I feel horrible writing this. I feel completely and totally disconnected from this pregnancy and baby. I just went to the OB to have a heart rate check on baby because I've been anxious, and it was perfect at 148, and when she said, "it's okay, you can cry if you need to", I just felt nothing. I can't figure out if it's me trying to protect myself from another loss, but I thought by now after 2 great ultrasounds and 2 great Doppler checks I would be calming down and feeling more connected. I'm just not. I keep waiting for the worst, panic when anyone finds out/I need to tell them (I'm 13 weeks and DH is dying to start sharing the news..) Ugh, I feel like a horrible mom
BFP #1 10/5/13 MMC 11/13/13 D&C 11/15/13
BFP #2 5/14/14 EDD 1/19/15 Beta 1: 728 Beta 2: 1858 We have a heartbeat! 166 @ 7w3d Please be our RAINBOW!