I find myself thinking the things you're not supposed say out loud..."If I only had one, this would be SO much easier." Looking at moms of singleton babies with a sense of jealousy and longing for their "easy" life. Listening to their gripes and thinking, "wahhhh!"
Caveat - I know every situation is different and there are high needs singletons. I guess I'm comparing it to my experience with one (which was my first and I was totally overwhelmed) and then two.
So anyway. 6 weeks in, I knew it would be hard, but this shlt is HARD.
Case in point: I've been trying to post this for days. That's about how long it takes to do anything now.
I just wanted to let you know I'm feeling the same way. Of course it's absolutely worth it, but it never ceases to amaze me how frustrated I get with singleton moms.
Oh, sleep when the baby sleeps? Which baby! They don't always nap together. Your kid wakes up only 2 times a night too and you're feeling SO refreshed so why aren't I? Great, except it still takes me double the time since I have two to feed.
I'm 3.5 months in, and some days it's still incredibly hard (mostly nights) but as they start to get more alert and interactive, you do start enjoying it more. Doesn't make it any less hard, but the benefits start showing more too!
Good luck I try to remember that this time will be so short in the long run.
I don't have very high expectations for myself for when the babies arrive. I hope that will help. I fully expect to be stuck on the couch all day with babies on my boobs and be tired as hell. It will probably be even harder than that.
Hang in there!
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
I always heard it gets incrementally better in 3mo increments and that's really true. Those first few months are chaos and if you can make it through them, you can do anything.
My big one was a very challenging toddler who slept like crap and the twins, together, are leaps and bounds easier than he ever was. He's just over 4yo now and still doesn't STTN with regularity. He's a constant ball of energy and while he's such a sweet kid, he's not for the faint of heart.
One of the twins is his mini-me and the other one, I have no idea where he came from, haha. Such a chill little kid.
There is going to be a point later on when it's easier to have multiples rather than two of different ages. (The caveat being I don't have an older child like you do.)
I wrote this when the boys were 2, and it's only become more true over the years. (Except when we separated them in school.)
Thanks guys! I think for the most part I'm handling things pretty dang well so far, logistically and emotionally. I've taken a fairly zen like attitude around the whole thing. Just gotta bitch sometimes, ya know.
Certain days I realize I haven't moved from one spot. And all I want to do is a single load of laundry or clear the bottles out of the sink, but it's absolutely impossible. In general I can deal with the simultaneous crying, the constant feedings and diaper changes, pumping with babies in both arms, etc. I think the inability to accomplish anything else, even the tiniest task, has been a bit shocking. At least with one I could attempt to get something done one handed.
I've had to go poop for the last couple of hours but I can't step away! Haha... TMI.
It is hard, but it does get better. I have an older DD (she was 4 when the twins were born) and she's starting to enjoy them now that they are active. She has always been interested in them, but I can ask her to play with them or just watch them so I can put laundry in, get dressed, cook dinner, etc. I think you'll find that your older DS will be helpful when their a bit older. I also would turn on a movie and lay on the couch while the twins slept and my DD watched it. I knew she wouldn't leave the room and I could get a quick 20 min nap in. It's all about survival in the begninng.
I agree 100%. And now at almost 6 weeks I want to get a nighttime routine started ( bath Jammie's, nurse, bed) like I did with my other 2 much earlier and my DH IS LIKE " I don't think they're ready". Um, they fall asleep downstairs, they can certainly fall asleep in their pack n play in or room...and I need this for MY SANITY!
I thought the same thing (internally) for the first couple of months, but 3 1/2 months in it's getting MUCH easier - or I'm just used to how hard it is! Hang in there, MoMma!
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I totally felt that way you did. The twins were our first so we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into so I think it made things a little more difficult to figure out what to do and then to deal with TWO. It honestly does get better. Mine are about 6 months now and now I can think back to the beginning and think ...wow that was hard. No one or anything can prepare you for twins. Once their start doing things on their own, it gets a lot better and they love it too.
Hang in there....but also enjoy it...it flies by.
BFP#1 • 11/15/12 ectopic-too early to have EDD • MTX 11/30/12 BFP#2 • 6/30/13 EDD 3/9/14...TWINS!! Baby A (BOY)-167 HB • Baby B (GIRL)-174 HB January 31, 2014 • Dominic Jayden 4lbs. 8oz. • Ciara Aliyah 3lbs. 11oz. at 34w5d
Re: Ok, I get it now
Age: 35 TTC since 2005, MFI & DOR
IVF #1 Sep '11 - canceled poor response
IVF #2 Nov '11 8R/8M/4F 3dt x2 - chemical
IVF #3 April '12 11R/6M/4F 3dt x2 - m/c
FET #1 Aug 2012 3dt x2 - BFN
**new RE**
IVF #4 Jan '13 BFN 11R/6M/6F 5dt x2 - BFN
IVF #5 July '13 16R/10M/10F 5dt x2 + 1 frostie
9dp5dt Beta 1 = 344!! 16dp5dt. Beta 2 = 4822 7wk u/s= 2 heartbeats!
Twin girls! 3/6/14
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
I always heard it gets incrementally better in 3mo increments and that's really true. Those first few months are chaos and if you can make it through them, you can do anything.
My big one was a very challenging toddler who slept like crap and the twins, together, are leaps and bounds easier than he ever was. He's just over 4yo now and still doesn't STTN with regularity. He's a constant ball of energy and while he's such a sweet kid, he's not for the faint of heart.
One of the twins is his mini-me and the other one, I have no idea where he came from, haha. Such a chill little kid.
Anyway, it does get easier. 3 months at a time.
I wrote this when the boys were 2, and it's only become more true over the years. (Except when we separated them in school.)
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
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Certain days I realize I haven't moved from one spot. And all I want to do is a single load of laundry or clear the bottles out of the sink, but it's absolutely impossible. In general I can deal with the simultaneous crying, the constant feedings and diaper changes, pumping with babies in both arms, etc. I think the inability to accomplish anything else, even the tiniest task, has been a bit shocking. At least with one I could attempt to get something done one handed.
I've had to go poop for the last couple of hours but I can't step away! Haha... TMI.
Baby Boy #1 born 1/15/2010
Babies #2 & #3 arriving Spring 2014 (EDD June 18)
8/15 FET #1 - transferred 1 thawed embryo - Pregnant with Baby C, it's a girl! Due April 2016.
It honestly does get better. Mine are about 6 months now and now I can think back to the beginning and think ...wow that was hard. No one or anything can prepare you for twins.
Once their start doing things on their own, it gets a lot better and they love it too.
Hang in there....but also enjoy it...it flies by.
BFP#2 • 6/30/13 EDD 3/9/14...TWINS!! Baby A (BOY)-167 HB • Baby B (GIRL)-174 HB
January 31, 2014 • Dominic Jayden 4lbs. 8oz. • Ciara Aliyah 3lbs. 11oz. at 34w5d