One of those.. Years..

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

You all know the score with me. Seizures, migraines, hernia, frequent infections etc. All in the last year. Then there is my beautiful, clever, amazing son, who may, or may not be autistic, and regardless, is developmentally delayed. Then there is the Army, which.. Well, if i said what i think about them right now, i'd be put on some list, so i'm just not even going to go there. But everything, everything just keeps getting worse. As soon as i think we have turned a corner, the sky falls. 2 weeks ago, my husband threw away my teeth by accident (back story: in february 21 of my natural teeth had be removed by emergency surgery because an infection i had kept spreading and wouldn't respond to medication and had put my life in danger), having a new set made has wiped out our savings, and i have been without top teeth for 2 weeks. We are set to pick them up tomorrow. Trouble is, the only place that would do them in any sort of timely fashion is over an hour away, and last night, our car broke down. Like totally. It and my husband needed to be towed home. It's a pile of dead machine in my carport. A steaming hunk of mechanical mistakes that we still have 2 years of payments on. I now have no idea how we are getting home. I can't fly. Not that we have anywhere to go regardless, and no money to do it. I am so.. Done. I can't handle this shit anymore.

Mom2anAngel2 · July 2014

((HUGE HUGS))

Jessie333 · July 2014

I'm so sorry. Big hugs.

jobiann · July 2014

Oh no, I was just wondering how you, Thoren and your H were doing. I cannot imagine how hopeless you are feeling. But hug that little guy of yours and cling on to any light that you can. Things have to get better, they will get better if you keep looking for the positives.

One of my sisters has had several years of bad occurrences, 7 miscarriages, being told they cannot conceive children to a list too long to remember of bad experiences in the foster care program to adopting three children who all have very special and unique issues (thanks to their bio mothers who used drugs while pregnant) and now becoming grandparents waayyy too early and having to support their eldest daughter and her two baby girls, basically doing it all over again.

I asked her how she does it, how does she get through the day. Her response to me was a minute at a time and with her faith in God. I am not a very religious person, we only go to church about twice a month, her faith is so much stronger then mine. Knowing she has a life that she feels like she doesn't want to be in anymore but that she keeps strong and keeps living in the positive...she is making it. Day by day. And she says it WILL get better.

Keep strong, hold those close to you tight. It has to get better.

(((hugs)))

ReeceFamily · July 2014

Oh, wow. That is really shitty! If we lived in the same city you could totally borrow my car!

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

@kittynap - Oh.. Don't worry. Grace is barely even in my vocabulary anymore. I got so.. Overwhelmed.. Today, that i threatened to leave my husband. Classy huh? Like it's totally his fault that the sky is falling.. Sigh.

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

@kittynap - it wasn't like a divorce threat, more of a.. "My family is coming to get me, deal with this bullshit yourself" sort of threat. The car thing.. IS actually his doing. It broke down last week and he never told me, and never got it looked at. But he did it because he didn't want to stress me out *facepalm*. I am just so frustrated and overwhelmed.

But in my nerdy dreams i often imagine channeling Storm. White hair, lightning, the whole dang deal. Granted i am several shades in the negative of the stunning gal, but hey, it's a fantasy right? Lol. Storm would know what to do. And girl can fly regardless, so who needs a car? Catch a tornado! (ya know.. the uh.. non-destructive kinds..... yeah..). Ugh,

bennikki · July 2014

That just sucks! I hope things turn around for you soon!

ambmama · July 2014

Hugs to you mama! Things will get better - hang in there!

SarahBBowers · July 2014

Sending hugs and prayers your way! If we lived close I would drive you!!

==N== · July 2014

((Hugs))
At least in the future when you pull out of this, and everything is going exactly as you hoped it would (because it WILL happen) you can show your precious little boy how hard you worked to give him all he has.

court115 · July 2014

I am so sorry that you are dealing with so much at one time. Sending you lots of T&Ps that things start looking up soon!

spainy17 · July 2014

I am so freaking sorry honey, that is just a shiitstorm of crap. We have a mini version of that with DD's ears right now and I just keep focusing on the next step, what can we do today since the big picture is scary. Hang in there and post all the explitives you want.

URMySunshine77 · July 2014

I'm so sorry. I hope things start to get better for you!

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

@ClaryPax - I am a SAHM, to work opposite shifts from my H i would literally never sleep. That being said, i would consider it, if my health issues weren't so limiting, i can't lift anything that weighs more than 10 pounds (makes life with a toddler interesting let me tell ya lol). Which crosses most night jobs out. I won't put DS in daycare because crowds freak him out, as do new people in general, and if i did, it would take pretty much all of what i was making anyways to pay for it. I own a photography business, and that has always been enough to supplement our income in the past, but the last month has just been awful expense wise.

The won't start the process to officially diagnose until after he turns two, to make sure that it isn't just run of the mill social and verbal issues before they call it something more serious. So at two, if things still aren't improving, we'll be sent to an autism center for a full eval to determine what the full scope of the situation is. So there is still a fair amount of time before we know anything for sure.

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