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40+ Moms, come on in...

dragonfly1809dragonfly1809 member
in Pregnant after a Loss
So, I'm 41 (my husband is 45) and because of this I'm labelled "high risk" even though both my OBs and my midwife all say that in the whole scheme of things I'm young. I feel young..., in so many ways I am younger than I was 20 years ago. My health is better, probably because I take better care of myself now. I have less stress, not scrambling up some career ladder, I'm settled. We have our dream home, we're financially secure... I'm simply in such a better position in so many ways than I was when I had my daughter (nearly 17 years ago). Last year I handled pregnancy (physically), birth, and recovery - inspite of everything, much better than I did with my daughter. 40 is the new 20?

How do you other "older" moms feel? Do you feel labelled by your age? In a better way? Worse? 

How do you feel about starting (or starting again) with a new baby in your 40s? 

How does this affect you as a loss mom?
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Re: 40+ Moms, come on in...

  • 2redtulips2redtulips member
    I am not 40+, but close. I am 39. I didn't get married until age 34, and I am glad DH and I took some time before ttc. I do feel like I am better equipped now to be a mom than I was when I was younger. (I can't format properly today, due to some Bump glitch, so I will stop there.) I am also on the Pregnant After 35 board, which you might want to check out.

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    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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  • buggirl72buggirl72 member
    ***lurking***

    Even if you are healthy, your OB is not worried, and everything is okay, get under the care of an MFM.

    I too was told that I was healthy and had nothing to worry about due to my AMA status alone. I had a complication free pg up to 20 weeks.

    It's a pain in the ass and maybe you don't want to be labeled "high risk" based on your age alone, but you are.

    Please get under the care of an MFM.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
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  • dragonfly1809dragonfly1809 member
    @buggirl72‌ I am under every bit of care with this pregnancy. In Canada there aren't dedicated MFMs, but I am with the high risk RE, his selected OB, midwife care, and a whole team of others carefully watching me.

    Everyone is well aware of the risks involved. They were all around last year when I had my son, they're all aware of our loss, our grief, and the gravity of the situation.

    I've never felt more secure with care providers, I have to say. Everyone has been wonderful. :)
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  • dragonfly1809dragonfly1809 member
    @RN536‌ I totally agree with the kids keeping us active. I feel in great shape, in spite of recent physical and emotional trials, and hope having a little one will help maintain that. We have to keep our wits up too!

    :)
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