UO? — The Bump
April 2013 Moms

UO?

I really racked my brains for this one... ;-) Nursing tanks are pointless. I can just as easily pull my shirt up instead, and it hangs down and covers more than a nursing tank would.
Amanda

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Re: UO?

  • saxchloe said:
    I really racked my brains for this one... ;-) Nursing tanks are pointless. I can just as easily pull my shirt up instead, and it hangs down and covers more than a nursing tank would.
    No way! My stomach was always exposed when I would breast feed without a nursing tank or undershirt on underneath!

    True... I guess I would rather show more of my stomach than more of my boob!
    Amanda

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  • saxchloe said:

    I really racked my brains for this one... ;-) Nursing tanks are pointless. I can just as easily pull my shirt up instead, and it hangs down and covers more than a nursing tank would.

    No way! My stomach was always exposed when I would breast feed without a nursing tank or undershirt on underneath!



    True... I guess I would rather show more of my stomach than more of my boob!

    Um not when you're a 42H.
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  • All the huff post articles and other blogs and crap about motherhood, controversy over breastfeeding, "you don't get it cuz you don't have kids", drive me up the wall. I honestly think this helps create, not solve, the problem. It makes me embarrassed as a parent to read that stuff and think that people associate me with that attitude towards non parents.
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  • JSS1002 said:
    All the huff post articles and other blogs and crap about motherhood, controversy over breastfeeding, "you don't get it cuz you don't have kids", drive me up the wall. I honestly think this helps create, not solve, the problem. It makes me embarrassed as a parent to read that stuff and think that people associate me with that attitude towards non parents.
    Yup. I've also seen a ton of those kinds of blog posts/articles lately about nursing with/without a cover. Who gives a shit. If you want to nurse with a cover...great. If you don't want to nurse without a cover...great. Some babies hate covers. Some babies love covers. Just STFU already and get off the sanctimommy BS.
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  • ^ I meant if you don't want to nurse with a cover. Words are tough today, and it won't let me edit.
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    tondraluv
  • jthree said:

    This is a s/o of something we were talking about on FB... I sometimes felt judged and side-eyed that I didn't WANT to NIP.  I much preferred being in the car or in a room somewhere by myself.  And I felt like the pro-NIP think that everyone should do it and love it and not be uncomfortable, and like I was doing something wrong by not wanting to.  I have no issue with other people doing it, but I don't think that everyone has to do it either.  Do what you want.

    Preach it girl! I did NIP (don't really have to anymore since Rhys is only nursing 2 or 3 times a day now), but he was 6 months old the first time I felt comfortable enough to do it in public. So I totally understand that some people don't want to/don't feel comfortable. For me it was just more of a convenience thing, but I could care less what everyone else is doing
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  • JSS1002 said:


    saxchloe said:

    I really racked my brains for this one... ;-) Nursing tanks are pointless. I can just as easily pull my shirt up instead, and it hangs down and covers more than a nursing tank would.

    No way! My stomach was always exposed when I would breast feed without a nursing tank or undershirt on underneath!



    True... I guess I would rather show more of my stomach than more of my boob!
    Um not when you're a 42H.

    ? I don't get it. You would rather show boob? You would rather show stomach? I'm confused.
    Amanda

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  • JSS1002 said:


    saxchloe said:

    I really racked my brains for this one... ;-) Nursing tanks are pointless. I can just as easily pull my shirt up instead, and it hangs down and covers more than a nursing tank would.

    No way! My stomach was always exposed when I would breast feed without a nursing tank or undershirt on underneath!



    True... I guess I would rather show more of my stomach than more of my boob!
    Um not when you're a 42H.
    ? I don't get it. You would rather show boob? You would rather show stomach? I'm confused.

    Sorry -- nursing tanks not pointless when you're a 42h
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  • jthree said:

    This is a s/o of something we were talking about on FB... I sometimes felt judged and side-eyed that I didn't WANT to NIP.  I much preferred being in the car or in a room somewhere by myself.  And I felt like the pro-NIP think that everyone should do it and love it and not be uncomfortable, and like I was doing something wrong by not wanting to.  I have no issue with other people doing it, but I don't think that everyone has to do it either.  Do what you want.

