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March 2014 Moms
vacsx2
member
I'm not a sleep expert, but...
vacsx2
member
I hired one to speak at my house for my moms group meetup. Nothing revolutionary, but she did share a schedule and self-soothing methods that have been very successful for us and most of the women that came to the event.
She is with swellbeing.com. If you are in Chicago, I'm sure you'd recognize her from any Bump Club Chicago events.
Thought I'd share the documents she distributed.
She is with swellbeing.com. If you are in Chicago, I'm sure you'd recognize her from any Bump Club Chicago events.
Thought I'd share the documents she distributed.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm not a sleep expert, but...
Soothing methods.
Married : ** 09/09/2011 ** BFP : 07-18-13 ** Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14 **
** BFP 2 : 01- 05-15 ** EDD 09-11-15 **
I haven't found a schedule that is easy to follow as I do t want to always be looking at the clock
TTC #1 since 2007. Dx: Unexplained infertility. 4 IUIs in 2008 = BFN. IVF #1 07/09. DD #1 born April 2010 (40w5d).
TTC #2 since 2011. Dx: Endometriosis and hypothyroidism. 2 FETs in 2012, BFP 6/12 but m/c @ 7 weeks. IVF #2 06/13. DD #2 born March 2014 (40w1d).
I won't let my LO cry it out.... At all.... She escalates and so it just doesn't work even for a minute or two (admittedly I haven't tried for any length of time, so this might be why it's not working).
During the day she WILL NOT nap unless on me or in the car. As in.... Won't! I've not allowed her to nap on me or in the car (where I can help it) for a few days and she will literally stay up and very very cranky all day. I can spot sleepy cues well - rubbing eyes, stating off into space, not lookin at toys, yawning, everything!! As soon as she does this I try to get her down, she cries, I pick her up. I've tried two things at this point then: 1) soother her till she stops crying and put her straight back down and 2) soother her till she is VERY drowsy and put her back down. The most I can get out of her is 20minutes and that's ONCE in the day, not two/three naps....
Bedtime she goes down easier, but I well and truly nurse to sleep!! Going down drowsy results in huge crying fit. She'll sleep for 3hours, then it's up every 1.5hours after that. It's worn me down and I now co-sleep after the second get up (so 3hours, feed, 1.5hours, in bed with me).
I know I should not give up and have her in with me, but only ever sleeping 1.5hour stretches all night is not sustainable. If you doubt me, set alarm for every 1.5hours, hold a stone weight for 30mins every time alarm goes off
But does anyone have any tips?! I have a routine we follow pre-bed, but no daytime routine as I follow her cues.
TTC #1 since 2007. Dx: Unexplained infertility. 4 IUIs in 2008 = BFN. IVF #1 07/09. DD #1 born April 2010 (40w5d).
TTC #2 since 2011. Dx: Endometriosis and hypothyroidism. 2 FETs in 2012, BFP 6/12 but m/c @ 7 weeks. IVF #2 06/13. DD #2 born March 2014 (40w1d).
I've been the doctors today though and we are trying a different reflux medicine to see if she has silent reflux that the other medicine we tried isn't fixing. Apparently it takes a few days to work, so I will give it a few weeks to see if it fixes it and then we can break the habit. I so so hope it works!!
LO sleeps much better at night than during the day. I have a goal of 2 naps per day but if it doesn't happen I try not to worry about it.
It is hard and exhausting, but do whatever works best for you and your LO. Remember that some babies need more/less sleep than others. My pedi said that babies are self regulated and if they are tired enough they will eventually sleep. So if your LO won't sleep just let her play some more and try for a nap in 20 or 30 minutes. Like others have said, get a white noise machine. We love ours.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000F3QG0U?pc_redir=1405310999&robot_redir=1
Also like pp have said they are getting to the stage of getting distracted. I usually have to turn the tv off to nurse now, I used to not. And, if he doesn't get a nap in even after I've tried, I try not to stress about it. Either he's going to go to sleep or he's not, I'm not going to force it when all that does is just stress us both out!
Something the Happiest Baby book helped me realize, is that by the time my LO shows tired signs, she might already be OT, and once she is OT, it's a lot harder to get her to nap. If I put her down when I know she should probably be getting tired, but before she's showing a lot of tired signs, she often sleeps better. Maybe try putting her down for a nap every 1.5 hours or less and see if that helps? (Of course put her down sooner if you see her tired cues.)
Sleep begets sleep is definitely true. On days my LO doesn't get enough sleep during the day, she has more trouble sleeping at night. I wonder if the lack of naps during the day could be affecting your LO's night sleep. The waking up after 1.5 hours almost sounds like a nap, to me.
Having a routine for bedtime and naptime has definitely helped us. For naptime our routine is short - sleep sack, paci, white noise, a short lullaby, and in the crib. But it's enough to get her the message of what's about to happen. That doesn't mean she still doesn't fight it sometimes, or wake up after 40 mins (especially if she's OT), but she does seem to be going down easier over time in general.
