Keeping things looking less like a tornado has hit

brachysira · July 2014

Please share any toy ideas you have. M will pick up if I ask her, but the net progress is pretty much zero, since she gets out different toys along the way, gets out the thing she just put away a few minutes later, etc. We have a few things, like cards, in her closet, and she has to ask (or I have to decide) to get them out. Art supplies are kept out of reach. However, most of her stuff is in a drawer in the living room or on a couple living room shelves. Plus, in our living room we have a little table, a slide, and a handful of other large toys. Our basement is unfinished and I want to turn it into a playroom, and we will at least do a low-budget version of this when our ill cat dies...but until then, I need options. As it is now, a picked-up living room can be completely wrecked in an hour. Should I just accept this and keep encouraging neat habits as possible? Or should I make fewer toys accessible? Or?

tamarar5 · July 2014

This is only a glimpse of what my house looks like every day...

SummerLove21 · July 2014

I have given up on having a clean living room except for after DS goes to bed or if we are having company. Embrace the chaos.

fignewt74 · July 2014

Don't feel bad. This was last year when DS2 was little bitty but still you get the idea...

tamarar5 · July 2014

@fignewt74‌ I love your kids, lol!

wifeofadam · July 2014

My only solutions have been to limit the number of toys that are accessible and do frequent clean-ups throughout the day.

Honestly, we recently moved and going into a smaller space has saved my sanity when it comes to the toy issue. We now have an upstairs and downstairs and I instituted a policy that no toys are allowed downstairs, except for a few items that go in a toy chest in our family room. It keeps the visual clutter upstairs in their bedrooms, out of my sight, so I can just shut the door if I don't get to cleaning it. Then the main living space is neater.

When we moved we also got rid of a lot of our toys. I've found that with less toys the kids get more creative with what they have and spend more time doing other things - like sitting at the table drawing or playing playdough. It's more focused activities than it was in the past with a million toy options - they used to just grab toys from shelves and throw them around, without really focusing on anything.

I used to have a put it away before you get something new out, but then we kept having kids and it turned into four different kids' things out at once and me having a hard time keeping track of who forgot to put stuff away.

But really, I think that learning to live in chaos has helped me, too. I recognize that the house won't look magazine perfect during these years with small children. I do what I can to teach them good habits and stay organized, but keeping a clean house is an exercise in futility most days. There will be a day when my house is nice again, now just isn't that time!

brachysira · July 2014

Well, sadly, DH and I ARE comfortable with chaos. We would live this way even before kids if we didn't constantly tell ourselves we must try to do better and live in fear of having to let people who stop by in the house. My main concern is that we seriously need to have a baby-sitter once in a while because I have a ton of pregnancy pain and cannot really take M outside when is is 80 for more than about 10 minutes without feeling overheated. We pay well and I feel like most of our sitters just are not that into us...and we did not have this problem when I was not pregnant and so I think they may be turned off by how bad things always look... But if we are interviewing and hiring people who don't know us very well then things need to be always be reasonably clean before they arrive.

MalRiggs · July 2014

We keep a limited amount of toys in the downstairs. Only a large basket (which is all DDs) all other toys stay upstairs. Even with that I have given up. I figured by the time they go to college it will be clean

wifeofadam · July 2014

brachysira said:

Well, sadly, DH and I ARE comfortable with chaos. We would live this way even before kids if we didn't constantly tell ourselves we must try to do better and live in fear of having to let people who stop by in the house. My main concern is that we seriously need to have a baby-sitter once in a while because I have a ton of pregnancy pain and cannot really take M outside when is is 80 for more than about 10 minutes without feeling overheated. We pay well and I feel like most of our sitters just are not that into us...and we did not have this problem when I was not pregnant and so I think they may be turned off by how bad things always look... But if we are interviewing and hiring people who don't know us very well then things need to be always be reasonably clean before they arrive.

