STM+ Moms - Potty Training?

ashie0610 · July 2014

I'm not part of my DS's BMB so I hope you don't mind me asking fellow O14 moms who've been there with their older kids for some advice. What methods, books, etc. do you guys recommend for potty training? I want to start reading up over the next couple weeks but don't want to just start buying books at random.

I personally don't feel all that ready to potty train and was planning to wait until DS was closer to age 3, but he is showing a ton of interest and can communicate very clearly when he wants to go potty. He told me the other day that he wants to "wear big boy underwear like daddy". We let him sit on the toilet whenever he asks to and he has actually gone multiple times already, both #1 & #2. He doesn't always go when he tries though.

His daycare is closed for a week next month so I took off work and was thinking we could give it a shot since we'll be home all week. Daycare has said they will work with him whenever we are ready. I don't want to discourage it if our window of opportunity is now, and I'd rather do it before baby comes than be trying to figure it out with a newborn when he will already be dealing with so much other change.

I'd love to hear thoughts and advice from successful PT'ers!

Emerald27 · July 2014

We're just getting started on potty training and didn't read any books. :: Just listened to what worked for my friends and am applying some here and there, and following DS' lead.

I like naked potty training. Last week and this week I started offering DS the alternative of staying naked during his first diaper change of the day, and he said "nakie" every time. So for a few hours at least each day, he's been naked. I keep his frog potty next to the toys and tell him before he gets up; "if you're nakie then when you need to go potty, you need to sit on the frog potty."

He has had 1 accident in the past week, while watching Daniel Tiger and not wanting to sit on the potty.

Otherwise, every time he needs to go, he sits down and pees. Then he tells me he's done, gets a high five, and asks me to clean his potty.

Yesterday and the day before he pooped on the potty. I'm calling it a fluke until it happens a few more times.

Next week we might get him some underwear. When he seems ready, we'll start working on using the grown up potty.

AppleGrapeMSTK · July 2014

We waited until DS showed signs he was ready, like being interested in watching us go, stay dry through the night and naps, etc.. I set a timer when I was home and once an hour I would tell him it was time to potty and put him on the toilet. Sometimes he would go, sometimes he wouldn't. On a few occasions we put him on his potty in front of a movie and just let him sit for a while.

I didn't read any books, so I dont know about the three day training method. I think it took us a solid month to transition from diapers only to officially potty trained. I think it would have been faster had DH been as consistent as I was (we worked opposite shifts so it was half a day of not using the toilet every hour).

caranichole · July 2014

So far we are like 90% there with both girls and honestly we just sort of followed their lead. They are both in pull ups but mainly stay dry majority of the day (unless they are distracted by something - a movie, the park, etc). I have a routine with them both. first thing in the morning they come to my room and ask me for milk, they both know they have to sit on the potty before anything else. Usually they haven't gone yet.

I started off reminding them every hour and taking them to practice going ti they got the hang of it. They would get a sticker and a very thrilling song and dance from mommy if it was a successful trip! Now, they both usually tell me when they need to go but sometimes I ask and remind them if it's been a long while. For a reward they get stars on a chart and when they make it to dinner time dry they get a special treat - candy, cookie, half a small ice cream cup (things they love but don't get frequently).

I didn't want them naked because our entire apartment is carpet and I struggle enough wih juice and milk on the floor. Also, I was in no rush as long as they were steadily moving in the right direction.

ashie0610 · July 2014

I love hearing how you guys are handling and/or have been through this. Thanks for all the advice! I like the idea of going either naked or in underwear all day when we're home and then putting him on the potty every hour. I think we will have to do pull-ups at night and for naps though because he doesn't always wake up dry. He also sometimes does a morning poop. =/

He likes using the big toilet with a ring instead of the smaller stand-alone, so I guess that's good. My big worry is around about how it all will work when we go out in public after we've had success at home. Do you put pull ups on them for trips or do you hope for the best and be prepared to clean up?

cozybluebear · July 2014

My son is 17 months which I know is early but we decided to slowly start now. We bought him a potty and started sitting him on it before bath time. He follows me to the bathroom all day long so I started asking him if he had to potty.. he'll start grabbing at his diaper to take it off. I'll sit him on it and he'll look down but he's never actually gone yet. I'm just trying to get him used to it. He seems to be catching on.

