Over spiritual MIL

poppeloppie · July 2014

I'm not sure if she is seeking attention or really just thinks that everyone beliefs her but it's getting pretty annoying. After I had my daughter 2 years ago she prophesied that I would be pregnant within a year, well that didn't happen! We told her yesterday that we are expecting and she loudly proclaimed that she knew God told her and he also told her it's definitely a boy... I mean really? You knew and you even know the sex? Wow so I don't have to go for an ultrasound because apparently you just happen to know everything already. Cherry on the cake she has been telling people about this already

amt0312 · July 2014

You can't change people like this. My MIL is also a bible thumper and it annoys the absolute shit out of me as she literally believes every word of the bible and is always trying to impress people with her biblical knowledge. I've tried being snarky and passively telling her that her fundamental religiousness isn't welcome around me (I'm a "Cafeteria Catholic" lol), but she just smiles and I know she's just thinking in her head that she'll pray for me.

She even once tried to help and convert my atheist brother over facebook (who she met only once in her life btw at my wedding) because she knew he was a lost soul and needed some guidance. My husband flipped his shit when he found out and tore his mom a new one and forbade her from ever talking to my brother.

So my advice? Ignore your MIL. It's most likely all you can do.

agm04 · July 2014

ughhhh. i absolutely dread the baptism conversation - i know both sides of grandparents will want it, and my husband is fine with doing it to appease our families, but i AM NOT. it's not their kid!

SaraJtwo · July 2014

Yea DH's family is really religious and I'm not looking forward to dealing with it once their born. We are both atheist, and I'm not sure they are aware of that, it just isn't something that we discuss at this point. We will just take it as it comes I suppose.

lizjennings81 · July 2014

Oh, that's going to be fun. If it's a boy, the MIL will ask when the bris is (how about never?). No matter what the baby is, my mom will ask when the baptism is (also never). I'll just keep on ignoring them, which I've been doing for a long time now.

Best you can do is stand your ground if there are any religious demands and ignore your MIL's declarations.

jaztastic · July 2014

I grew up in a very spiritual household, and still hold a lot of the values, so I can understand in a way how your MIL is. I dont want to sound like a crazy person or a psychic, but I have had several visions about people, in particular in regards to children that have been very true.

I dont think she meant for you to not go to the doctors or dont follow medical advise, she was simply sharing with you what she received. I would request that she respect you and your H and not share her thoughts with others until you are able to verify things with the doctor and decide to share your news.

mh269650 · July 2014

My MIL is very religious and teaches ccd. We had a JOP for our wedding and she begged us to come to her church so her priest could "bless the marriage." I politely declined but did say we would have the JOP do a very quick blessing at the end of our ceremony. She was disappointed but ok. I don't even want to think about the baptism disaster that's headed my way! DH and I are not religious and will not be baptizing our kid(s). MIL has a lot of health issues and DH is an only child so she tends to make him feel guilty but I am not budging on this one!

poppeloppie · July 2014

@jaztaz1‌ I totally understand because we ourselves are Christians, it's just hard to always hear she knew or God told her before we even got pregnant. being prophesied over every big life events kinda sucks, it takes the fun out of the surprise. I just wonder if she likes the attention around the fact that she wants everyone to know she knew before we did and also that she knows the sex when in reality she couldn't know for sure. Thanks for your reply

poppeloppie · July 2014

And thanks all the other ladies. Good luck with everything coming up!

mommy5point0 · July 2014

I'm super Christian Left and this shit bugs me to no end. Spirituality is so personal. Belief in god or a god alone doesn't make you a good person or guarantee phat living in the afterlife. Be a good person for the sake of being a good person... I've gone toe to toe with religious nuts before... Tell them they're doing the devil's work by turning others off to religion with all their pushing and watch the reaction. It's AWESOME.

kittyj25 · July 2014

I wish God talked to me like that. What am i doing wrong? ;-)

mamabumkin · July 2014

My inlaws are actually the cool ones. While they may have some sort of beliefs, or possibly not...they aren't pushy in the least bit, they are just happy we are happy, healthy, and having their first grandbaby. My parent's on the other hand are the bible thumpers, fundamentalist christians, and if they didn't think it would piss me off to the point of causing world war 3 between us, they would probably be more preachy to me and my hubby. But I've had that conversation with them, they know that while I'm not a believer in anything, I do have some level of spirituality. I don't buy into their religion, but I have my own theories based on other scientific (though fringe science) ideas. My DH is totally an atheist, but open to the idea that there more to this life than what we see, he and I are very similar in this respect. My parent's just don't get it, so they avoid religion all together, because they don't like it when they can't argue with my points and only have the "faith" argument to give. " I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance. " Amy Farrah Fowler (Big Bang Theory)

poppeloppie · July 2014

@flutterfly88‌ if it's a girl she will never mention the fact that God told her again..BUT there will be something else God tells her, there is always something else.. examples like "God showed me he or she have a milk or whatever allergy or the time when she told me God showed her my now 2 year old daughter will be a famous singer one day.. she just like the attention that comes with her wanting to be right someday about something. . But so far she has been wrong.

