Stressed out Momma Needs Advice! Work Related

amaksym05 · July 2014

Hi ladies... Quick back story; 3 weeks ago (@17 weeks) my job gave me and 18 co-workers the news that they are moving our jobs to NYC. I live in NJ and have always driven to work. Driving into NYC is not an option so now I am stuck with an awful commute. I will have to take a train 30 min then hop out and walk (4 min) to a PATH- Subway train that will take about 15 min to my stop and walk 5 city blocks. This came at the worse possible time (for obvious reasons). I am so worried about the physicality of this. My DH and I did a try run. It's about a hour and 20 min commute. I was pretty tired and hot by the end of it. I was only 18 weeks when we did the dry run.

I will be 24 weeks on my first day there... I am pretty stressed and worried. I had some SCH's early in this pregnancy but as of right now everything is quiet and looks pretty good. Cervix is long and closed and babies are growing on track. I just don't want to put myself and these babies in jeopardy. I had Dr appt this past Friday and spoke to the midwife. This was the first time since we got the news.. She is a little concerned and said she would speak to the Dr. about it. She just doesn't know if legally she can sign me out of work without actual reason but stresses she doesn't want me to get to the point of it being medically necessary. At this point I don't want to be taken out... I mean I will be starting a "new" job on disability.But like the mid-wife said I don't want to get to the point I have a reason due to the commute. I have another appt 2 days before I have to go into NYC. So we shall see what they decide.Do I push to be taken out?

Anyone have any experience with this? Were you put on disability or modified bedrest this early even if there were no complications just the possibility of complications?? .

I also have 20 month old and just this week started to feel really exhausted just grocery shopping (already!). I run out of breath talking to people. I don't know how I am going to make it.

Any advice would be helpful.. I am so stressed and anxious and don't know what to do.. Not taking the job is no option it's the only medical insurance my family has. If you made it to the end! A big Thank you for just reading this

sasky · July 2014

I'm sorry. That is a very stressful situation.

Would your work offer any kind of flexible work arrangement where you could work from home, even if it's just certain days a week? If you don't have to go in every day, maybe it will take the edge off a long commute. If you're not sure, there's no harm in asking. You never know what's possible if you don't speak up, ya know?

In my experience with a complication free twin pregnancy, I would not have been able to do that kind of commute for very long. 24 weeks would already be pushing it.

I don't have a ton of advice other than that, but good luck. I hope it works out.

basil2 · July 2014

It sounds miserable, but I wouldn't worry that it will be dangerous. I hit somewhat of a wall not too long after 30 wks and was just doing too much. I went in to see the OB who was really understanding. It was really reassuring to have her say I was wearing myself out, but probably not likely to hurt the babies. If it gets to be too much- get seen and checked- and they'll likely take you out then. Good luck.

xtina78 · July 2014

Woah, that is a tough situation. That is a tough commute (I lived in NY for 10 years). I've also had a largely complication free twin pregnancy (besides some placenta previa issues that resolved in second tri) but my OB keeps stressing to me the need to do as little as possible and stay very well hydrated to avoid pre-term labor. He offered to put me on disability (but I am already working only part-time at a sedentary job with a short driving commute). I'll be interested in what the doctor says about you being technically disabled at this point - there is certainly some flexibility around this (I'm also a doctor). I can totally understand that you would not want to be considered disabled especially going into a new job, but at this point the most important thing is to keep your pregnancy healthy - and if disability were an option, I'd strongly consider taking it. I also personally cannot imagine doing that commute the way I've felt for the last several weeks - very easily tired, swollen, not sleeping very well etc. As PP suggested, maybe there is a creative alternative like working from home for part of the week. Or even staying with friends in NYC overnight sometimes to avoid a few commutes (this sounds hard especially with a toddler at home). I wish you the best. If worst comes to worst and you had to quit, you could consider COBRAing your benefits (I know, not ideal, and expensive).

amaksym05 · July 2014

Thanks ladies.. Right now the job does not offer a work from home option and no flexible schedule. Presently I take advantage of flex time; I come in an hour early and leave and hour early so I miss heavy traffic which can double my commute. It's really the unknown of everything that is stressing me out the most. I already feel so physically uncomfortable and still so much left to go I know I will hit that wall sooner than later. With DS I didn't feel this way until 8 month pregnant. This twin thing is no joke! Thank you so much for you kind words and letting me vent! Will keep you posted on how this turns out in the month ahead.

zazu13 · July 2014

Best of luck. There is no way I coułd have done this past about 30 weeks. FMLA may be an option or short term disability

mer313131 · July 2014

Very tough situation for you to be in. The commute sounds miserable but especially the part about walking five city blocks...especially with the dog days of August coming. I couldn't do it now at 27 weeks...I get totally worn out grocery shopping for 30 min. I would maybe do it for a few days or a week just to show your employer that you gave it your best shot, then ask to be taken out on disability. It's not worth putting yourself or your babies at risk IMO.

Jenn06L80 · July 2014

That sounds like an awful commute. I have about a 50 minute commute that involves driving, a train, and a short walk. I work as a nurse practitioner in a hospital so I am on my feet quite a bit. Every time I went to the OB after 28 weeks I would hint at them writing me out but they said medically I was fine to work. I worked up until I delivered with my singleton. A twin pregnancy is so much harder. Good luck.

auntjessy · July 2014

Yuck.

Sorry to be a downer, but you should be taking it easy after 20 weeks with multiples, especially with an SCH. My doc told me after 20 weeks to not do anything that wasn't really necessary, and I was put on modified bedrest at 28 weeks, then full bedrest at 31 weeks. Delivered at 34 + 1 after hospital bedrest. It's just not worth it. Take care of yourself and your beautiful babies, everything else will work itself out.

Want a personalized experience?

Stressed out Momma Needs Advice! Work Related

Re: Stressed out Momma Needs Advice! Work Related

Choose Another Board

Search Boards