Trying to Get Pregnant
OK explain
People should lurk for 3 months before posting, but if you lurk for awhile, feel like you know people by lurking, and then post a BFP, people will rain on your parade. So essentially, the only people who should be posting are people who are TTC for 3 months or longer, many of whom wont have enough time to become regulars before they get their BFP. So the board perspective is skewed by the people who are actually "allowed" to post.
I'm not new to the bump, the nest, or the knot, I know how the boards work and how the snark is, I just hoped that this board out of ALL of them would be a little better than that, since it essentially is meant to be a "drive through" board for newbies.
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Re: OK explain
Um...who said that? I thought this board was to discuss the act/process of and ideas surrounding Getting Pregnant. That's why it's called "Getting Pregnant", not "Got Pregnant, Posted Once and Left".
Where did you get the idea that it's meant to be a "drive through" board for newbies? Um..that would only be if everyone got pg their first cycle trying, which unfortunately is not how it goes.
GP is a place where people are helping each other learn how to get pg. Some of us are/were here long enough to form bonds with other GPers. And there is nothing like a slap in the face of someone who has been trying for months and months to get pregnant than having some random-ass person come on and say "BFP!!!" like we care. That's what first tri is for.
But thanks for your random input into GP!
well first off, the lurking for 3 months was a joke, not an official board rule. it's always a good idea to lurk though and get a good idea of your audience and to learn the way of the board.
but when people lurk we don't get to know them, so drive-bys are annoying, i would just go introduce myself on first tri, but that's just me.
That is the appropriate thing to do. Why announce it to the group that is still trying if you don't know any of them and have no reason to post there? Announce to the group that is already pg and can share in your joy.
If it was a "drive through" board it would be called, "drive by posting." WTH?
Okay, does that make sense?! I'm drunk... LOL
I'm not talking about myself personally. I've lurked here for a long time and have watched the way the "regulars" treat the "drive bys." I for one think about what I post (which is rarely, on this board at least) and look forward to learning from other posters. It just makes me sad when someone posts a BFP and people act snarky because they weren't posting on the board long enough. Or when a group of the regulars decide that a rule should be that you need to lurk for 3 months before you post because it takes that long to have questions.
Lets be honest, the average amount of time it takes a woman to get pregnant is 4-6 months. Most people have some questions before 3 months, and if they waited till then, they'd have a limited time to post before they moved on to another board. Hence, the people who are around long enough to become regulars are on the long end of average or longer, skewing the opinions of the board. When I came on this board as a newbie, it was the "stupid" questions that I read the most, the same questions I had. If no one had posted those questions the board would have been mostly useless.
All I'm saying is that people should treat everyone with the same amount of respect, regardless of how long they've been TTC or whether they are a regular on this board.
And why would you assume that everyone who comes through is random? I've been on this board for months and most of you don't know me, and you're collective opinion that people should lurk for 3 months before posting pretty much eliminates the average person from having enough time to become someone who "matters" on this board. This is a getting pregnant board, not a trouble getting pregnant board, so there's no reason that a bunch of bitter folk should rain on the parades of people who are excited to share their news.
I AM a lurker for the most part, but I feel like I know all of you because I read your posts every day, I'm a "regular" on this board whether you all know me or not. Maybe that's what bugs me, that after all I've learned here for months, if I posted a BFP everyone would roll their eyes. I chat on one of the snarkiest boards on the nest for the past 6 or so years, I know how it works, I would just enjoy this board more (and think a lot of people would) if we could just be excited for everyone rather than picking and choosing and being bitter.
A. It actually takes the average person 6-12 months to get pregnant.
2. The "3 month rule" was a joke - get a sense of humor.
C. Drive-by's are usually either congratulated or ignored, not snarked.
4. Why are you picking this fight at midnight? We're tired. Be gone.
Right - this is the GETTING PREGNANT board, not the LOOK AT ME I'M PREGNANT board.
