April 2014 Moms

STM's and naps

Hi everyone
First time posting, but I've been following this forum and it's been really helpful, so thank you. My baby girl is 13 weeks and my other daughter is 2.5 yo. I go back to work next week and my husband is a stay at home dad.
We're still struggling with getting baby girl down for decent naps, and I've been handling most of that effort during this maternity leave, since we're both home. Since naps are far from perfect right now, we're wondering how on earth my husband will manage by himself getting the baby down while keeping an eye on our toddler, who also still takes an afternoon nap herself (and, by virtue of being our first child, is used to a whole ritual of stories, etc, before her own nap time).
Bottom line: can any STM's please share any tips about napping with an infant and a toddler? Seems like most books I've been reading are geared more for the first time parent and doesn't address scenarios where you can't structure your life entirely around baby's needs. Would love some good practical advice. Thank you!!

Re: STM's and naps

  • I also have a 2.5 yr old.  We aren't on a strict schedule, but we never have been.  We follow more of a routine.  So whenever the 2.5 yr old is ready to nap (usually shortly after lunch), we put her down regardless of what LO is doing.  We are kind of in a different situation though bc the toddler doesn't require much to go to sleep- just a tuck in and my LO is the opposite- will only nap while being held.  Usually I will put LO down awake to play and then put my 2 yr old down.  Then I will go into my bedroom (so its quieter) and rock LO to sleep.  I think you will need to prioritize the toddler to prevent meltdowns.  GL.  Having a 14 wk old and 2 yr old is no joke!!!!

     

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  • Thank you for your reply! My LO is similar to yours, it seems. She could nap 2-3 hours if she's snuggled right up to me, but if I put her down she's up within minutes. Are you able to get any other naps during the day when your toddler is a awake, or do you hold her for all of her naps? You're right, it's no joke- I'm totally humbled by how hard it is some days. Good luck to you too!
  • I aim to get dd into bed after lunch as soon as I can. As soon as he is intent in her crib I start ds's nap routine (he just turned 3). Even if dd only sleeps 30 minutes that's enough time to get ds settled in his bed for his nap. Some days I have the baby come in to read the nap time story with us, than go put her to bed before puting down my toddler. That buys me a little more time.

    It's tricky, but we have found a routine that works (90% of the time). I'm sure your dh will too
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  • I have 3 boys: 3 months, 23 months, and 7 years. I usually try to nurse baby boy then put him in his swing and then go put the 23 month old down for a nap. Some days I end up rocking both of them at the same time. Good luck! I know it's hard.
  • I have a 3 year old, almost 2 year old and DS3 is almost 3 months. DS1 doesn't nap anymore but he has rest time on the couch while DS2 sleeps. Nap time is around 2 or 2:30 whenever it works out with LO. My suggestion would be to try to keep your toddler routine as best you can and LO will adapt.
  • I have a 2 yo as well. What I do now is after lunch, I feed the baby and settle him in his swing/bouncer where he can be happy for a few minutes. Then I go and get my toddler ready for his nap- diaper change, story, and song. Sometimes the baby will start to cry and I end up with both of them in the rocker reading a story. Once the toddler is down, I usually have 20ish minutes to spend with the baby before he gets swaddled, nursed, and rocked/bounced. I hold him until he's in a deep sleep, then put him down. I usually have 20-30 minutes of peace before the toddler wakes up.

    Morning naps I just put the baby in a wrap or carrier and he sleeps while we're at the park/library/play date/etc. GL!

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  • Your 2 year old is going to have to adjust to a shorter, less elaborate sleep routine. And sometimes one or both kids will have to cry, or you'll have to read stories while feeding/changing/rocking the baby, etc. it's the never ending challenge of having multiple kids at home with you!
  • Your 2 year old is going to have to adjust to a shorter, less elaborate sleep routine. And sometimes one or both kids will have to cry, or you'll have to read stories while feeding/changing/rocking the baby, etc. it's the never ending challenge of having multiple kids at home with you!

    This. I've had to change my 2 yr old's routine. He now gets a diaper change, tuck-in, and kiss. Sometimes he cries a little, sometimes he doesn't. DS2 will take a nap at some point during DS1's and I will get maybe 20 min to myself before one of them wakes up.
  • I've got a 21 month old and the 4.5 month old.  DS1 gets a single story then laid in his crib for a nap.  DS2 naps wherever he is.  So in our house there are a lot of swing and bouncer naps happening.  DS1 goes down right after lunch every day so I time DS2's bottle for during DS1's lunch, lay him down and go to put DS1 down.  If DS2 isn't content, I just hold them both for the story.  You just make it work.

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  • MalyJMalyJ member
    Are there times when baby is calm and can entertain herself? I make naptime for DS (3y) whenever DS2 is calm in his swing, play mat, etc. That way I can give DS2 the routine attention he needs for a good nap. I've even got it timed now so afternoon naps are together and I get a few hours to myself. Score!


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  • cnbeancnbean member
    I have used the EASY routine with both my boys and it makes naptimes so much easier. DS1 is 2.5 and after lunch all we do is change his diaper and tuck him into bed. Sometimes he doesn't fall asleep quickly, but I pretty much just leave him alone unless he is crying. But I don't get him up until the "naptime" is over, even if he didn't actually sleep. Most days he falls asleep with no problems. And LO is pretty similar. I just swaddle and put him down. Some times I have to go in and settle him back down a few times but mostly he is ok to put himself to sleep too. My biggest challenge is to settle him down when the toddler isn't napping. Sometimes that is frustrating, but it could be much worse.
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  • It is so hard to find a balance! I have a 2 yo and a 3 month old. I put my DD down after she eats lunch. My DS is not always a happy camper when i am putting my DD down for a nap. My 2 yo DD is very much routine oriented and needs at least a little bit of a book read after her diaper change. Then i put on her white noise and put her in bed with one of her stuffed animals. If my DS is upset before i put DD down i have him listen to the book with us. If he starts to get upset in his swing when i am almost done reading i just finish reading and put my DD down. Sometimes my DS has to wait a minute or two.
    When my DS goes down for a nap in the morning, my 2 yo always gets upset that i went into the other room to put him down. Sometimes she cries and wakes up my DS and i start all over again. It is a lot of juggling!
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  • Moranju said:

    Thank you for your reply! My LO is similar to yours, it seems. She could nap 2-3 hours if she's snuggled right up to me, but if I put her down she's up within minutes. Are you able to get any other naps during the day when your toddler is a awake, or do you hold her for all of her naps? You're right, it's no joke- I'm totally humbled by how hard it is some days. Good luck to you too!

    LO has one big nap and then cat naps all day on and off. Mostly while being held and sometimes in the swing. We usually get a 30ish min morning nap in the swing. DD was the same way until one day (8 mo) she not only didn't want to be held during sleep, but didn't want to even be rocked to fall asleep! Now she is a great independent sleeper. We tried so many things to get her to sleep alone as a baby and ultimately she had to decide on her own, so we don't even bother trying with this LO anymore.

     

  • DS1 is 2.5 and DS2 is 12 weeks. DS2 accompanies DS1 through the whole naptime routine. DS1 picks out stories, which I read to both boys. Then I change his diaper and we go up to the boys' room. I hold DS2 as we go through DS1's routine. At the end, I say "have a good nap, I'm taking DS2 to mom and dad's room so he can take a nap, I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes,". And then DS1 plays quietly in his bed until he falls asleep. He's usually asleep by the time I check on him ~ 15 minutes later.

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