Interesting Article - Work as a Haven

justjinny · July 2014

Came across this article this morning and thought it was interesting to share. Here's the link in case the clicky doesn't work: https://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/07/15/330191097/when-work-becomes-a-haven-from-stress-at-home

I'd be interested to see what other working moms thought. Personally I'm not so sure that home time is more stressful than work time, but on days when I feel like I bring stress home with me from work that definitely makes nights more stressful at home.

DiveFrog · July 2014

I do think stress at work and stress at home are two very different things. I agree that stress at home feels higher because of the emotional component to it. I also feel like things are more stressful at home sometimes because kids are not teammates/colleagues, they are dependents, i.e They work against you, not with you.

Also, I know this isn't true for everyone, but I am able to leave my work stress at work 95% of the time, but personal issues and family/life stress is always with me even at work.

jellybean529 · July 2014

DiveFrog said:

I do think stress at work and stress at home are two very different things. I agree that stress at home feels higher because of the emotional component to it. I also feel like things are more stressful at home sometimes because kids are not teammates/colleagues, they are dependents, i.e They work against you, not with you.

Also, I know this isn't true for everyone, but I am able to leave my work stress at work 95% of the time, but personal issues and family/life stress is always with me even at work.

I totally agree with the bolded. I'm sure it varies from field to field but my work stress gets left at work, but my worries and stresses about family life and personal stuff is always present.

aglenn · July 2014

I definitely agree with the points made in the article and have said similar things myself. I think another component of it is that at work I have much more control over things and can step away when needed, whereas with kids you are just in it 24/7 and it all feels outside my control to a large extent.

ETA: I am trying to say, I can't project manage or out-plan the kids nearly as effectively as I can with work problems. They just don't go along with my master plan most of the time.

MommaP12 · July 2014

DiveFrog said:

I do think stress at work and stress at home are two very different things. I agree that stress at home feels higher because of the emotional component to it. I also feel like things are more stressful at home sometimes because kids are not teammates/colleagues, they are dependents, i.e They work against you, not with you.

Also, I know this isn't true for everyone, but I am able to leave my work stress at work 95% of the time, but personal issues and family/life stress is always with me even at work.

Well said. I too leave work stress at work which I'm grateful for. My home stress isn't necessarily stress as it is just lots of business and chaos and trying to fit so much in during so little time. Some nights it's a whirlwind after getting home to fit in dinner, playing, baths, etc., but it's just business/chaos and not super stressful.

Katelobster · July 2014

I wish they would have controlled for socioeconomic status when they did this. Are women who work full-time in better health because of the stress relief and other benefits of working, or because in general working FT also means more education, higher income, and greater access to insurance and preventative care? Socioeconomic status tends to be the biggest factor in health. Plus they only studied 122 people, which apparently included men and people without kids. I absolutely think this is worth studying and talking about, but I have a hard time putting much stock in that particular study.

Fwiw I work PT and my personal stress level is a lot lower than when I worked FT, but PT was my preference.

Virgo17 · July 2014

I don't necessarily see work as a "haven", but it does add a lot more value to my life than stress. I feel productive, flex my brain muscles, interact with co-workers, and all of that is satisfying for me. I get breaks to use the restroom and eat lunch, which doesn't happen at home. There is stress at home and at work, but it is very different. Interesting article!

[Deleted User] · July 2014

I come to work to relax, even when I am pulling in crazy work hours and up to my eyeballs in deadline.

I manage work chaos much better than toddler chaos. It's a different stress. To me, it's a more manageable stress.

As far as implications of the study, meh. It was a small study size and it would depend on their matrix and control group.

mittensonkittens · July 2014

I've had some of those same thoughts. Work is less stressful for me because I don't care as much. These days there is so much pressure to be a good mother. When I'm having a bad day at work, I know that at any point I could walk away from my career. I could do something else, or stay home with the kids. And society would not beat me up for walking away.

kristennd · July 2014

CTGirl30 said:

Here at my office job, I can at least eat one meal (sometimes 2 if you count breakfast) in peace & quiet and at my own pace. I can use the restroom when I want and without an audience. I can hold a conversation uninterrupted (usually) with other adults.

Exactly.

It's no big deal now, but for the first two years, a huge weight lifted off me every Monday morning.

Not least because DH worked double shifts on the weekends so it was just me from 5pm Friday to 11pm Sunday. And no car. Many people worse and for longer, but that doesn't mean it comes naturally.

88sharonlee · July 2014

I didn't get a chance to read the article yet, but my first thought when I saw the title if the post is that 1) yes sometimes work is a nice break away from home and I often have much more control over my schedule during the day at work, I can take a walk, eat lunch, etc whenever I want to which is nice.

Also, someone once told me we should spend just as much, if not more, effort on making our work environment a great place since we spend more of our time there. While that fact is a little sad, it's true and I try to brighten up my work area so it's a nice personal space that I enjoy.

dashofreality · July 2014

While my coworkers can occasionally be annoying, I can always pee in peace.

For me part of the escape from work is that at home I always feel that there is something that needs done hanging over my head - play with the kids or cleaning generally. It is nice to be able to set that stuff aside at work. Also, toddlers can be annoying as hell and it is really nice to have a break from that.

Katelobster · July 2014

It's been a long time since I've read it, but if anyone's interested in reading more on this topic, I recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/The-Time-Bind-When-Becomes/dp/0805066438/ref=pd_sim_b_9?ie=UTF8&refRID=0YFEHYY5SBA8X5D8TQNX 'The Time Bind: When Work Becomes Home and Home Becomes Work' "Arlie Russell Hochschild, bestselling author of The Second Shift, spent three summers at a Fortune 500 company interviewing top executives, secretaries, factory hands, and others. ... It seems the roles of home and work had reversed: work was offering stimulation, guidance, and a sense of belonging, while home had become the place in which there was too much to do in too little time. "Today Hochschild's findings are more relevant than ever. As she shows in her new introduction, the borders between family and work have become even more permeable. With the Internet extending working hours at home and offices offering domestic enticements -- free snacks, soft music -- to keep employees later at their jobs... " et cetera, you get the idea. Luckily I don't have this problem, we don't even have free coffee anymore

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