as you say, then BM may welcome the opportunity to say "sorry, discuss this with YOUR son." when she asks for switches, time etc.

And if you tell MIL "NO" in the future and she accuses you of keeping SD from her - so what? She isn't entitled to time with SD. Yes, it is wonderful if grandma and SD can bond, but if she cannot be considerate of anyone else, then she can't have that time unless it is convenient FOR YOUR FAMILY.

JLHV1909 · July 2014

Why does bm interact more with your mil? Your dh needs to address that issue as well.

joshsmandy · July 2014

Thanks for the advice ladies. DH called his mom and were having a talk this weekend and then we are having one with BM this weekend also.

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