    Ditto. Totally fine with a bathroom if it came to that (though it never did for me). Not okay with being TOLD to do that however.
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  • I hate when women use NIP as an excuse. Like that lady that got kicked out of the Brad Paisley concert last week. She claimed it was because she was NIP when in reality it was because she brought a newborn to a loud concert. Who does that?!

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  • My UO is the opposite of Molly's I think too many parents don't care enough about their children's education and leave way too much up to the school and teachers.

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  • Kate_CKate_C
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    Erin10408 said:

    If the world somewhat back-tracked to the 1950's era of housewives, being able to live on one income, women staying at home, etc...I'd probably be ok with it. 

    (says the college educated, full time employed mom who also mows the lawn and does lots of the "man" chores now that my husband travels for work)

     

    X_X  Fully expect flaming for this.
    If that works for you, awesome.  Wouldn't work for me.  So if you want to suggest I stay home solely because I am equipped with a vagina, then we have an issue.  But do whatever works for your family.


    And since my OB was a woman and the best doctor ever, it would make me sad if she wasn't practicing medicine because she stayed home full time.    
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  • Erin10408 said:

    If the world somewhat back-tracked to the 1950's era of housewives, being able to live on one income, women staying at home, etc...I'd probably be ok with it. 

    (says the college educated, full time employed mom who also mows the lawn and does lots of the "man" chores now that my husband travels for work)

     

    X_X  Fully expect flaming for this.
    Not going to lie, I have thought this on many occasions as well. 

    My H's brother and wife are very well off. She is a SAHM (2 kids - 1yo, 3yo), has a cleaner come once a week, a nanny come a few times a week AND the 3yo is in part time prek 2-3 days a week and they eat out/take out atleast 5 days a week. Now on one hand I look at it and say "well if I had the money I would probably do that too" but on the other hand I have always had the mindset that if I were a SAHM that I would keep up with the house, cook dinner etc bc I view that as "part of my job" @Erin10408‌ atleast we will get flamed together
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  • Kate_C said:
    Erin10408 said:

    If the world somewhat back-tracked to the 1950's era of housewives, being able to live on one income, women staying at home, etc...I'd probably be ok with it. 

    (says the college educated, full time employed mom who also mows the lawn and does lots of the "man" chores now that my husband travels for work)

     

    X_X  Fully expect flaming for this.
    If that works for you, awesome.  Wouldn't work for me.  So if you want to suggest I stay home solely because I am equipped with a vagina, then we have an issue.  But do whatever works for your family.


    And since my OB was a woman and the best doctor ever, it would make me sad if she wasn't practicing medicine because she stayed home full time.    
    No way...not what I'm suggesting at all. I don't think women SHOULD stay home. I just think it would be nice if it was more of an option these days.
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  • Erin10408 said:

    If the world somewhat back-tracked to the 1950's era of housewives, being able to live on one income, women staying at home, etc...I'd probably be ok with it. 

    (says the college educated, full time employed mom who also mows the lawn and does lots of the "man" chores now that my husband travels for work)

     

    X_X  Fully expect flaming for this.
    Not going to lie, I have thought this on many occasions as well. 

    My H's brother and wife are very well off. She is a SAHM (2 kids - 1yo, 3yo), has a cleaner come once a week, a nanny come a few times a week AND the 3yo is in part time prek 2-3 days a week and they eat out/take out atleast 5 days a week. Now on one hand I look at it and say "well if I had the money I would probably do that too" but on the other hand I have always had the mindset that if I were a SAHM that I would keep up with the house, cook dinner etc bc I view that as "part of my job" @Erin10408‌ atleast we will get flamed together

    I expect to be torn a new one, @ceamac0127. Especially with how many professional and hardworking women there are on this board.

    I was just thinking the other day, as I was trying to get 5647393456 things done after Claire went to bed..."You know...being a 50's housewife doesn't sound so bad right now".

    I think I'm just overwhelmed at the moment. All I want is to stay home, make a nice meal, have my husband breeze through the door at 5pm, eat dinner as a family, and spend time together. Right now my husband is gone Monday-Friday, I work/take care of Claire and the house/yard all week, and get two days to try and jam as much family/friend time in as I can.

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  • Kate_CKate_C
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    Erin10408 said:
    Erin10408 said:

    If the world somewhat back-tracked to the 1950's era of housewives, being able to live on one income, women staying at home, etc...I'd probably be ok with it. 

