My cousin stole my baby name!!

GinnyJ2012 · July 2014

Ok so not exactly. My cousins baby is due in September and they just announced they are naming him Nathaniel. DH and I can't decide on a name and won't announce it until after he's born either way. But Nathaniel is my favorite name, DH not so much. Is it bad if we choose this as our name too? What are y'all's thoughts on our name list? Middle name will likely be James, but we are not set on that.

Asher
Nathaniel
Graham
Tristan
Garrett
Emmett
Ronan
Micah
Bryce

MandMLeona · July 2014

Ronan is my favorite from your list.

I'm tempted to say I'd still use Nathaniel, but that might be a lie. I have a cousin expecting twins the same time as me and I wouldn't commit to a name until I knew they weren't using some form of it...of course my name is a form of my cousin's name...so maybe that's a special snowflake. I'm not sure.

Sorry, no real help.

Jenrileysmom · July 2014

I wouldn't use it. My family is all very close and having 2 babies born within a month of each other with the same name would just be weird and I think the MTB and the rest of her immediate family would be mad since she already announced it. Just my 2 cents.

rockyrollgirl · July 2014

I like Garrett.

Jennicillin · July 2014

Jenrileysmom said:

I wouldn't use it. My family is all very close and having 2 babies born within a month of each other with the same name would just be weird and I think the MTB and the rest of her immediate family would be mad since she already announced it. Just my 2 cents.

This. She already announced it, you hadn't yet. So she has dibs, even if you are due first.

I still get your frustration and it totally sucks, I'm sorry! I like a lot of the other names on your list too! If James is the middle name, I think Garrett would be my favorite.

Raclla · July 2014

I think it depends on how close you guys are.
Will you see them often?
Or only holidays?
Do you talk to this cousin monthly/weekly?

rstarrlemaitre · July 2014

If Nathaniel is your favorite, then I would still use it. However, from your list I love Asher, Garrett, and Ronan

GinnyJ2012 · July 2014

We aren't very close at all, though we get along just fine. Does it matter that my cousin is the dad to be, not mom? We hardly see each other. Like once every few years, but he as his wife now live near my parents, and with boys so close in age we may see more of them during visits. (My parents are 7 hours away)

GinnyJ2012 · July 2014

Also we aren't set on this list, so if you have suggestions of similar style names or middle names I'd love to hear them!

SarahLee&Joe · July 2014

I love the name Asher! Maybe you can use Nathaniel as a middle name? I think you guys should do whatever makes you happy.

Raclla · July 2014

Based on the distance, I'd use the name.

jenniferurs · July 2014

potterowl said:
No one owns nAmes. Use what you want

This. Doesn't matter if they announced first, they don't have "dibs." I'd still use it if it's your favorite (it's my favorite off of that list as well).

nycAug2014 · July 2014

If you weren't set on the name, move on. Sounds like your H isn't set on it and now he will have a cousin with the same name? Or you will have a cousin that you may piss off for yearsss to come. I don't think it's worth it considering you had not finalized this as THE name and like you said, you'll probably become much closer now that you'll have kids so close in age.

nthomas1014 · July 2014

I don't think it matters that your cousin is the father to be at all. Personally I wouldn't use it. Maybe I'm just name sensitive but I'd be irritated if I was your cousin and you ended up naming your baby the name we announced to use for ours. If the situation was reversed would you be annoyed? Maybe you should call or email your cousin if you do end up choosing Nathaniel before the baby makes his arrival so it's not much of a shock when they see it in the birth announcement. I love the name Garrett!

BlueRidgeMama · July 2014

If they are definitely using it, I would not.

tamarar5 · July 2014

I was worried about this for a minute too as my top two names were also contenders for my cousin. Lucky for me, they chose something else.

But you have several awesome other choices that aren't as popular as Nathanial. If you really love it and still want to use it, what about as a middle name instead?

GinnyJ2012 · July 2014

PunkieNight said:
My favorites are Asher, Ronan, and Micah.

Random question, are you a fan of the Anita Blake series? The first thing that struck me on the list is that a lot of those names are characters from the books. I enjoy them, if you couldn't tell

Yes I am! That's where I first heard the name Asher. Nathaniel and Micah were favorites before.

ungraceful13 · July 2014

I wouldn't use one of my cousin's children's names but we are super super close. I would possibly use one of DH's cousins' childrens' names bc we are not very close to them. I like Emmett and Micah on your list.

