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Trouble TTC
shirleymaeby
member
Bad IF Day...Angry Rant
shirleymaeby
member
in Trouble TTC
**WARNING: I am about to curse...like, a lot. Also, children and BFP's mentioned that are obviously not effing mine.***
Big fat fucking goddamn shitting son of a bitching negative. I just HAD to test a day early (yesterday) and I got the BFN. And even though I somehow knew it wasn't a false one, I still had the tiniest inkling of hope. Today AF started and I tried to convince myself it was just implantation spotting because it wasn't that heavy. But my breasts aren't sore anymore and it wasn't the pink or brown described in all the internet articles I have read about the subject. So I called my RE's office and let them know I started and then went to the gym to burn off some of my anger about the unfairness of it all. And I was okay. But then I come back from the gym to a fire drill at work...so now we are locked out of the office and I am in my gym clothes all sweaty and gross and hungry. Did not improve my mood...but I was still okay. Then the RE called back to schedule my mid-cycle u/s. And when I told the nurse I started today she said "I'm sorry about that". And THAT is when I started losing it. Somehow the sympathy made it officially real. I appreciated her sympathy, but it immediately set a lump in my throat that will not go away.
So today I am pissed. I am pissed that AF had to come today. I am pissed about the goddamn fire drill. I am pissed that I have already secretly cried in the ladies room three times in the last week about my fucking infertility and that my face is trying to start its shit again. I am pissed about all the shit-heads in the world who got pregnant on accident when there are perfectly good people all over the world who want kids and can't have them. I am pissed that none of you are pregnant. I am pissed that my super annoying co-worker just got pregnant and everyone is fawning ALL over her. I am pissed that my company changed their insurance coverage for fertility treatment in January with no notice because we knew we needed to see an RE since September but put it off for convenience and now I have to pay for all this shit out of pocket. I am pissed that I couldn't wait two more days to test because I wasted a pregnancy test.
OMG...it felt so much better to write all of that out. The lump is gone, my eyes have stopped stinging. Let's see if I can make it through the rest of this day without completely losing it.
-----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------
Me: 31| DH: 36
TTC #1 Since 07/2010
DX: Unexplained Infertility
TX:
IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN
IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bad IF Day...Angry Rant
TTC since Nov 2013 (no BC since Feb 2013)
DX: Annovulation
SA: excellent
HSG: normal
Treatment: Clomid 50 mg (NR); 100 mg (NR); 150 mg (NR);
July 2014 200 mg Clomid w/ good response
7-19-14 Ovidrel trigger w/ scheduled intercourse on 7/19 and 7/20
7-24-14 pregnancy symptoms started
7-31-14 pregnancy symptoms increasing
8-1-14 BFP!!
8-2-14 BFP!!
8-3-14 (just to make sure lol) BFP!!
8-4-14 b/w confirmed!
8-6-14 b/w still looks good, u/s scheduled for 8/14 and b/w on 8/13
-----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------
Me: 31| DH: 36
TTC #1 Since 07/2010
DX: Unexplained Infertility
TX:
IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN
IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks
TTC #1 with IUI and donor sperm
First IUI May, 2014, Clomid + Trigger = BFN
Second IUI July, 2014, Clomid + Trigger = BFN
Third IUI Dec, 2014, Femara + Follistim + Trigger = BFN
Fourth IUI Feb 2015, Femara + Follistim + Trigger = C/P
-----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------
Me: 31| DH: 36
TTC #1 Since 07/2010
DX: Unexplained Infertility
TX:
IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN
IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks
Me: 33 DH: 39
Married July 2011
TTC since July 2012
Jan 2014: 1st RE appointment. BW, HSG, and SA are all normal. DX is unexplained infertility.
Apr 2014: BFP that turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. HCG reached 2,035 at the high.
Jul 2014: IUI #1 with Gonal F and Ovidrel.
Me: 30 DW (aka C): 29
Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12
***CP mentioned***
We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm. 8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy. We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET. I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013.
11/14/14 - Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good.
12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2
12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)
1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2
****All Welcome!****
We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.
As far as the alcohol is concerned I have a wine cooler stocked and a liquor cabinet stocked. If that isn't enough there is a drive through daiquiri shop across the street. If you want to come over and get drunk, I got the hook up.
@iPutKetchupOnKetchup I'm not moving we have tons of drive thru's here. This is where everyone needs to live.
Missed M/C natural cycle 10/2013
DX PCOS 3/2014
2 cycles Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel + TI
1 cycle Clomid 50 mg + TI - no response stair-stepped to Clomid 75 mg + Ovidrel + TI
1 cycle Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel + IUI
1 cycle Letrozole 7.5 mg + 150 mg Follistim + Ovidrel + TI
1 cycle Letrozole 7.5 mg + 150 mg Folistim + Ovidrel + IUI
1 cycle Letrozole 7.5 mg + 150 mg Follistim - no response, repeated Letrozole 7.5 mg + 150 mg Follistim + Ovidrel + IUI = success! 12/2014
Beta 1 - 15 dpiui, 324, Beta 2 - 17 dpiui 750. Twins!!
My Blog: pcosandpizza.blogspot.com
Me 34 Him 33
May 2014 - Break cycle to repeat saline sonogram and re-group. Travel to Kauai 5/7-5/12 (Yay!!)
Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!
Official diagnosis: Unexplained IF. I am 32. I have low ovarian reserve (low AMH), and poor egg quality. I've also been diagnosed with mild glandular developmental arrest (lining problems, detected with EFT).
We are using open ID donor sperm. IUIs #1-7=BFN. IVF September 2014 antagonist protocol, 8R,5M,3F, 5 day transfer of 1 morula = BFN. IVF#2 planned for January 2015 (antagonist protocol + HGH).
ALL WELCOME!
TTC since 04/12
Me- 26 PCOS
DH- 28 MFI
10/13 IUI #1 (1 follie)- BFP!
11/13 M/C @9 wk due to tetraploidy, one little boy in heaven
01/14 IUI#2 (1 follie) BFN
02/14 IUI #3 (3 follies) BFN
03/14 IUI #4 (2 follies) BFN
05/14 IVF/ICSI #1 CXL
07/14 IVF/ICSI #1.2 6R, 6M, 5F, 2T, 2 frosties!
Transferred 2-5dt CP
09/14 FET #1 BFP! Beta #1 52 Beta #2 152!
10/20/14- It's TWINS!
1/15- TEAM PURPLE!
-----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------
Me: 31| DH: 36
TTC #1 Since 07/2010
DX: Unexplained Infertility
TX:
IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN
IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks
@kmdecoux yes I'm in Louisiana, right outside of New Orleans. No clue how you guessed. :-) I hate when I'm on vacation I had to buy my Bloody Mary mix in 1 store and the vodka at another.
-----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------
Me: 31| DH: 36
TTC #1 Since 07/2010
DX: Unexplained Infertility
TX:
IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN
IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks
-----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------
Me: 31| DH: 36
TTC #1 Since 07/2010
DX: Unexplained Infertility
TX:
IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN
IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks
-----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------
Me: 31| DH: 36
TTC #1 Since 07/2010
DX: Unexplained Infertility
TX:
IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN
IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks