I just feel frustrated

amus112904 · July 2014

I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I've been on two cycles of Provera and Clomid. I still can't get a period. I took a test so I know I'm not pregnant. I know I have to call my doctor. I've just been feeling upset. I hate when people ask oh when are you going to have a baby. Knowing that I've been married for 3 years. I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone expect my mom and my husband of course. I just say oh maybe soon we'll start talking about having a baby. When in reality I would love to be pregnant now. I at least have a very supportive husband. My mom is very supportive too and understands cause she had trouble having me. Has anyone else told any of your family or friends? I feel ashamed too. Thanks for listening.

cupcake122 · July 2014

I Just had surgery so I ended up telling more people- my parents, MIL, sister, four best friends, and my closest colleague. It gets hard to hide after a while. All of these people have been great, not bringing it up unless I do and being very sensitive. It's nothing to be ashamed of- look how baby if us there are in this boat!!! Unloading your secret onto a few close people can help

amus112904 · July 2014

Thanks

BunnyBerry · July 2014

I'm sorry about your cycle. Do you see an RE? I would get with one right away because they can get everything doing what it needs to be, and get the full testing to make sure your treatment is the most effective (and safe) one possible.

I'm glad you have a supportive mom to talk to. We kind of act like it's no big secret and bring it up in conversation with people if it makes sense. But probably the only person that I feel very open with and who is supportive is my little sister.

I'm so sorry you feel ashamed about it. I hope spending time with the women on this board will help lift that shame for you as it did for me.

kristyn831 · July 2014

First, I need to say that there is nothing about IF to be ashamed about! That you think that seriously brought tears to my eyes because no woman should have to feel like that, but it know how it feels.

Are you seeing an RE and being properly monitored on clomid? You need to be an advocate for your own body and fertility and make sure you're in the right hands and getting the right care.

I think telling people is a very personal choice because it's such a private matter. I couldn't really get away with it at work because I needed more time off than I had in sick time and now I have intermittent FMLA so my coworkers that didn't know, pretty much figured it out. Now I stress about keeping my hopefully future pregnancy secret for 12 weeks - which is nearly impossible because sometimes there's patients that pregnant nurses can't care for.

I'm pretty sure a lot of my family knows, I'm not secretive about it. It's a good way for annoying relatives to not ask when you're having a baby lol. I still haven't decided what's worse - them knowing or asking me when I'm popping out a kid.

Keep your head up and good luck!

erinfrank8 · July 2014

I totally understand how you feel! My husband and I have been trying for the past 18 months and we're finally starting to open up to people. We just had our 2nd wedding anniversary (and I'm a teacher) so people are always asking us when we're having kids. I was very nervous about telling people about our struggles. I didn't want to feel like I was wearing a big red letter I on my chest for infertility. But we started to open up to both of our families and closest friends. Honestly, I feel so much better because the baby questions have stopped and now we have a lot of supporters on our side too. One of my friends even opened up with me and we found out we were both going through similar situations! But it's a very personal choice, whatever you feel comfortable with.

dancerspose · July 2014

I am so sorry for your struggles and how you're feeling, but I have to smile a little at this post because I JUST posted something similar in my introduction post on the blog. People in my life are constantly asking when I'm going to get pregnant, and usually the people who ask are casual acquantainces, not close friends and family who know better than to ask such things. I always cringe inside as I brush off the questions, but it does hurt. I completely understand how you're feeling. We haven't told anyone in our lives or our struggles yet, but I am considering starting too since I think going it alone is probably not the best way.

I know for me, just being on this blog and reading about other people's experiences the past few days has helped me tremendously. I have also felt embarrased or less than because I haven't been able to get pregnant. It helps to know I'm not alone, none of us are.

catlover790 · July 2014

I'm sorry you are going through this but I think you will find lots of support here!

It is always hard when people ask about kids and I never know what to say. For me, being able to talk with others on here has been really helpful. We haven't told anyone irl yet but we might depending on what our treatments will be. It's good that you have your mom and that she is supportive!

You have said that you did two cycles already but haven't had a period; I'm a little concerned because if you ovulated you should have some sort of period. Are you seeing a reproductive endocrinologist? They would be much more able to help you than an OB. Good luck with everything!

amus112904 · July 2014

Catlover790 I have been able to get a period after taking provera and but not on my own . I am seeing a re he is properly monitoring me on clomid.

amus112904 · July 2014

Thanks everyone for all the support.

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