I used to feel this way about sitters. I've had a sitter watching my kids in my home for 2-3 days a week for the last seven years. For the first few, I would freak out and deep clean in the mornings before they came. Then, we had the same sitter for a long time and she figured out that we are slobs at heart, so I just stopped caring. She dealt with it.

So when she left and we had to hire a new sitter, I was upfront about it. While interviewing I said, "Listen. Just being honest. We're slobs, so if that bothers you, I totally understand, but this isn't the house for you." That was the last thing I said about it and now I love not feeling any pressure to keep the place nice for her. She's kind of a neat freak, so it works well for me that the house is usually in better shape when I get home than when I left it.

Anyways, if I were you I would stay being you. Don't be someone you're not for a sitter. They're going to end up in your home, in your mess, so you can't really hide it. I mean, even if I tried to clean up for a sitter, inevitably at some point someone will end up with a boo-boo and she'll need to dig through my messy cabinets to find the bandaids or she'll need to find something in the fridge and see that it needs cleaned. You can't hide your mess when someone is essentially living in it for you while you're gone, so why even bother?!

kleigh926 · July 2014

DC2London said:

wifeofadam said:

But really, I think that learning to live in chaos has helped me, too. I recognize that the house won't look magazine perfect during these years with small children. I do what I can to teach them good habits and stay organized, but keeping a clean house is an exercise in futility most days. There will be a day when my house is nice again, now just isn't that time!

This absolutely. I tell myself that this is their house. I've created this home for them to grow and learn and enjoy their youth. That involves making messes. I make sure that it's clean but it's never 100% decluttered.

~~~~quotes are messed up~~~~

Agreed. I used to clean up multiple times a day, and I finally realized that was a waste of time. After she'd wake up from a nap, the mess would start all over again. We clean up all toys and books before bed, and that's it. However, what did help was moving her toy box to her room and not leaving it out in the living room for her to throw everything all over the place. We pick out a few toys to bring out in the living room every day, and leave her toy box open in her room in case she wants to get something else out. But she usually doesn't do that unless prompted to get something out.

Otherwise, I have learned from talking to other parents that it's just better to accept the fact that the house is going to be messy most of the time when you have small children.

lc&jw · July 2014

We clean up the living room twice a day: during afternoon nap and after bedtime. The rest of the time it's a disaster with 2 busy toddlers. I'm trying to start getting the kids involved in cleaning up at least a little bit (e.g., putting blocks away). They will consistently put their shoes away now when I ask them and they get excited to do it because I clap for them afterwards. DD now claps for herself afterwards too.

I've also started rotating toys. I keep about half of their toys upstairs in the guest room and rotate what's downstairs about once a week (exchanging just a few items each time). It limits the clutter in the living room (though it's still chaos) and leads to different play because it's easier for them to see what's there.

jesuisfatiguee · July 2014

I don't SAH, which skews my answers, but DS doesn't have all that many toys available to him at any one time. Everything he has fits into a large basket (save for books, which I will never keep organized, ever lol), so clean up isn't that bad.

I say this now, before we venture into the realm of legos and other toys with many pieces involved… Plus, maybe my kid gets bored with nothing to do while other kids with more toys don't. Idk.

TarheelMama202 · July 2014

We have a box of toys downstairs. Literally a cardboard box because it also transforms into the perfect toy.

All other toys stay upstairs in DS' bedroom in his toy box. He really doesn't pull that many things out at a time, either; he sort of goes through spells with certain toys. Right now it's his doctor kit, so that's the only thing that he's been getting out and playing with upstairs.

I do not try to have a perfectly clean house. We live in our house, and it should look like we do.

BabyMayinMarch · July 2014

Our house is a free-for-all until DS goes to bed. He "helps" put away his toys before bed in tubs, drawers, and shelves we have in the living room.

Want a personalized experience?

Keeping things looking less like a tornado has hit

Re: Keeping things looking less like a tornado has hit

Choose Another Board

Search Boards