Belly touching

oxe0nl5 · July 2014

Hi all, so I'm 14 weeks and I'm not showing much yet and I've been able to keep it under wraps at work. I haven't decided if I'm going to wait until I'm showing or say something earlier. However, I'm not looking forward to all the unwanted belly taps and rubs... How do I tell coworkers and strangers to "cut it out" without offending them? This is my first and I have no idea how to do this...

MichaelSC28 · July 2014

HAHA... you know what I actually didn't think this was going to be a problem, except I was at a wedding this weekend and well I have a slight lil bump you could see in my dress. My DH's friend who was the groom comes up and is like Congrats and goes straight in for a rub on the tum tum. I just froze..I didn't know what to do. I didn't say much but I think my facial and body language told the story of woah over boundaries, he kind of pulled back quickly.

I realized that I need to get prepared and have a well excuted phrase ready to go. what do you know next day...another person..I think its cause you can see my lil bump. The person reached in and I acted like I didn't see them moving and wrapped my hands around my bump. They paused and then asked...cause i put up a barrier. I allowed them...because they were friends but strangers I would say " I would rather you not, thanks".

mommy5point0 · July 2014

I have heard that putting one of your hands on the offender's tummy is effective, but I've not yet tried it. :-)

MichaelSC28 · July 2014

@mommy5Point0 haha... hmmm that seems that it would be effective!! =D>

oxe0nl5 · July 2014

@mommy5point0‌, I'm thinking of saying something like "please don't, my skin is very sensitive" or something like that... Hopefully it doesn't offend people at work :0/

oxe0nl5 · July 2014

I love that!! Lol, I'm gonna practice on my close friends and see if it makes them feel weird!

mommy5point0 · July 2014

oxe0nl5 said:
@mommy5point0‌, I'm thinking of saying something like "please don't, my skin is very sensitive" or something like that... Hopefully it doesn't offend people at work :0/

That's nice of you to consider their feelings.

storm08 · July 2014

I'm not sure if I have a really good "don't invade my space look" or if it's the fact that most of my coworkers were too polite to say anything until I offered information about my pregnancy with DS. There's also the fact that most of my coworkers are middle aged men, so besides being extremely inappropriate, it could technically be considered sexual harassment - not that I'd ever report anyone for that, but still. The only people who touched my belly were my sister, SIL, mom, MIL and of course my DH. All with specific permission - except DH.

I had ready a phrase like " I would appreciate it if you could please not touch me, it makes me extremely uncomfortable." I'm in the kill them with kindness camp. It also helps to have a good "don't mess with me look"

2000cougar · July 2014

I've made it very clear to friends and family that there will be absolutely no touching the belly. I'm going to use my arms and hand a lot to block people. I know that DS's preschool teacher is the touchy-feely type, so when we go back in september I'll be blocking the belly and be sure to tell her that simply having my shirt move across my stomach makes me throw up. Usually people don't want to risk being puked on. I really didn't have problems with complete strangers reaching in for a feel.

alibc123 · July 2014

I guess I'm the odd woman out on this one. I dont mind if friends and family touch my belly. If strangers do it it's another thing but that hasnt happened yet so I dont know how I will react.

MichaelSC28 · July 2014

alibc123 said:

I guess I'm the odd woman out on this one. I dont mind if friends and family touch my belly. If strangers do it it's another thing but that hasnt happened yet so I dont know how I will react.

I agree with yah. Dont mind family and close friends touching but acquaintences and others I would just appreciate asking me first.

readyforround2 · July 2014

I've never been eager to touch a pregnant ladies belly and I'm not looking forward to people touching my belly either. I like my space. DH's niece is 5 and we told her a couple weeks ago when we took her to orlando that she was going to have another baby cousin (BIL and his wife had a little girl this past January). Every time I see her now she runs up to me and rubs my belly. The last time I saw her she wasn't happy that I didn't have a belly yet (my SIL is the size of a twig and started showing really early). At first it kind of freaked me out but now I don't mind so much. She's gentle and it's kind of become our bonding time. She's the only one ballsy enough in DH's family to touch my belly because everyone else knows my thoughts on it. Lol once I get bigger I don't think I'd mind them or my family feeling the baby move but I'm not going to sit and let people rub me like my SIL did.