GinnyJ2012 · July 2014

funnibunni80 said:
I'd be upset if my brother (or sister) named their baby the name I chose and announced. Just my opinion. Nathaniel is my favorite too, but since your DH isn't a fan, I think it's a moot issue.

If it was my brother or my SIL having the baby I wouldn't consider it, but the dad to be is my cousin. His mom is my moms younger sister and we are not close with the family.

Since DH still isn't a fan we probably won't use it, but it makes me sad to take it off the table.

Valancyy · July 2014

Nathaniel is my favorite...but it's my oldest's name, so I'm partial. I've loved the name since I was a kid.

If you both (you and your DH) were set on it as a name I'd use it anyway, given that you aren't that close with your cousin. But, I'd probably tell him first. However, since your husband doesn't love the name anyway...I'd be more likely to pick another name.

Cousins can really go either way, as PP's have said. My H has so many cousins, some he never sees, some he sees a lot. So, it really depends on the family dynamic.

Weezy2012 · July 2014

As many other posters have said, people do NOT own names. If Nathaniel is the name you love, you should use it. Remember, it's not like you are just naming a turtle here or something. You're naming a child that will live a VEERRRRY long life and become their own unique person. In elementary school, there were 4 Courtney's in my grade that were all best friends....somehow life went on.

In regards to the cousin, if it were my family i'd follow the previous suggestion of contacting the cousin. I'm very close with my cousins and I'd want to explain our decision for the name and what was/was not intended. I wouldn't want my cousin to hear it from another relative who is trying to gossip or start some drama. I would expect the same courtesy from them. I actually have two cousins having their first kids this year (my first, too) and it's a very exciting time. I would think that my cousins would be supportive and not judgmental. You might have some initial pushback from family members but people will get over it.

jarethinafrock · July 2014

I don't think I'd be too concerned about what my cousin was naming his child, especially if you are not too terribly close. If it's a sibling, that's a different story. My sister just had her second girl and the name she picked for her first was one that my husband and I had been talking about naming our daughter for years and years. The name she picked for her second was definitely up on my girl name list. We are still frantically trying to come up with a girl name thanks to her.

tabaskoa · July 2014

Personally, I would not use Nathaniel. Not because I think the cousin now "owns" the baby name, but because I would not want my child to have the same name as a 2nd cousin...even if you are not particularly close. But I think that's a totally personal decision.

nyagoc · July 2014

tabaskoa, the cousin now "owns" the name. On your list, I like Asher and Bryce the best. I am a teacher and I've had a Garrett, a Tristan, and a Nathaniel. They were all AWFUL...but that's just my experience with those names.

shevaCC · July 2014

If I had announced the name of my soon-to-born child and then a cousin named their kid the same thing I would be upset. So i wouldn't do that to them. Close or not I'd avoid the family drama. Also, drama aside it might confuse people down the road wondering who grandma is bragging about, for example, if the cousins have the same name.

I think with your DH on the fence you can find a name you both love.

workmm01 · July 2014

I like Graham, Micah and Bryce. As a pp said you could use Nathaniel as the middle name.

dogperson11 · July 2014

funnibunni80 said:
I'd be upset if my brother (or sister) named their baby the name I chose and announced. Just my opinion. Nathaniel is my favorite too, but since your DH isn't a fan, I think it's a moot issue.

This. I would think they would feel you stole their name, not the other way around. Garrett was our chosen boy name, so that's my vote.

herecomesthesun · July 2014

I say use the name. Your cousin isn't that close to you anyway and it's a great name. If you like it that much and your H comes around. No reason not to use it.

GinnyJ2012 · July 2014

shevaCC said:
If I had announced the name of my soon-to-born child and then a cousin named their kid the same thing I would be upset. So i wouldn't do that to them. Close or not I'd avoid the family drama. Also, drama aside it might confuse people down the road wondering who grandma is bragging about, for example, if the cousins have the same name.

I think with your DH on the fence you can find a name you both love.

I hadn't considered the Great Grandmother who is she talking about situation, but it doesn't apply to us. Both our common grandparents have passed away when we were children.

GinnyJ2012 · July 2014

I think using it as a middle name is a good compromise, and if we do I will definitely message them about it before hand. We don't announce the baby's name before he's born, but I don't want to cause drama.

I'm really happy y'all like our name list though! I was stressing about it since its our second boy it seems harder to choose this time around.