Would you be annoyed by this?

hmd · July 2014

I took DS#3 shopping with me last night, and when we got to check-out, he was still playing with a book. (Let's not get side-tracked arguing over whether it is right to let them play with toys and give them to the cashier at check-out or not.) This doesn't usually happen, and he also doesn't usually make a fuss over things. But he wanted that book. And you know what, I decided to treat him to it. It was $6, and we rarely go out shopping on our own. His big brothers get things more often probably, but it is not like I am buying them stuff all the time. Usually it is bubbles or crayons, etc.

Anyway, in the parking lot, while I am loading my car, one of the ladies who was in line behind me was walking to her car, and she tells me, "Don't give into him all the time" or something like that. I said, "Oh I don't." And it went back and forth a couple times until I could get in the car. She was telling me about leaving the store because her son threw a fit, etc. Of course, he is grown up now. She was probably in her 50s or 60s.

I was kind of annoyed. Maybe if she had something like The Bump, then she could have gone home and written a post about judging me, but she didn't. And I don't think it was any of her business. But it made me think of this Board. So would you have been annoyed?

bumpuser8448316 · July 2014

Yes I would have been annoyed.i also wouldn't have responded to her because I don't owe some stranger in a parking lot an explanation for the choices I make

bumpuser8448316 · July 2014

And regarding the book...isn't the fun part of parenting getting to say "yes" every once in awhile for in other reason than because your kid asked?

hmd · July 2014

QueSyrah said:

And regarding the book...isn't the fun part of parenting getting to say "yes" every once in awhile for in other reason than because your kid asked?

Yes! And as I told the cashier, at least it's a book!

And regarding making conversation, I am way too nice in the moment. Then I seethe about it afterward. : (

dizzycooks · July 2014

It's a book! FFs I'd like to think I'll always be able to say yes to books.

bumpuser8448316 · July 2014

hmd said:

QueSyrah said:

And regarding the book...isn't the fun part of parenting getting to say "yes" every once in awhile for in other reason than because your kid asked?

Yes! And as I told the cashier, at least it's a book!
And regarding making conversation, I am way too nice in the moment. Then I seethe about it afterward. : (

Been there, done that. Learned that I don't owe anyone anything lol. I got into it with a woman about letting DS eat goldfish in the cart when h was 2. He dropped them and as I was picking them up some crotchety old lady lit into me about letting him eat in the cart. I tried to explain I had brought them with me, they keep him occupied, etc but it didn't matter to her. Vented to a friend and she said just smilie and keep moving. Best advice!

ToastieSimons · July 2014

It's a book. A bottle of vodka I might have side eyed. But seriously. Every once in a while giving your kid something just because they want it is what makes dealing with all the "no's" worth it.

Aussie45 · July 2014

I used to be pretty nice and try to keep the peace all the time, now not so much. If someone actually came up to me and said something like that, I'd tell them to gtfo and leave me alone. I don't have to tell any strangers my reasoning for buying my child a toy.

SallyAnneS · July 2014

Yes that would have annoyed me! People need to mind there own business. I would have responded like you did though because Im not good at standing up for myself or Ds even when i should. Glad you had a fun outing other then that cranky lady.

magentawarped · July 2014

Even if it was a toy, who freaking cares? Not my circus, not my monkeys. You buying your kid a toy has exactly zero effect on my life. I'd be annoyed if some old biddy felt the need to butt in on my parenting. Her adult child may be a douchebag, I don't know.

meglew · July 2014

I am also on team "she should mind her own business". And I too look at books differently than other toys/candy/treats. I want to encourage a love of books and reading and if my child feels that getting a book is exciting/cool/a great treat, then I have done my job as a parent.

raraavis28 · July 2014

I can't see anyone NOT being annoyed by that.....what a busy-body! Sorry you had to deal w/ that OP....I think if something like that happened to me I'd probably just stand there too shocked to answer.....and then would come up w/ a brilliant response later of course....

trizzie · July 2014

Yes, I would be annoyed by that.

Beth.1212 · July 2014

Yes, I would have been very annoyed. I think she would have gotten a very cold/deadpan "Thanks for your concern. Excuse me." followed by me turning away and taking care of my stuff and ignoring her.

Aussie45 · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:

Eh, no it wasn't her business but she was an older lady busy-body. I'd assume she was basing it on the few second she saw you - when it appeared you weren't going to buy the book, he fussed & then you did.

I don't care if it's an older lady or not. Respecting your elders is something I was always taught, and I always try to be polite, hold doors open, etc. The same rules should apply to them, but vice versa. If you can't say something nice, then keep your damn mouth shut (not you, the general you).

Aussie45 · July 2014

Eh, I know I have a problem with that. Even if it is rude, I don't like when people come up to others just to say something negative to them. If I wanted their parenting advice, I'd ask. Since I didn't, they should just keep it to themselves.

NicoleWI · July 2014

Heck yes. I'd be super annoyed.

Keeptruckin · July 2014

That lady was a busybody. She would side eye me all the time lol, if we see something interesting and it's in the budget my kid gets it. Don't let it get to you.

fancynewbeesly · July 2014

I always say yes to books and fruit & vegetables

I would have been annoyed as well.

bumpuser924057 · July 2014

I would have been very, very annoyed. It reminds me a little of the time I was telling a very whiny DS that he couldn't have an apple right that moment at the grocery store because we had apples at home (and he was 18 months old with not very many teeth and I had zero desire to deal with him gnawing on a whole, raw, unwashed apple in a grocery cart) and this old biddy thought I was being a terrible mother, bought him an apple, and came over and handed it to him because "she just didn't want to see him go without it." Old people seriously need to learn to mind their own damn business and stop trying to parent everyone else's kids.

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