As far as coworkers I'm not super worried about them over stepping my personal space but I am terrified of my students doing it! I work with kids with learning disabilities. Most have Aspergers and don't understand the concept of personal space. I'll need to lay down the law early with them.
@mommy5point0‌ I love that idea! I can't do that to my students but I would definitely do it to a stranger just to see the look on their face! Lol

NatureLovers · July 2014

You have no reason to consider their feelings or to worry about offending them. Touching a pregnant woman's stomach without permission is assault. I'd not only tell them off, I'd file a complaint with HR. No one has the right to touch you.

mellie86041 · July 2014

With DD I got lucky and no one I knew, side from my mom who asked first, ever tried to touch my belly. And I made a friend touch it once because she had said previously she was curious to know what kicks felt like. There was one one lady at the grocery store (a total stranger) who tried to touch, and before I could stop myself, I shouted "I don't know you! Don't touch me!"

We live a lot closer to more family and friends this time around, so I figured the touching would happen more often. Fortunately, I think my mentions of awful MS has kept most people from getting too close so far! DH's grandmother touched the day we told her (I was like 7 weeks at the time) and she got so embarrassed when DH told her she was patting my gassy bloat! But I also plan on using my DD as the reason not to touch (she's actually going through the hitting phase right, so I obviously don't want her doing that to my belly thinking she's touching!)

Jellybean707 · July 2014

I didn't have a single person touch my belly when I was pregnant with DS. Not even when my belly was huge. Maybe it's because I have a bitchy resting face but people were very respectful of my space.

AggieMom0809 · July 2014

It's easy enough to just turn or cover your belly with your hands and most get the hint. The problem is when the baby comes And complete strangers try to touch him. It's a lot harder to turn your baby away especially if they are in a car seat carrier or stroller.

GromMom · July 2014

You know with my first I was all anxious and the only person who really wanted to touch my belly was so excited for me, it wasn't weird at all. Now strangers would be a no no, but no strangers have accosted me, perhaps because I don't tend to make eye contact with strangers, which is where I think they get the idea that you're friendly enough to allow touching.

MusicFanatic · July 2014

alibc123 said:

I guess I'm the odd woman out on this one. I dont mind if friends and family touch my belly. If strangers do it it's another thing but that hasnt happened yet so I dont know how I will react.

I'm in this camp

I don't really have much of a belly yet, but my mom always touches. I know it's because she's excited, so I let her have her moment. I don't care when my friends do the same. If a stranger touches my stomach, they'll be one less arm.

TXUltraRunner · July 2014

sassquatch you just used my favorite word, "asshat"

LaStella25 · July 2014

My friend's drunk boyfriend went to touch my belly when I was 7 weeks (I wasn't showing, but he knew). I freaked out, and I blocked his reach with my arm.

My step dad told me at 12 weeks he wanted to touch my stomach and I just smiled and walked away.

Why do people think it's OK when you aren't showing? I mean, I'm sure when I'm showing, I won't feel comfortable with it either.

Jordan113 · July 2014

With my dad being such a big public figure and us living in such a small town I have to watch what I say and do, Well I'm only 12 weeks pregnant and of course everyone around my town knows it. I'm showing more than a little bump, and everyone thinks I'm further along than I really am, so they grab my belly I guess thinking they can feel a kick or something.. I look at them like they have lost their minds and remove their hands from my belly. Then I have to stop and say "I'm sorry I just feel uncomfortable with people touching me." It's hard being in the public eye and being pregnant I have found I have no filter anymore..

kaybeeknits · July 2014

I teach middle school, and I have a feeling that my students will want to touch my stomach a lot. I'm just bracing myself for it now. (They already want hugs allllll the time)

caraleeb · July 2014

I have no idea, i must have resting b*tch face because no one ever attempted to touch my tummy first time around.

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