Liss1481 · July 2014

DS is about 99% potty-trained during the day. We read the "No Cry Potty Training Solution," but that was the only book we really looked at. There's a quiz in the book to help determine if now is a good time (although your son definitely sounds like he's ready!)

We tried pull-ups based on some advice but they just did not work for DS. He treated them just like his diapers. We ended up taking a few days and doing underwear only or naked time, having him sit on the potty about every hour. We also did a reward (mini marshmallow and mini M&M) if he used the potty. We had some accidents during that time, but it's what worked the best for us.

I was a little worried about weaning him off the reward system, but honestly he just kind of stopped asking for them. He probably only asks now once or twice a week.

Good luck!

ashie0610 · July 2014

cozybluebear said:

My son is 17 months which I know is early but we decided to slowly start now. We bought him a potty and started sitting him on it before bath time. He follows me to the bathroom all day long so I started asking him if he had to potty.. he'll start grabbing at his diaper to take it off. I'll sit him on it and he'll look down but he's never actually gone yet. I'm just trying to get him used to it. He seems to be catching on.

This is what we did with DS, probably around 18-19 months. He just turned two almost a month ago. His interest would come and go so we never forced it, but now he really seems to want to do it.

caranichole · July 2014

ashie0610 said:
I love hearing how you guys are handling and/or have been through this. Thanks for all the advice! I like the idea of going either naked or in underwear all day when we're home and then putting him on the potty every hour. I think we will have to do pull-ups at night and for naps though because he doesn't always wake up dry. He also sometimes does a morning poop. =/

He likes using the big toilet with a ring instead of the smaller stand-alone, so I guess that's good. My big worry is around about how it all will work when we go out in public after we've had success at home. Do you put pull ups on them for trips or do you hope for the best and be prepared to clean up?

Since we do an 8 hr road trip every other weekend I will say that we intentionally try to drive at night to avoid bathroom breaks but if we must drive during they day, the 2 yr old does not go to the potty even though she will cry and hold it till she can't. (I feel awful about that). The three yr old won't go in the car at all so I have places along our route that I know have the cleanest bathrooms and I cover the seat. She is also big enough that she can sit on the big seat if she has support and I usually let her hold onto my arms so she doesn't touch the toilet with her hands. Hand sanitizer is a must have.

IrishHoney123 · July 2014

DS1 showed interest on and off between 18 months-3 years. It never lasted more than a week, though. Right after his 3rd birthday he was finally ready, and that was that. It has been nearly 3 months and he has had no issues and no drama! I know some moms aren't willing to wait so long, but for us we just let him take the lead. We didn't use any techniques. We went straight to underwear. We did buy a little potty chair, but DS had no interest in it and just likes the big potty. He has a little step stool for when he needs to sit on it for #2.

SusieBW · July 2014

We didn't use any books or anything, we just followed DD's lead. We had her in undies whenever we were home, and would ask her every hour or so if she had to go. If a few hours went by without her going, we would just tell her it was time to go and try. And we always took her first thing in the morning, before we left the house to go anywhere, before bath and before bed if it wasn't a bath night. We used pull-ups for when we went out anywhere. We put her straight on the big toilet with a ring, because those small potty things gross me out. I'm PTing my kid so I don't have to clean up poop anymore - who wants to dump and clean one of those things all the time? Plus, I'm a big believer in avoiding unnecessary transitions, so I say skip the kid-sized potty. We started taking her whenever she would ask and before bath starting around 15 months, but we never pushed it until after she turned 2. She was all done with diapers/pull ups/etc before she was 2.5.