And something I STILL need to work on.... try not to stress yourself out too much about it. I've obsessed about her sleep some days and it just created additional frustration and anxiety. Some days, for whatever reason, their sleep just sucks and there is nothing you can do. I keep telling myself that it will get better.
@mcatmay I'm so glad it worked for you and I honestly so think it would work wonders for lots of families and possibly even for my LO!! But for me, I physically cannot let her cry. I've left showers with soapy hair to help my husband soothe her - even though I know he is more than capable I can't stand to ignore it. When she is older, if this is still happening I might reconsider, but would really need an army of support there with me to stop me going back to her.
@g33kyg1rly thanks! I will try the putting her down every 1.5hours in the day whether tired or not! Can't hurt!
We tried white noise, but she cried over it even louder.... I will try it again though!
My LO is 17 weeks. She has been this way since 12 weeks.... 5weeks is a LONG time - these last few days I've gone from being fine with it and battling through to really really needing my sleep. I think we are all starting to need sleep, although my DH has been nothing but supportive! Family on the other hand have not.... Saying it is my fault and I've spoilt her etc. maybe I have, but I can't let a baby cry - it's not in me. She used to be an awesome sleeper which is what makes it so frustrating! I will have my dream baby back
In any case I take my cues from LO, some days I just get less stuff done but I trust my babies instincts and secretly love being his whole world.
One other note is that the 45 minute nap is due to their sleep cycle being around 40-45 minutes. When they are younger, babies often have trouble transitioning sleep cycles and so can wake up and not know how to get back to sleep. Getting them used to falling asleep "drowsy but awake" (if you can...I know it's tough) can help them learn how to put themselves to sleep when they wake up and get longer stretches of sleep. For my LO, I can also sometimes extend her nap if she wakes up at the 45 minute mark by giving her back her paci, putting my hand on her back and shushing her back to sleep. However, I generally only have success with this once a day at most. There are some other nap extension techniques here (https://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=213387.0). I didn't really have success with any of them, but they may work for different people.
Another thing you could try, is try extending the time before you put her down tomorrow to 1 hr 45 mins, and then the next day at 2 hours, to see how that affects her naps. 4 month olds supposedly can usually stay awake for about 2 hours at a time, but I figured it was safest to start with a shorter time period.
As I said, it isn't an exact science, and might take some experimentation, and even if you find something that "works," that doesn't mean it will work all the time, since our LOs are still human. :-) But hopefully it helps a little!
15 minutes of screaming crying is absurd for a baby this small. Ugh, I just can't.
Here's the Wait It Out blog I posted FB other day:
https://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-wio-wait-it-out-method-of-sleep-training/
@mommyKT310
Yeah. Not for me.
I'm not saying I'll never do CIO, but I definitely won't be doing it before object permanence/during teething/growth spurts. I feel like that's saying my sleep us more important than my baby's needs.
I really don't think she let's him cry/scream for 15 minutes!
Like I believe @FarmBoysWife said, some babies are genetically good sleepers and CIO works although it's not really CIO because they aren't really crying?! .
Correct me if I'm wrong here, @babycaps
Thanks for all the help and tips.... I'm sure I will be back for more as things progress, but for now, I'm sticking with the meds and putting her down every 1.5-2hours to offer up daytime naps even if no sleepy cues (obviously immediately if I do see cues)
I'll echo some others. We all will choose to do what we feel us right for our child. Like it or not doesn't matter- not your child.
I honestly don't know how I feel about CIO or sleep training. I've read up on it. Gotten advice from people who've used it. But currently Sloan goes down for bedtime easy and wakes once to eat ( knock on wood) so I don't actually need to decide to utilize it or not. Some people passing judgement haven't even been in that situation to say which wAy they would lean.
That said sadly a very nice well educated person I work with did CIO at two months- I was surprised BUT her child her choice. She did research and made HER Decsion.
Babies cry. I don't really think babies have the cognitive skills to be all, "I'm crying because mama dropped me off at daycare, but I know I'm loved, so it's ok!" but then think "I'm crying because I'm fighting sleep and mama won't come right away---time for some PSYCHOLOGICAL SCARRING!!" That's ridiculous.
We need to back off and not be so damn judgy. It's like people are trying to win points or something. Stop.
Seriously people, we are all caring, educated moms. Our kids aren't going to be harmed by different methods. I have put up with very long periods of Will crying hysterically with absolutely nothing I could do about it. About to have another one when I can't feed him for 12 hours. The extreme positions always make me roll my eyes so hard.
This whole conversation irks me.
And no, we don't CIO. Just FTR.
I also don't CIO and am incredibly irked by this conversation.
Why aren't you around more?
It sucks, but I can't be in two places at once, so there will be crying. Just a fact of life with twins plus a 3 year old.
CIO issues aside. Is anyone else confused about only 4 feeds a day. My baby is BF when he is with me and takes a bottle of pumped milk when I'm at work. The bottles are 4 oz max. Any more and he pukes it up. A baby only getting 16 oz during the day is probably going to be waking up at night to feed and get the other half of his calories for the day.