samanthajphoto · July 2014

Ugggh. @poppeloppie‌ I had the same experience. First my mom said she knew it was twin boys. Yesterday she changed her story to "it's definitely another girl". God is always waking her up telling her something. At least she's covered all of her bases now. Twins, male, or female. Not that I don't believe some people posses spiritual gifts, but she is just over the top with it all. Much like yours, just attention seeking. It's really embarrassing when she decides to tell random people on the street, or people she just met visions she's having about them. She claims she always knows what I'm thinking or feeling. If that were the case she wouldn't say half of the things she says or does. I can definitely empathize that it takes the joy out of a moment always having someone say "i told you so." or "I already knew that."

Ducktale · July 2014

mommy5point0 said:

I'm super Christian Left and this shit bugs me to no end. Spirituality is so personal. Belief in god or a god alone doesn't make you a good person or guarantee phat living in the afterlife. Be a good person for the sake of being a good person... I've gone toe to toe with religious nuts before... Tell them they're doing the devil's work by turning others off to religion with all their pushing and watch the reaction. It's AWESOME.

@mommy5point0 How is anything that was said the devils work? I am a very spiritual Christian and believe that God does speak to people. I don't know about prophesies like the OP, but just because it may not be what I believe doesn't mean it's wrong or the devils work. Just like you don't want people to judge others for what they believe you should really be more open minded about allowing others to believe what they do.

mommy5point0 · July 2014

Ducktale said:

mommy5point0 said:

I'm super Christian Left and this shit bugs me to no end. Spirituality is so personal. Belief in god or a god alone doesn't make you a good person or guarantee phat living in the afterlife. Be a good person for the sake of being a good person... I've gone toe to toe with religious nuts before... Tell them they're doing the devil's work by turning others off to religion with all their pushing and watch the reaction. It's AWESOME.

@mommy5point0
How is anything that was said the devils work? I am a very spiritual Christian and believe that God does speak to people. I don't know about prophesies like the OP, but just because it may not be what I believe doesn't mean it's wrong or the devils work. Just like you don't want people to judge others for what they believe you should really be more open minded about allowing others to believe what they do.

I should have been more clear. My dad and I discussed this when I was accosted as a teen by someone of another Christian denomination. They kept trying to give me their literature and invite me to their worship. I politely refused and thanked them repeatedly for the invitation but explained I was happy with my religion and beliefs system. They then launched into an attack about how flawed my faith was and why theirs was the answer.

My dad told me--and I believe this to be true when it comes to how I conduct MYSELF with my faith and my beliefs system--that anyone who is needlessly pushy and disrespectful of others' no thank you's, not taking no for an answer and trying to argue about what's right and wrong... THEY are turning others away from faith. I am entitled to believe that and I will tell any pushy disrespectful person of any belief system that any day of the week. I do not think at all this makes me incapable of letting others believe what they want. I need to be able to believe mine and respect your choices. Religion isn't a sales pitch.

Ducktale · July 2014

mommy5point0 said:

mommy5point0 said:

I'm super Christian Left and this shit bugs me to no end. Spirituality is so personal. Belief in god or a god alone doesn't make you a good person or guarantee phat living in the afterlife. Be a good person for the sake of being a good person... I've gone toe to toe with religious nuts before... Tell them they're doing the devil's work by turning others off to religion with all their pushing and watch the reaction. It's AWESOME.

@mommy5point0 How is anything that was said the devils work? I am a very spiritual Christian and believe that God does speak to people. I don't know about prophesies like the OP, but just because it may not be what I believe doesn't mean it's wrong or the devils work. Just like you don't want people to judge others for what they believe you should really be more open minded about allowing others to believe what they do.
I should have been more clear. My dad and I discussed this when I was accosted as a teen by someone of another Christian denomination. They kept trying to give me their literature and invite me to their worship. I politely refused and thanked them repeatedly for the invitation but explained I was happy with my religion and beliefs system. They then launched into an attack about how flawed my faith was and why theirs was the answer. My dad told me--and I believe this to be true when it comes to how I conduct MYSELF with my faith and my beliefs system--that anyone who is needlessly pushy and disrespectful of others' no thank you's, not taking no for an answer and trying to argue about what's right and wrong... THEY are turning others away from faith. I am entitled to believe that and I will tell any pushy disrespectful person of any belief system that any day of the week. I do not think at all this makes me incapable of letting others believe what they want. I need to be able to believe mine and respect your choices. Religion isn't a sales pitch.

I agree about pushing religion on other people. But you jumped to that conclusion, the OP never said her MIL pushed anything. Talking about your beliefs is not wrong. Pushing them on others, sure. But show me where in the OP she was pushing beliefs.