Whenever she had accidents, we would remind her that this is why she needs to tell someone as soon as she feels like she has to go. My DD takes it really seriously when we're disappointed with her, so even if we just used that kind of tone it was really effective, like "Ohhhhh, T, again? Why didn't you tell us you had to go?" And we used to give her 1 M&M when she would pee on the potty and either a mini Reese's cup or 2 M&Ms when she pooped (depending whether DH and I had eaten all her Reese's cups, because that happened a lot). But none if she had a wet pull up or anything.

I think it's a matter of figuring out what works for you and your child. Figure out what your LO responds to, and do that. Every kid id going to be different, so the method that worked for someone else may not work as well for you. Don't get too hung up, and try and go with the flow (pun totally intended) as much as you can. Once she started getting the hang of using the toilet, DD was completely appalled with herself whenever she had a poop accident, even in a pull-up, so we only had them a couple of times before she got really good about asking to go.

BeanNut · July 2014

I don't really recommend the naked three day methods. My kids never want to do anything if I push them too hard. If your LO is interested in PT , have him practice wearing pull- ups and going every hour or two. You can use rewards depending on how quickly you want him to be trained. When he is consistently staying dry/clean for longer periods of time, you can make a big deal of getting big boy underwear.

SusieBW · July 2014

Oh, my DD also responds well to "big girl" things, so the whole "diapers are for babies" argument worked really well with her, too. When she had accidents we would make comments like (and this might be awful) "you know who pees in their pants? Babies. Are you a baby? No. So you need to make sure you tell us before you have to go, so you're not acting like a baby, right?" But she responded really well to that kind of thing.

We also let her pick our her big girl undies, because big girl things are a big deal for her.

ashie0610 · July 2014

SusieBW said:

SNIP

Whenever she had accidents, we would remind her that this is why she needs to tell someone as soon as she feels like she has to go. My DD takes it really seriously when we're disappointed with her, so even if we just used that kind of tone it was really effective, like "Ohhhhh, T, again? Why didn't you tell us you had to go?" And we used to give her 1 M&M when she would pee on the potty and either a mini Reese's cup or 2 M&Ms when she pooped (depending whether DH and I had eaten all her Reese's cups, because that happened a lot). But none if she had a wet pull up or anything.

SNIP

Hahah, this risk is very real for us if we decide to go the candy-reward route!

MsMacual · July 2014

Your son definitely sounds ready and it really is up to you as to how you want to get him fully trained. Our son started showing interest a few months ago and will often ask to pee on the potty. We've had some successful days in undies, too, but he has not yet figured out how to poo on the potty and will ask to wear a diaper most days. Based on his personality, pushing him to go won't work well so I'm not at the point where I think that a 3 day method will work for him- maybe it will in a few months, though. We are doing simple stuff like asking him to sit on the potty when he gets up and through out the day. We celebrate when he goes and make a big deal out of it. We've scaled back giving him treats (candy) b/c they are his pee prizes and he seems somewhat motivated by the fact that there is candy involved. I also had him pick out a bunch of poop prizes and have them in a box for him. I gave him a bigger prize the first time he peed in a public bathroom b/c he had previously been afraid to do it. Based on the other kids that we know (our nephew and kids at our daycare) we are fully expecting that he'll finally do it around age 3. I'm due 11 days before his 3rd birthday and was hoping he will be day trained before his brother arrives, but I'm not sure that this will be the case. In the mean time, I'm potty training our puppy! I figure at least one will be potty trained by the end of July.

Eastie156 · July 2014

DS started showing signs at 19 months by peeing on the potty and pooping on it for my Mom the days she watched him. He's less interested in the last month, so we aren't pushing it. I don't know if it's because we are slacking off a bit on asking him or just following his lead, but my thought is that I don't want to push him into it, just to have him regress when the baby is born.

IrishHoney123 · July 2014

Potty training is hard if you do it too soon! You've gotten some good advice, but I'd like to clarify that when they are really ready you won't need rewards or need to ask them to go all of the time. My grandma used to say "who's really training who?"

SusieBW · July 2014

theresat858 said:

She figured out last night that asking for the potty can be a bedtime delay tactic. So that'll be fun...

