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February 2014 Moms
Meghan14
member
SAHM check-in 7/15
Meghan14
member
I hope everyone has had a great week. Is it sad how much I look forward to these?
What were you successes this week?
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
What helped save your sanity?
Topic for the week: How are you balancing everything?
GTKY: (Related to above and can be combined into one answer) What does your typical daily schedule look like?
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
F'14 October Siggy Challenge: Animals in Costumes
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SAHM check-in 7/15
Thanks Meghan14 for running this!
What were you successes this week? DH was actually home this weekend. I considered it a success because it enabled me to get several things done. And, I like that he and C can spend some time together. When DH is busy, I get annoyed that he doesn't spend as much time with C.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week? The last few nights he has been fighting sleep at his normal time. Which means I put him in the Ergo and walk for 30+ min to tire him out. Not sure why he is resisting.
What helped save your sanity? He is going down for a nap in the afternoon. That helps.
Topic for the week: How are you balancing everything? Haha, Im not.
GTKY: (Related to above and can be combined into one answer) What does your typical daily schedule look like? Get up with C. Eat breakfast and try to do my part time gig while he plays on the play mat in the same room. Nurse. Do some household chores, check on the animals. Nurse and nap (him not me). Try to do a little more part time stuff. C wakes up and we play together/read/etc. Eat lunch. Basically repeat with a longer afternoon nap. C plays while I attempt dinner making. Bath and nursing. C goes down (eventually) and I try again to catch up on part-time stuff and household chores. Oh, and bumping here and there...
What were your successes this week?
Going out all by myself on Sunday, having a couple really good and productive days during the week, not losing it with DH on Saturday
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
Two things: First, LO is doing better with naps, but they're still inconsistent. Yesterday he had two 2+ hour naps. But that won't happen every day. So just when I plan to get something done during nap time, it's a short nap. So maybe I've gotten by chores done, but I didn't have a chance to sit down or read or watch TV or whatever. So no break, and I get frustrated. The second thing is that DH worked almost all day Saturday. I got up with LO and was home alone from lunchtime until 9pm. I was on my own for bedtime and all that. I need the weekend to recharge a little, and that so did not happen.
What helped save your sanity?
Iced coffee. Visiting with a friend yesterday. A couple hours away on Sunday. Deciding that some days it's okay if I don't do housework and instead take some me time. LO being so freaking cute.
Topic for the week: How are you balancing everything?
Hahahahahaha. Very carefully? Like I said above, I've decided that it's okay if LO is napping that I sit and catch up on a TV show or read a book. And if I have time after that, I can clean etc. Somedays I know I need to get XYZ done, so everything else gets put on the back burner. I try to have a weekly schedule too -- so Thursdays I clean the bathroom, for example. I know that at some point on Thursday, I have to get that done. When and how is up to me. When I go back to work in the fall, I don't know what's going to happen because I can't -- and won't -- continue to do every single thing in the house.
GTKY: (Related to above and can be combined into one answer) What does your typical daily schedule look like?
So we're actually starting to have one, I think. We wake up around 7:30, though I usually bring LO into my bed until 8ish. Then he plays while I have breakfast and coffee and email/bump/FB. I shower while he hangs out on the playmat. Usually around 9 he goes down for a short nap (30 or 35 minutes). Nurse at 10. Usually go out for errands after that. Morning nap around 11:30. Nurse at 1. Play until LO wants to nap again -- usually 2:30. Nurse at 4. Play. Dinner prep and dinner. LO nap around 5:30. Let DH play with LO. Feed at 7. Play/walk as a family. LO in bed between 8:30 and 9:30
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
What were you successes this week?
We took LO to a baseball game and it went so much better than I even dreamed to hope for. This was a combined with a house guest who came to town for the game. So pretty pleased that it all worked out.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
I feel like I get nothing done. Plus I actually said to DH "you've done nothing wrong, and I'm not angry, but I want to punch you in the face." I then went for coffee with a friend and came back feeling better.
What helped save your sanity?
See above mentioned coffee. I did a few other social things and they all helped quite a bit.
Topic for the week: How are you balancing everything?
Asking this because I feel like I'm not. Someone mentioned last week about being more present with LO. I've been trying, but not doing so great. Then when I get free time instead of being productive I Bump. I feel like I can't start a project because I never know when he'll wake up and for just typical housework stuff I'm giving the house a B.