Unless I'm missing something, seems to me the point of this was to express annoyance about her MIL beliefs, which I take issue with as well. Spiritual beliefs tend to be very important to that person. Why not just respect that and withhold judgment even if you think the belief is silly or wrong?

annagrya · July 2014

My mil had some prophetic visions about my daughter before she was born. At the time, it really upset me that she would make these proclamations about a child that I hadn't even met yet. I was super territorial while pregnant and it kinda crossed my boundary. Now it's no big deal and I'm fine with our pastors or church friends telling me about visions or prophecy. I've sort of learned to let some of that stuff slide on by, if it doesn't speak to you or your husband spiritually I'd just say thanks and move on.

mommy5point0 · July 2014

Ducktale said:

mommy5point0 said:

Ducktale said:

mommy5point0 said:

I'm super Christian Left and this shit bugs me to no end. Spirituality is so personal. Belief in god or a god alone doesn't make you a good person or guarantee phat living in the afterlife. Be a good person for the sake of being a good person... I've gone toe to toe with religious nuts before... Tell them they're doing the devil's work by turning others off to religion with all their pushing and watch the reaction. It's AWESOME.

@mommy5point0
How is anything that was said the devils work? I am a very spiritual Christian and believe that God does speak to people. I don't know about prophesies like the OP, but just because it may not be what I believe doesn't mean it's wrong or the devils work. Just like you don't want people to judge others for what they believe you should really be more open minded about allowing others to believe what they do.
I should have been more clear. My dad and I discussed this when I was accosted as a teen by someone of another Christian denomination. They kept trying to give me their literature and invite me to their worship. I politely refused and thanked them repeatedly for the invitation but explained I was happy with my religion and beliefs system. They then launched into an attack about how flawed my faith was and why theirs was the answer.

My dad told me--and I believe this to be true when it comes to how I conduct MYSELF with my faith and my beliefs system--that anyone who is needlessly pushy and disrespectful of others' no thank you's, not taking no for an answer and trying to argue about what's right and wrong... THEY are turning others away from faith. I am entitled to believe that and I will tell any pushy disrespectful person of any belief system that any day of the week. I do not think at all this makes me incapable of letting others believe what they want. I need to be able to believe mine and respect your choices. Religion isn't a sales pitch.

I agree about pushing religion on other people. But you jumped to that conclusion, the OP never said her MIL pushed anything. Talking about your beliefs is not wrong. Pushing them on others, sure. But show me where in the OP she was pushing beliefs.

Unless I'm missing something, seems to me the point of this was to express annoyance about her MIL beliefs, which I take issue with as well. Spiritual beliefs tend to be very important to that person. Why not just respect that and withhold judgment even if you think the belief is silly or wrong?

Show me where I said her MIL was silly or wrong.

ETA: @Ducktale‌ I apologize for making this a disagreement when it need not be and @poppeloppie‌ I apologize for derailing your thread and making it about my own feelings. I've been a dick.

Specific to your situation with your MIL, it would irk me and I would internally eye roll. Because she's your MIL I would probably also try my darnedest to ignore or change the subject when she launches into her prophecies, etc. It's not a hill to die on and if this is the worst she will be when you're pg I think others will agree it's definitely annoying but manageable. There have been some doozy MIL stories here.

poppeloppie · July 2014

@mommy5point0‌ No problem! Yeah it was all more of an annoyance especially since it isn't the first time and won't be the last and at this point it's just attention seeking more than anything else. . I absolutely believe God can speak in many ways but just to her and always about me? plus it's always when I'm pregnant or when I make big decisions lol really getting old.

mommy5point0 · July 2014

@poppeloppie‌ I kind of wonder if her behavior is a deliberate attention diversion on her part vs real deep seeded religious feelings....

poppeloppie · July 2014

@mommy5point0‌ I wonder that too.
When I decided to visit mom and sister who lives in a different country and never met my 9 month daughter she told me God told her I should leave my daughter with her and go see my family by myself

agm04 · July 2014

@hikerlady YES, all so true. My parents are very religious too, though not as pushy. They're not Catholic - they're Methodist - but I know they wouldn't throw a fit. I feel like my parents get screwed a lot bc they're not pushy about things like my in laws are (I love them too but damn). But then I remember no, DH and I are the ones getting screwed because THEY AREN'T OUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS AT ALL. haha. Flashbacks to our wedding man.

daciadanae · July 2014

I have a really annoying MIL, too. She uses her spirituality as an excuse for simply seeking attention. As a Christian myself, it's frustrating to me that she puts on such a show and, in ways, gives others the impression that our family is a bunch of "religious nuts". However, I've learned that it's her way of trying to connect and feel more involved. She doesn't have any daughters so she'll never be the mother-of-a-new-mother. When my first baby was born and when this one i born I'll be calling MY mom, not her. It's still annoying as heck but I've learned it's best to just bite my tongue and let her have her moment. If it makes her feel better, the better relationship we seem to have, and the better relationship I end up having with my husband.

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