Foster system / CPS / drama - long question

ncase2 · July 2014

Please note - I do not know this person, and am trying to get some answers before stepping in, but I fully plan to step in, so please no comments about "just call CPS now". This is a very complicated situation - which is why this post will be long.

So, about 2 weeks ago (right before the 4th of July), there was an incident with my 11 year old niece. My SIL and her ex-husband share custody, and from my understanding the ex's new wife is a real peach - she's gone so far as to bitch out my MIL for calling to talk to my niece, she makes my niece babysit her foster kids while she goes out (two of them - from what I gather, one is a little older than a year old and the other is maybe 3 or 4), and is just overall nasty to SIL, MIL, FIL, etc.

So, this women allegedly punched / hit my niece in the face - hard enough to break her nose. Then proceeds to not say anything to the dad, give her no medical care, and sends her to her room. No one knows about any of this until 2 days later when SIL picks her up and is driving home, notices she's not wearing her glasses, and proceeds to look further only to see the bruising and swelling. Takes her to the hospital, gets the full story, and is in shock. They have now retained a lawyer, and are seeking full custody of my niece and are also prosecuting the woman. Step-mom claims that my niece is lying, that she must have tripped and hit her nose on a dresser. Smells suspiciously of BS - and either way, even if she did trip, you didn't seek medical attention or notice it bleeding and swelling? BS, BS, BS. The whole thing makes me super angry, and as I'm an outsider, there isn't much I can do.

But now to my question - I know that the women is a foster mom to these two children, and it makes me uncomfortable that she could do that to my niece and still be responsible for these two kids, one of which is still very much a baby / toddler. However, I have no knowledge of any abuse, and it could very well be that the women just had it out for my niece but cares for these two kids, I don't know. I still feel like I should call or say something, because it makes me uncomfortable knowing that they're left in her care. I would like to think that the foster system would step in now that she's being prosecuted for the incident with my niece, but I don't know enough about this to be sure, and don't know if I should call CPS with my concerns. It also complicates it that I don't know the women's name or address, but could probably find out with some digging. SIL isn't my favorite, so I really don't talk to her a lot, but my niece talks to me so I'd probably be able to get some info out of her, or I can convince DH he needs to get involved. I know it's also complicated because she hasn't been found guilty of doing anything wrong, it's just an allegation at this point, and I don't want to do anything to hurt SIL's case.

Thoughts? Anyone with more knowledge / experience on this? Feel free to chime in. Just trying to figure out what I should do.

jennlin · July 2014

have your husband get the information from his sister and call as soon as you can. the foster system may or may not find out about the pending charges. there are a lot of cracks in "the system", and you wouldn't want this to fall through.

shelley1002 · July 2014

If there is a court case happening I would have someone contact the foster system in her area and alert them to it. Hope the case goes well and your niece gets out of there and that the foster kids will be in a good home, whether it be where they are now (as you said you don't know if she just had it for your niece and takes good care of the foster kids) or somewhere else.

emmylou78 · July 2014

They are going to want as much information as possible. Find out what the new wife's name is, her husband, their address. You'd probably want the foster kids names since it's regarding them. I can't remember if they ask birthdays, but any information you don't know is okay.

It in no way should hurt your SIL's case. They investigate. That's exactly what they are there for!

catycate · July 2014

I would collect as much info gathering as you can and file a report. It's not the same thing but in most states if you are a childcare provider (teacher, anything) you cannot work while being prosecuted for charges related to children. It may be the same with foster care. I would hope it is.

Weljadraak · July 2014

No advice other than my cynical outlook hoping the system doesn't fuck up. Please fight tooth and nail if no action is taken to remove the foster children. This woman clearly cannot be around children. WHO THE FUCK PUNCHES A CHILD?! ohmygoddd, I'm seriously hoping the justice system doesn't fail...

KerCo51 · July 2014

As others have said, it is very common for cases to fall through the cracks. They will likely look into the foster children, but some of these agencies are really overworked. I would definitely call CPS and try to voice your concerns to the direct foster agency.

tashad18 · July 2014

Personally, I would report it to CPS. I am obligated to report if I even suspect abuse because of my profession.

As you have stated, even if your niece for some strange reason made the story up, the step-mother still failed to take care of her when she obviously needed it.

If she did punch your niece, it doesn't matter if she "had it out for" her and hasn't touched the others. Any person who will punch a child in the face has serious issues with lack of judgement and it could be a matter of time before she harms the other two. Even if she never harms the other two, they don't need to live in an environment where abuse occurs to anyone.

I agree with PP"s in that too many times cases can fall through the cracks and you don't want this to be one of them.

RedZee · July 2014

I'd talk to SIL or have your h do it. I think reporting it yourself is not really fair since this is complete hearsay on your part from a biased person. It needs to be reported, but I think it should be done by someone who is informed of the details. At least knowing her name! Also, I think you might start shit with your SIL if you get involved like that without speaking to her.

beccabrad · July 2014

Absolutely report to CPS. Find out the address of this woman and call CPS.

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Foster system / CPS / drama - long question

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