Article: Mommy Police

numbersgirl08 · July 2014

https://www.bloombergview.com/articles/2014-07-16/mommy-police-with-real-handcuffs

Discuss!

numbersgirl08 · July 2014

kdc2007 said:

steamboat123 said:

I totally take DD into the woods and have her hike out. Honestly people need to unclench. There is a big difference between neglect and giving kids freedom. I was a very responsible child and started staying home by myself at 8 or 9 when I was sick. I also hung out in the afternoon for a few hours everyday. My sister was a bit more of a wild child and wasn't left alone till she was older. I fully intend to let DD stay at home by herself at 9 for a bit IF she can handle the responsibility. Now without knowing all the details I can't say having a 9 year old in the park all day is a good or bad idea, but I think arresting mom is just a bad idea.

lol, this reminds me of the HIMYM episode where Robin's dad did this to her.

Awesome. Love the reference

kimberly_ann81 · July 2014

I was left at home with my sister and brother all summer long by the time I was 11 or 12. My good friend left her 8 going on 9 home for about a hour or two the other day while she ran errands. I have not problem with that either. I let Sweet Pea play in the back yard, it's fenced in, while I'm in the house working on things. He knows the rule and stays in the yard or will come and asks to go play at the neighbors. Parents need to relax as does society.

nikel13 · July 2014

I agree with where PPs are going. I was left alone with my brother at age 9 for a few hours. I was left home alone when sick for 4 hours at a time at that age as well. I babysat infants at 11. Why is it scary to have our children become independent and responsible adults? It has to start somewhere. I will never leave Lily alone anywhere until she is older, but once she hits 8 or so, I will trust my daughter to be able to handle herself until she shows me otherwise.

tiffletons518 · July 2014

Ok, I think that the arresting someone for leaving their 11 year old in the car for a few minutes is in fact insane. But, I also wouldn't let my 8 1/2 year old go to the park by herself either. DD1 will be 9 in February, she is incredibly responsible. She will not be staying home alone anytime soon. Not that she would want to. But, I'm the crazy control freak mom that says she will DEFINITELY be in double digits before I would leave her home alone for ANY period of time. Now, I also have smaller kids which changes things. So, it's not like I can say I'm just leaving my 10 year old at home. I'd also be leaving a 5-6 year old, and a 2-3 year old. Ummm... no. Maybe when she's 10 or 11 and she's sick and I need to take DD2 to school or pick her up, I'd let her stay home for 10 minutes. Maybe. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Which is not today. Thank the Lord.

WasNotWas · July 2014

Ok, here I go...

With the popularity of social media and reality tv we (as a society) feel an entitlement to know what is happening in other people's lives. Our own opinions are important because we think they are and we share them freely because it's so easy to. Privacy is no longer valued and as a result, there is no difference between public and private life.

Between that, the 24-hour media scare tactics that exaggerate dangers (like the instances of abduction), and our extremely litigious society our kids have no hope of exploring the world on their own...sad

WasNotWas · July 2014

@steamboat123

numbersgirl08 · July 2014

nykkolaughs said:

None of my kids will have a babysitter that's under 16 and can't drive. God forbid something bad happens and they need to leave the house. If that makes me overprotective... So be it.

We have a 19 year old that nannies N during the day this summer, but she doesn't have a license. At first it seemed weird but then I started thinking through what she would need a license for -- if there is a medical emergency, I'd prefer she call 911 anyways, rather than driving to the hospital. I know several people in Chicago who have licenses but don't have cars - I'd be fine with them babysitting. I'm not sure what the biggest concern about needing to be able to drive is.

ETA: Also, if you leave a babysitter home with LO, do you always leave a car seat with them so that they can drive LO?

numbersgirl08 · July 2014

nykkolaughs said:

nykkolaughs said:

None of my kids will have a babysitter that's under 16 and can't drive. God forbid something bad happens and they need to leave the house. If that makes me overprotective... So be it.