And also a tactic to get up and stroll around at restaurants. DD must see the bathroom at every single public place we go. It's exhausting.
When she is bored in a store while we're all out running errands (like if DH and I are talking about something and not paying her enough attention), she pipes up with "I have to go potty!" so that someone will pay attention to her and she'll have something to do. Good times.

ashie0610 · July 2014

Liss1481 said:

DS is about 99% potty-trained during the day. We read the "No Cry Potty Training Solution," but that was the only book we really looked at. There's a quiz in the book to help determine if now is a good time (although your son definitely sounds like he's ready!)

We tried pull-ups based on some advice but they just did not work for DS. He treated them just like his diapers. We ended up taking a few days and doing underwear only or naked time, having him sit on the potty about every hour. We also did a reward (mini marshmallow and mini M&M) if he used the potty. We had some accidents during that time, but it's what worked the best for us.

I was a little worried about weaning him off the reward system, but honestly he just kind of stopped asking for them. He probably only asks now once or twice a week.

Good luck!

I found the quiz online! Posting it for others in the same boat. I took it... looks like we are indeed ready. Hold me, I'm scared!

https://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/links/PantleyNoCryBooklet.pdf

Seriously, thank you so much for all the advice. You are all making me feel like this could be way more manageable than I was expecting.

MorganWP · July 2014

So, we are doing this VERY early. Half unintentional and half not. We noticed that DD made a very distinct face when pooping so at 9 months, my SO held her over the toilet and sure enough she pooped. We continued to do it every time we saw the face and she pooped every time. As she got older and could understand us better, we put her on every so often, explaining that we use the potty and not diapers. Before and after naps, meals etc. And we make a big deal out of it every time she does anything. If she does nothing we say "Oh well. We'll try again later" Its gotten to the point now where she wakes up dry from her naps and will let us know when she has to go by crawling to the toilet or 'yes' or 'no' when we ask.

I know our story is very unique. But I would do like PPs mentioned and keep him in underwear and just ask or put him on every so often. He'll get it eventually if he's ready.

Arctic_Seal · July 2014

Just relax through it. You are already used to cleaning up poo, you just might have to clean it out of underwear now. I did do cloth diapers too so to me it wasn't any more laundry.

But, anyway, with my daughter we started about 18 months and she has been day potty trained since about 28 months or before. She is not night trained yet and we haven't really tried to night train her.

MrMrsandBaby · July 2014

I didn't read every response yet so sorry if this is a duplicate. I was against pull-ups but DD is still getting the hang of pulling pants on and off so when we start PTing we will use pullups without pants/shorts so she gets the mechanics of taking clothes off to go. Right now she is close but still not quite there so I hope this helps her learn to pull pants/underwear down.

I also don't like the every hour reminder because it feels more like training the parents not the child. But that said, we haven't started yet (hopefully before this LO gets here we will be done) so I don't know. Also, won't be doing the three day method. No way I'm going to be stuck inside for an entire three days (well, two days but still)!

MorganWP · July 2014

Also. For those who plan to do the three day method. Im a product of it and it seems to work but it was mostly unintentional/not a preplanned thing. My mom sent me to visit my auntie and uncle for a weekend and she didnt pack enough diapers. Instead of buying more diapers my auntie and uncle just decided to potty train me. I think I was about 18 months/2 so I was probably ready. But it worked.

DanielleB27 · July 2014

We're working on training our just 2 year old. We tried it about 3 months ago, but she wasn't ready yet. After about a week of trying, we just backed off and told her that she had to "get bigger first." We started again in the last week, and things are going much better this time. My husband is the one that does most of it as he is a SAHD, but he puts her in underwear for 1-2 hours in the morning, and after naptime in the afternoon if time allows. We're going to start expanding the timeframe as she seems to be getting it.

I haven't seen this mentioned, so I wanted to say too that if when our new LOs get here our older kids regress from being potty trained, that is totally normal. If they see you spending all this time changing the LO diapers, they want the attention again and may ask to go back in diapers too. It shouldn't last for long, and is totally normal!

Good luck!

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