GTKY: What does your typical daily schedule look like? I asked because I'm looking for ideas. Other than going for either lunch, errands, or a baby class sometime between our 10:00 and 1:30 bottles I think I'm wasting the days away.
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
Maybe I should Bump less? I don't know, I really kinda need this to help with the isolation.
A couple of have mentioned that during naptime productivity is kind of a roller coaster. For me -- and maybe I'm completely nuts -- but that's how I achieve a tiny bit of balance. I can't spend every single minute of naptime working, and I can't spend every single second of it being lazy. So the days where I am lazy are balanced by the days where I get stuff done. Or I work during morning nap and rest during afternoon nap.
@sjelwood I hear you on conversation with DH. Some nights I've got nothing. He'll talk about his day, mostly things I don't understand, and I've already talked to him about everything we did in the 4 minutes after he gets home. So we're on our computers or I'm pumping or we're watching TV. It's hard.
Seeing everyone's routines has helped me not be so worried that ours is "wrong." Thanks, ladies!!
Biggest challenge: DH. And LO not sleeping.
My adorable also has saved my sanity. And relaxing on my patio.
I don't know how I balance anything. I just do what I do I guess. I hate having things hanging over my head so I guess that's a motivating factor.
GTKY:
Wake up, let the dogs out, have coffee on the patio
LO wakes up so I feed her and change her
LO hangs out in her bouncy chair while I clean
LO goes down for a nap and I water the flowers and garden and do whatever else needs to be done
Then we spend the afternoon playing and reading and singing with feedings thrown in
Late in the afternoon LO takes another nap - or just hangs out in her PNP - while I work on dinner
DH gets home and spends time with LO while I finish dinner
After we eat I give LO a bath, feed her, and put her down for the night
Then I clean the kitchen, pick up, etc.
What were you successes this week?
Last week was very busy and I still feel like I got a lot done and was productive. House finances for the quart done, construction projects finished and others started, and the house is presentable. I feel like I am getting better at being present for nursing and cuddles (because I scheduled it in).
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
I have been struggling with just the energy and motivation to get everything done. I also have a very sweet picture of LO and I, and all I saw at first was my self (not happy about that).
What helped save your sanity?
I have scheduled me time. Once a week it's DH being primary care giver, and every other day I get down time during a nap. I get to do something creative or just veg in front of the tv.
Topic for the week: How are you balancing everything?
Every night I make a list of my priority tasks, and like to do tasks. Then I set my self up for success in the morning. For example, I start laundry when we go to bed, but if another load needs to be done right after, it's sitting in the basket next to the machines. I don't have to gather anything, or check pockets. It right there ready to go.
I am also adjusting my priorities. If LO was 'ignored'(read quality time) today's because something big needed more time, I make sure that tomorrow she gets lots of time and focus. I'm also prioritizing me time. The super cape needs to stay in the closet, I can only do so much in a given day.
If each day is encapsulated in a jar, my priority things are the large rocks, the rest are pebbles. I have a choice of making the pebbles fit around the rocks, or poring all the pebbles in, and leaving no room for the rocks.
I also really try to follow this advice. https://www.livingwellspendingless.com/2011/02/16/10-tips-for-getting-more-done-each-day/
GTKY: : (Related to above and can be combined into one answer) What does your typical daily schedule look like?I had to think about this one for a while, because recently my days have been all over the place. Before and after every nap, we have a 5 min cuddle and nurse.
5ish wake up, rotate laundry, nurse/change LO. Get out the door for animal tending while she sleeps in the truck.
7ish home for breakfast, 30 min of play time. Then some self play time while I do the most daunting choir of the day. Start the crock pot if needed, or other long kitchen project.
10-11 a nap window. We nurse and cuddle up in bed. I read out load MY book till she is nicely out. Then another priority house choir with some laundry folding. Sometimes it's a 20 min nap, others it's a 2 hour nap. Lunch, and shower happen in this time frame. Once she is up, it is play time followed by a walk around (if not too hot) checking that everyone is happy. p> 1-2 is another nap window. I watch for any ques then we cuddle up in bed and start the nap time routine. Once she is out, I typically do the daily house choir(floor, bathroom, ect) and have down time if she takes a longer nap. I may transfer her to the truck if I need to work out of the house.
4-5 nap window. This nap is almost always 30 min.
5-7 DH comes home and we have dinner. If she is up, she hangs out in her high chair and grabs food off our plate(her favorite game with Dad). Daddy daughter time while I clean up.