    (says the college educated, full time employed mom who also mows the lawn and does lots of the "man" chores now that my husband travels for work)

     

    X_X  Fully expect flaming for this.
    Not going to lie, I have thought this on many occasions as well. 

    My H's brother and wife are very well off. She is a SAHM (2 kids - 1yo, 3yo), has a cleaner come once a week, a nanny come a few times a week AND the 3yo is in part time prek 2-3 days a week and they eat out/take out atleast 5 days a week. Now on one hand I look at it and say "well if I had the money I would probably do that too" but on the other hand I have always had the mindset that if I were a SAHM that I would keep up with the house, cook dinner etc bc I view that as "part of my job" @Erin10408‌ atleast we will get flamed together

    I expect to be torn a new one, @ceamac0127. Especially with how many professional and hardworking women there are on this board.

    I was just thinking the other day, as I was trying to get 5647393456 things done after Claire went to bed..."You know...being a 50's housewife doesn't sound so bad right now".

    I think I'm just overwhelmed at the moment. All I want is to stay home, make a nice meal, have my husband breeze through the door at 5pm, eat dinner as a family, and spend time together. Right now my husband is gone Monday-Friday, I work/take care of Claire and the house/yard all week, and get two days to try and jam as much family/friend time in as I can.

    I guess my UO is I don't have any clue why you would expect to be "torn a new one" by any of the professional women (or any women at all) on the board for thinking you'd like a SAH lifestyle better than what you're doing now...  Women's lib is all about choice, not about having a one size fits all approach to life.

    And I do agree it would be nice if everyone had the ability to live comfortably off one income, just for security purposes in case one spouse loses a job, divorce, etc.  It is much harder to do that today than it was 40+ years ago. 
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  • Kate_C said:
    Erin10408 said:
    Erin10408 said:

    If the world somewhat back-tracked to the 1950's era of housewives, being able to live on one income, women staying at home, etc...I'd probably be ok with it. 

    (says the college educated, full time employed mom who also mows the lawn and does lots of the "man" chores now that my husband travels for work)

     

    X_X  Fully expect flaming for this.
    Not going to lie, I have thought this on many occasions as well. 

    My H's brother and wife are very well off. She is a SAHM (2 kids - 1yo, 3yo), has a cleaner come once a week, a nanny come a few times a week AND the 3yo is in part time prek 2-3 days a week and they eat out/take out atleast 5 days a week. Now on one hand I look at it and say "well if I had the money I would probably do that too" but on the other hand I have always had the mindset that if I were a SAHM that I would keep up with the house, cook dinner etc bc I view that as "part of my job" @Erin10408‌ atleast we will get flamed together

    I expect to be torn a new one, @ceamac0127. Especially with how many professional and hardworking women there are on this board.

    I was just thinking the other day, as I was trying to get 5647393456 things done after Claire went to bed..."You know...being a 50's housewife doesn't sound so bad right now".

    I think I'm just overwhelmed at the moment. All I want is to stay home, make a nice meal, have my husband breeze through the door at 5pm, eat dinner as a family, and spend time together. Right now my husband is gone Monday-Friday, I work/take care of Claire and the house/yard all week, and get two days to try and jam as much family/friend time in as I can.

    I guess my UO is I don't have any clue why you would expect to be "torn a new one" by any of the professional women (or any women at all) on the board for thinking you'd like a SAH lifestyle better than what you're doing now...  Women's lib is all about choice, not about having a one size fits all approach to life.

    And I do agree it would be nice if everyone had the ability to live comfortably off one income, just for security purposes in case one spouse loses a job, divorce, etc.  It is much harder to do that today than it was 40+ years ago.
    I wasn't expecting to get torn apart about  SAH part, but the whole 1950's era "Hello dear, here is your cocktail, now let me do your laundry since you worked so hard", housewife mentality, and the not as many women in the workforce, stereotypical gender role stuff.
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  • cece2682 said:
    My UO is the opposite of Molly's I think too many parents don't care enough about their children's education and leave way too much up to the school and teachers.
    That isn't really the opposite of my UO. Not caring about the caliber of the school is very different than not caring about their education. 