Way to ring in the New Year on a positive note.
ditto bee!
and i can not say it enough, if you don't post, how the FVCK are we supposed to know you. when i first started posting i felt like i 'knew' people from lurking, but i got that they didn't know who the hell i was. and don't they get that random bfps from people who haven't posted and won't continue to do so just sit the wrong way with people. yay you're pregnant, move along to first tri!
bwahahaha, i loves you!
and P.S.
"And I have also never been a fan of board rules. I'm a bigger fan of everyone helping each other, understanding, and making the boards a nicer place."
If THAT is what you really think, you would fare better on babygaga or twoweekwait.com. I have yet to understand why people would come on here, *** about how much it sucks, and then stay. Why don't you just leave and save ALL of us the trouble?
After 4 years, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs our surprise miracle is here!
My Blog
TTC # 2 BFP 03/02/13 = CP, BFP 05/14/13 = CP, BFP 08/09/13 = CP
RPL testing = normal
TI Cycle #1, 50 clomid days 3-7, 150 iu Follistim days 8-11 = BFP! EDD May 22, 2014
Betas: 13 DPO = 79, 15 DPO = 149, 19 DPO = 788, 22 DPO = 2031
I meant to quote,
I think I'm drunk also!
After 4 years, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs our surprise miracle is here!
My Blog
TTC # 2 BFP 03/02/13 = CP, BFP 05/14/13 = CP, BFP 08/09/13 = CP
RPL testing = normal
TI Cycle #1, 50 clomid days 3-7, 150 iu Follistim days 8-11 = BFP! EDD May 22, 2014
Betas: 13 DPO = 79, 15 DPO = 149, 19 DPO = 788, 22 DPO = 2031
Actually ABC this is not the first time I've posted, I'm just not in the "in" group, nor do I desire to be, since being in the "in" group on any board on the knot/nest/bump for the most part requires snark, attitude, and a holier-than-thou-this-is-my-board-leave-if-you-dont-like-it attitude. I'm proud to be bigger than that on the boards I am in the "in" crowd on.
i recognized you, i know it's not the first time you posted (i know you were talking to abc not me, but i thought i'd chime in anyway)
and p.s. my PD girls, are some of the best, kindest people i've ever meet thankyouverymuch!
Dude, you are just making yourself look like a loser with nothing better to do. If you have your own "in" crowd, why are you here busting on how SOME people view Drive-By's? What do you care if this isn't your regular board?
And I never said this was your first post, I said way to make a first impression, cause clearly, no one who responded to your post has any clue who you are. And believe me honey, it has nothing to do with you not being in our "in" crowd. It's cause, we don't know who the hell you are. It sounds like you have some random bitterness you needed to sprinkle on an otherwise cheerful board trying to celebrate New Year's. I saw that you responded to the post last night, but that wasn't enough. Had to continue. Clearly, you're not much better than those you criticize, if you feel the need to start drama at 1 am on NYE. Sad.
I'm not even going to comment abc, it sounds like you might have something else bothering you other than this post to get that upset by it. Happy New Years.
I must correct your misinformation. It takes the average couple 6 to 12 months, but thanks for trying.
perfect.
They might be kind to you, but the core group on here seems to go out of their way to be mean and snarky to new people. I'll probably get ripped a new one right now, just for disagreeing with the main opinion.
The "3 month" rule was not only mentioned once, it was mentioned several times. I totally understand the need to lurk and am pretty sure you were just being tongue in cheek with the actual number.
The fact of the matter is that this board, by nature, is a very transient board. It frustrates me to see such a cliquey reaction to new posters. People seem to take glee from jumping on someone and then ripping into them. It's reminiscent of ML of yore. Meaning that even ML is not that bad.
I am not saying that things have to be all puppies and rainbows. I can tell that you care for one another. I just wish there wasn't such a wall up sometimes. Kumbaya and what not.