7 outside to tend to the animals as a family. This is when the adults get to talk. LO is kicking around in her bouncer checking everything out. Depending on the day, we will continue on a project, or relax at home.
10ish DH gets her ready for bed (diaper and book) then I nurse and sing to her. After she is down I will do a quick 20 min clean and tidy of the house. This is is also when I set me self up for the next day.
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
Sometimes I feel like I don't have enough interaction with her. I think that is part of the FTM fear that I'm doing something wrong. I am just trying to accept my own limitations in our own life. I can't compare my life to others, but it can be hard. Can someone come tell me exactly how and when we are to do things? Because it's hard and frustrating trying to figure it out and then it all changes again (I know welcome to motherhood)..I'm also nervous because I will be watching a friends children for 3 months while she gets her self situated(major life change). While I like the idea of the extra cash, I'm nervous because everything will change in a schedule that mostly works for us.
My successes this week were staying somewhat sane and reaching out to a lot of friends.
My biggest struggle... A very good friend lost her battle with cancer this week. She was incredible. We spent every day together for almost a year and a half before we moved apart. Her two babies are three and eighteen months.
I really am struggling. It was expected but I apparently wasn't ready. I'm so glad she's beyond pain but I feel like I hear her laugh and voice constantly and can't believe I won't again. I am exhausted and not sleeping well and having trouble being patient and calm, which makes me feel guilty because I should be grateful to be here with my babies when she can't be with hers and instead I feel a bit resentful because I can't drive twelve hours to her memorial with two kids in tow.
@RondackHiker I'm sorry to hear of your loss. This hits very close to home with me. Can you have your own private memorial service? That way you can remember the good times and honor her memory. It's hard to be thankful of what you have, when you feel such loss of a person so close to you.
@Flyingtoast : Your productivity amazes me. I am in complete awe of your ability to do so much. I go to Kroger and I think I'm a champ. You are awesome. I still find myself checking I look ok in pictures before enjoying that LO is in it. Is that what you meant? I find myself doing it less and less has he is getting to have more and more of a personality, but still a hard habit to break. It has made me realize how vain I can be. Don't feel badly about it. Making a list of priorities is a good idea. Why is it something I did so frequently and easily before LO seems like rocket science now?
I am have frequent conversation with myself similar to what you ladies are describing. Today I narrated the laundry.
@goobermom : I am glad you are finding a way to have some time for yourself. I saw you mentioned joining bookclub. Now I'm eager to go see what book they decided on. I'm sorry your H is so busy. I love hearing about the farm stuff from you and @Flyingtoast because I have no clue.
I think I got LO back to napping well. She transitioned quickly out of her swaddle and slept through the night right away. But she wasn't napping well. She's falling asleep well again and is going longer stretches.
I had a good talk with SIL. She lives close by and could be a huge support. But we were having some issues. Things are better after our talk.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
Balancing working from home, keeping the house up, raising LO, and being a good wife. I've also been struggling with my self esteem lately. I know it's the PPD. Some days are better than others.
What helped save your sanity?
Getting out of the house everyday. My depression gets worse if I just sit at home.
Topic for the week: How are you balancing everything?
This is a good one. I haven't balanced things very well. But I'm going to start designating certain days for thing (day to work, day to clean, day to run errands). I think giving energy to one thing in addition to taking care of LO might help me feel more balanced.
GTKY: (Related to above and can be combined into one answer) What does your typical daily schedule look like?
This is ideally how the day will go. However, I've been all over the map with the exception of wake up and bed time since LO hadn't been napping well.
5:45 - pump
6 - nurse, shower, play with LO
8 - nap
10 - nurse, play with LO, get stuff done
12- nap time, work
2 - nurse, play with LO
4 - nap time
6 - nurse, make dinner, H comes home, family time
7:30 - bottle of BM, pjs, overnight diaper, nurse, down to bed by about 8.
8-10 - adult time!
dx PCOS 2007
BFP #1 (natural) 12/23/2010. Stillbirth due to IC 4/2/2011
TTC #2 starting 03/2012
RE starting 07/2012
05/2013 BFP on a Letrozole (Femara)/trigger!
Cerclage, Procardia, Makena, GD (with insulin), MBR, and we made it!
Our Angel was born sleeping at 20 weeks due to IC.