    ETA: If anything, the reason I don't care about getting them into the "best" school around is that I know we will take on the responsibility of ensuring they get a great education even if that means going above and beyond whatever is happening at school. 
    This doesn't make much sense to me because the caliber of the school directly relates to the quality of the education. I guess it depends on what you consider to be "decent" though.
    This is pretty much what I meant but I thought it sounded rude so I didn't write it lol. 

    But Molly not sure about where you live but here in Georgia there are F elementary schools. I am so confused as to how an elementary school gets graded as an F, but either way I won't be sending my child there. It is extremely important to me that Ethan gets a good education and is in a school where he isn't just a number and where the parents, teachers and admin all care about what is going on. So for me that means researching, paying for and giving him the best education we can afford. Now if we lived somewhere else where the public school system was better then I would by all means consider public school but I am not just going to send him to any school and hopes he makes it. 

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  • tondraluv said:
    I hate when women use NIP as an excuse. Like that lady that got kicked out of the Brad Paisley concert last week. She claimed it was because she was NIP when in reality it was because she brought a newborn to a loud concert. Who does that?!
    I agree! Some of them are so dumb too, like the woman nursing her 15 month old IN a lazy river. Another one of my faves (not NIP related) but the woman who posted a photo of her laying in bed and nursing her child while the other boob was completely exposed! What was the point of that? That is actually working against normalizing breastfeeding!

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  • Not doing the quote tree on this one:

    My girlfriends and I (all highly educated overachievers professionally) have this conversation all the time... "what were we thinking?!"  Hahaha. Many times we've all longed to stay home and take care of our homes and children. THe thing is, that desire never lasts very long for any of us (well, except for my friends who are actually SAHMs), but it is very satisfying to dream about not HAVING to work, and just getting to play all day.  I'm currently fantastizing about that right now, actually, with being home with J as he's been sick the past few days. That said, I'm actually working from home, so maybe I just really want a WFH job again (I used to work from home full time and I dream of it now!).

    Competitive primary education - so glad I live in MN. Nobody gets keyed up over this.  Pretty much all our schools are good. Our worst schools are better than some schools in other parts of the country.  As far as I know, there's not a lot of competitive schooling going on here.  But as a spin-off, I think that education is incredibly important, but I also think BEING A KID is important, and I feel like kids today ("get off my lawn!") get so over-programmed at such a young age that they don't ever just get to BE -- go out and play night games or sit around playing make-believe, etc... so many classes, sports, teams, lessons, church groups, extra curriculars, etc... Oy.  

    NIP - I like that my big sexy boobs are completely sexualized. ;-)    IT's the one good thing about being overweight. Hahahha.


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  • JSS1002 said:
    Not doing the quote tree on this one:

    My girlfriends and I (all highly educated overachievers professionally) have this conversation all the time... "what were we thinking?!"  Hahaha. Many times we've all longed to stay home and take care of our homes and children. THe thing is, that desire never lasts very long for any of us (well, except for my friends who are actually SAHMs), but it is very satisfying to dream about not HAVING to work, and just getting to play all day.  I'm currently fantastizing about that right now, actually, with being home with J as he's been sick the past few days. That said, I'm actually working from home, so maybe I just really want a WFH job again (I used to work from home full time and I dream of it now!).

    Competitive primary education - so glad I live in MN. Nobody gets keyed up over this.  Pretty much all our schools are good. Our worst schools are better than some schools in other parts of the country.  As far as I know, there's not a lot of competitive schooling going on here.  But as a spin-off, I think that education is incredibly important, but I also think BEING A KID is important, and I feel like kids today ("get off my lawn!") get so over-programmed at such a young age that they don't ever just get to BE -- go out and play night games or sit around playing make-believe, etc... so many classes, sports, teams, lessons, church groups, extra curriculars, etc... Oy.  

    NIP - I like that my big sexy boobs are completely sexualized. ;-)    IT's the one good thing about being overweight. Hahahha.



    yes to all of this!!!
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  • CeCe I dont think the way you worded it was rude. The way I worded it in my head was but you said it in a better way for me. Molly I totally understand what you mean. I still beleive in letting kids be kids.