We have a 19 year old that nannies N during the day this summer, but she doesn't have a license. At first it seemed weird but then I started thinking through what she would need a license for -- if there is a medical emergency, I'd prefer she call 911 anyways, rather than driving to the hospital. I know several people in Chicago who have licenses but don't have cars - I'd be fine with them babysitting. I'm not sure what the biggest concern about needing to be able to drive is.
ETA: Also, if you leave a babysitter home with LO, do you always leave a car seat with them so that they can drive LO?
---------------- We do leave a car seat and show them how to install it. So far the only people that watch Ella have been family and close friends. That's just where my level of comfort is. Being that Ella still nurses full time and won't take bottles, I'd hate to put that pressure on a teenager. I started babysitting at 16, but the youngest I ever watched was 2yo. It wasn't till I was 21 that I nannied an infant. That seems to be the norm down here.

Fair enough - everyone can definitely do what they feel comfortable with. I also live in the south (well, part of the time, but that's home for me), but the norm for people I know doesn't seem to be the same as yours.

We also don't really have infants anymore - my comfort level has changed a lot at her age now vs. what it was when she was even smaller. At that time we had an older nanny with more experience with young infants, although she didn't have a car with her either because we were in Chicago then and not everyone has a car.

numbersgirl08 · July 2014

@nykkolaughs , also, just curious (not trying to combative at all - just trying to make sure I'm not overlooking something!), but what are the reasons for wanting them to drive and leaving them a car seat? What situations are you concerned about happening that will require them to drive LO somewhere?

JessicaKS · July 2014

I started babysitting in the sixth grade. I also started staying home sick by myself in the sixth grade. I also started riding my bike to school in fifth grade. My mom wouldn't allow me to babysit my younger brother, not because she didn't trust me, but because she didn't trust him. People were much less nervous back then.

I am also of the mindset that a babysitter should call 911 versus driving my DD to the hospital.

numbersgirl08 · July 2014

@nykkolaughs I definitely don't live that close to a hospital! Was that where you delivered? That'd be convenient

MorganWP · July 2014

This is another one of those things where I think it totally depends on the parents and how they were raised.

I walked to and from school starting at 10 and I was by myself for two hours until my gramma got home from work. In middle school, at 11, I had to take public transit to and from school. I was allowed to go out with friends as long as I called my gramma to let her know where I was and was home at a decent time. I babysat at 12.

I have no problem with raising DD this way.

My SO and his siblings on the other hand got driven or walked to school by his parents or grandparents until he graduated highschool. They literally live across the street from the highschool. His brother, almost 19, gets driven to the stop for the bus that takes him to college (its three blocks away). We've had to stay with him multiple times when SO's parents are away. My SO's mom calls his brother multiple times when he's out 'to check in'. My SO said she did the same thing with him and his sisters.

I cannot imagine living like this or raising DD like this. But SO sees no problem with it.

BC&LM · July 2014

I see absolutely nothing wrong with allowing an 11 year old who asked to stay in the car to do so if you know he/she is mature and responsible enough. I find that one absurd and can't believe the mom was charged.

The park one is much more of a grey area to me. I don't think someone should be dropping his/her kid off at a park for hours at a time when they are at work like the woman did in that article. But if you have a neighborhood park and your kid wants to bicycle over there for an hour or so with a friend while you are at home should that be considered wrong?

kelseypie · July 2014

I think my mom left me alone for a fast trip to the store occasionally starting about 10. Around 12, I pretty much stayed home if I didn't want to go run errands or do whatever my parents were doing.

It's crazy to be arresting people for letting 11 year olds stay in the car. Wtf? I can't say I'd let my 9 year old go to the park alone, but I sure don't think it's an offense warranting an arrest.

I think I'm with @nykkolaughs‌ about the babysitter with a car deal though. I mean, say the kiddo breaks his finger, or sprains an ankle, or something else that warrants being seen but is certainly not critical. It seems like way overkill (not to mention a large and unnecessary expense) to call an ambulance. I don't know. Maybe I'll live and learn and toss that out the window, but it's how I feel now.

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