My personality needs to be busy. When I have too much down time, it will spend too much time in my head picking apart things that aren't broken (if you know what I mean). I try to make each task as productive as possible. In retail I though OHIO, only Handel it once. I try to keep this mantra in mind. If I'm going to do it, only do it once. It helps greatly that I have a chill baby. She hasn't been overly difficult, but she also doesn't know any other way
If our goal of being completely homesteading supported in 2 years is to happen, we have lots of work to be done, and not that much time to do it.
@goobermom Can you go out to the hay fields? DH helps with haying after his normal job (barter for a discount on our hay). I will go out and bring them a hearty meal. Depending on how it's going, I will hop in and drive a tractor or truck/trailer so they can have a break. Obviously this depends on how comfortable you are with the equipment, but I love the change of pace. It's baby free time where I get to jam out to music of my choice. The guys also love a real meal and cold drinks. They will never admit it, but they love to hold her and play.
seriously TB, your making me try to remember my HTML coding from the my space days. Stop it.
@RondackHiker, truly sorry for your loss... hang in there.
What were you successes this week?
Hmmmm... I guess that we found a house to move into, though its bittersweet because we'll be leaving SF for the East Bay. This is good in many ways but I am really going to miss our neighborhood here and the pace of life just outside our front door!
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
DH's uncle lost his battle with pancreatic cancer so we're gearing up for family flying in over the weekend to attend funeral services. I think this has been really hard on DH even though we knew it was coming so I'm just trying to keep things going as smoothly as possible for now. Juggling in-laws, moving arrangements (t-2 weeks), DD's inconsistent rhythm lately... Oh, and my iPhone died yesterday so I got to spend all morning getting it replaced and a new one setup - fun.
What helped save your sanity?
Meetups with my friends for girl/mama time! Hiring a moving company to do the heavy lifting, hopefully securing a cleaning service next, Apple handling the bulk of the new phone situation, a glass of wine in the evenings and a few times a week, a decadently long shower rather than the usual rush.
Topic for the week: How are you balancing everything?
Like a gymnast, LOL. Considering, I think I'm doing pretty well, though I do seem to be using everything else as a bit of an excuse to delay job hunting for myself. I'm not totally ready to get back out there in the professional world so it feels easier to manage the household needs.
GTKY: (Related to above and can be combined into one answer) What does your typical daily schedule look like?
This is by no means strict and we adapt as needed...
10:00am - head out for whatever errands need doing that day, usually a few hours
noon - home, lunch/nurse, play time, maybe a short nap for DD and me continuing with the stuff begun earlier
2:00pm - meetup for something social, whether a friend for a walk, coffeeshop chat, play date with the kiddos
4:30pm - home for DD's solid afternoon nap, lounge time for me... usually some quality bonding time with the dog
5:30-6ish - DH gets home most days, plays with DD while I finish whatever daily business there is, start prepping dinner so it can be ready to cook once DD is down for the night
7ish - I give DD a bath, then pump so DH can have a bit of bonding feeding her while I cook
8ish - DD goes to bed, usually with the help of DH but on fussier nights, she wants me so we put dinner on-hold and I take care of her first
8:30-9ish - dinner and adult conversation sometimes followed by mindless TV until I fall asleep on the couch and wander to bed, anytime from 10-midnight
challenges: spending quality time with her when my 2yo is so demanding and needy too.
Sanity: coffee and wine. Honestly just getting more sleep has helped! I'm taking the girls on a road trip next week and hoping to get some quality girl time with a friend after my kids go to sleep. Praying they'll sleep well
Balance: afore mentioned vacation to see my friend is a big part of finding balance, but I've also been taking the girls to the gym daycare more so I can workout/shower/ relax while they play. It's nice to just have some quiet time.
Schedule:
7am wake up, breakfast, nurse diaper, attempt to make coffee
8:30 nurse, naptime for dd, chores and bible study for dd1 and I
9:30 nurse, diaper and then off to an activity/ play date or the gym
11:30 home and outside playtime
12 lunch followed by stories diapers and nursing 1:00-3 naptime for them, chores, reading or work for me, dinner prep
3:00 snack/nurse, playtime
4:30 daddy's home, finish dinner
5:00 eat/nurse
6:00 playtime or a walk or swimming at the gym
7:00 pjs, stories, bed for the girls
8-9:30 couple time 9:30 bedtime for us. Dd2 is up around 12 or 2 to eat most nights.