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  • Research shows that a kid having even one bad or ineffective teacher early on has a big impact on their learning. I'm not going to flip about grades in elementary school, but I will surely be picky about who teaches my kid. And I am a teacher. :)
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  • JSS1002 said:

    Not doing the quote tree on this one:


    My girlfriends and I (all highly educated overachievers professionally) have this conversation all the time... "what were we thinking?!"  Hahaha. Many times we've all longed to stay home and take care of our homes and children. THe thing is, that desire never lasts very long for any of us (well, except for my friends who are actually SAHMs), but it is very satisfying to dream about not HAVING to work, and just getting to play all day.  I'm currently fantastizing about that right now, actually, with being home with J as he's been sick the past few days. That said, I'm actually working from home, so maybe I just really want a WFH job again (I used to work from home full time and I dream of it now!).

    Competitive primary education - so glad I live in MN. Nobody gets keyed up over this.  Pretty much all our schools are good. Our worst schools are better than some schools in other parts of the country.  As far as I know, there's not a lot of competitive schooling going on here.  But as a spin-off, I think that education is incredibly important, but I also think BEING A KID is important, and I feel like kids today ("get off my lawn!") get so over-programmed at such a young age that they don't ever just get to BE -- go out and play night games or sit around playing make-believe, etc... so many classes, sports, teams, lessons, church groups, extra curriculars, etc... Oy.  

    NIP - I like that my big sexy boobs are completely sexualized. ;-)    IT's the one good thing about being overweight. Hahahha.


    This! Except the big sexy boobs part, unfortunately
    :((


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  • In reference to the school convo, coming from a teacher in several schools in reform the MAIN factor of success of a student is the parent. There are some students that are motivated intrinsically but if the parents are into education and value it, the kid is going to value it too. Especially at the elementary and pre school level. So, it's the school/ parent relationship that usually makes the school successful as opposed to under achieving.
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  • love4blove4b
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    After a long hiatus, here's my rundown:

    1. I love nursing bras, never wear nursing tanks. Also, would MUCH rather show my boobs than my stomach.

    2. B still nurses 3-4 times at night and we bedshare, but I've grown to like it. I'd miss the snuggles and since she's right there, neither one of us really misses out on sleep.

    3. I am a full-blown NIP activist - but still sometimes nurse in the car or out of sight. No reason in particular, just my prerogative.

    4. I'm a SAHM, but am in control of all of our money/investments. I trade stocks throughout the day while taking care of B. Maybe I'm the 2014 version of the 1950's housewife - I make most meals, do all the cleaning, do most of the childcare, but also bring in quite a bit of money - or maybe I'm a WAHM? Not sure. Contradictions :)

    5. Schools. They matter, but I don't think getting into the best preschool is something to be obsessed about. That said, we put a deposit in at a Montessori school in Brooklyn WHEN B WAS BORN. Insane. So insane, and now we're moving to CA so it doesn't matter anyway and we don't get the deposit back. If you're worried about getting your kid into the best schools, my advice is to apply when no one else is applying. I went to a hippie-dippie preschool and then a run-of-the-mill Catholic school from K-6th, then transferred into an amazing school for 7-8th (but that school starts in K, so there wasn't as much competition later on). Then I transferred to an unbelievable private girls school for 9-12th (again, the school starts at 7th, so it was easier to get in for 9th grade than it would've been for 7th). Went to a wonderful University in NYC and got into an Ivy League for graduate school. If that's the final goal, there are so, SO many ways to get there and most don't involve being stressed out about preschool.
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    In reference to the school convo, coming from a teacher in several schools in reform the MAIN factor of success of a student is the parent. There are some students that are motivated intrinsically but if the parents are into education and value it, the kid is going to value it too. Especially at the elementary and pre school level. So, it's the school/ parent relationship that usually makes the school successful as opposed to under achieving.

    Ain't that the truth! (Fellow teacher here...)


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  • Aisak said:
    In reference to the school convo, coming from a teacher in several schools in reform the MAIN factor of success of a student is the parent. There are some students that are motivated intrinsically but if the parents are into education and value it, the kid is going to value it too. Especially at the elementary and pre school level. So, it's the school/ parent relationship that usually makes the school successful as opposed to under achieving.
    Ain't that the truth! (Fellow teacher here...)
    From talking to my teacher-friends, this has to be one of the most frustrating parts of your job -- I actually have a friend who left teaching because she couldn't handle the parents!  She said the kids were great...
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