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July 2012 Moms
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How do you handle

nesenotesnesenotes member
in July 2012 Moms
Toddler food mooching with other kids?

Backstory: we were just at the park. One kid decides it's snack time so naturally emery sees food and goes to scope it out. Kid has cookies. Great. So she plops right next to him and is in his face. Mom asks if she can have one and I say ok. Then I remind emery she has snacks and hand her her snack cup. Well she doesn't want hers she wants his. Then another kid rolls up and Em starts yelling no at the other kid. I tell her not to be mean and share. We are all sharing. Fine she shares. Then decides nope and starts screaming Emmy's fish. So I take the cup away and try to remove her altogether. Huge tantrum unfolds so we leave.

I get that she is passionate in general. She is very vocal happy or angry. But some days I just feel like a huge asshat that is doing it wrong. I know 2 is about testing but wth? Am I doing it wrong or should I just keep on keeping on?
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Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12

 BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
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Re: How do you handle

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  • nesenotesnesenotes member
    Ok thanks. I think I sometimes struggle with always leaving and what that is really teaching her? I feel like we are always leaving situations because she is not cooperating. But staying wont really make it any better. Maybe I just have to keep reinforcing that we are leaving because xyz. She cried for cooking the whooooole way home, until we got home and I gave her a graham cracker and she went to bed. Like jeez really over a damn cookie?


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    Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12

     BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
    Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
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  • hokiemama06hokiemama06 member
    Let me just chime in with the other side - if we do a snack in a public place, we usually end up with extra "friends".  I actually welcome it, because it's a great opportunity for T to interact with other children, practice manners and sharing, and we can talk about it later.  I pack extra snacks for just such circumstances.  

    We've had some new friends who couldn't share, and the mom usually does what you did.  I think you did the right thing; it's good for both kids to see consequences are there for everyone when you don't do the kind thing.
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  • pinkangelmoonpinkangelmoon member
    I would have done the same. I always feel super embarrassed by it, even when the other kid/parent is willing to share.  Sometimes I also go the guilt-trip route and say something like "if you eat all their snacks then what will they have to eat?"  Makes them stop and think about it :D Works about 60% of the time...
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  • nesenotesnesenotes member
    edited July 2014
    I normally am glad to share too, but this lady was a "I gave you one and that is all you get" kind of lady. Which is fine, its her snacks but it kind of amped up the situation because Emery was clearly not done eyeing or eating his cookies.

    quote fail, this is in response for @hokiemama06.
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    Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12

     BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
    Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
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  • hokiemama06hokiemama06 member
    nesenotes said:
    I normally am glad to share too, but this lady was a "I gave you one and that is all you get" kind of lady. Which is fine, its her snacks but it kind of amped up the situation because Emery was clearly not done eyeing or eating his cookies.

    quote fail, this is in response for @hokiemama06.
    Well. She sounds like fun. I think most moms are happy for the opportunity to help their child learn social skills. Either way, you sound like you did great. 
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  • nesenotesnesenotes member
    bellaxanthe said:

    @NESENOTES Instead of completely leaving and going home, could you remove her from the situation, like hitting a different part of the park and coming back or trying a time out remote from the incident and then bring her back?  How does she respond to things like that?  I hate to think you always have to leave when she was having fun before the food came out.  I don't think you are wrong at all - I'm just trying to think of any other ways to handle it and see if Emery would react better to.However I get - when it's time to go, it's time to go.

     

    I could try that too! She has the memory of an elephant and is very stubborn.  I'm really trying to work on follow through. My aunt pointed out I make a lot of empty threats, which is absolutely true because I also get punished by leaving because that is my break. But thats life with a Kid too I guess. Parenting is challenging!
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    Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12

     BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
    Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
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  • ashleynakaashleynaka member
    You did everything as I would have, but with my OCD, I wouldn't have let LO eat someone else's food. Just me though, which seems to help LO know that she is only allowed to eat her own snacks and share those if she wants. This seems to help cut down on the tantrums. I would have left too. You are a great momma! Keep on keeping on for sure. :)
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