Really? DH has an opinion on this?

MommyAtty · July 2014

A huge bone of contention between DH and me is that he doesn't seem to ever have an idea or opinion about any parenting thing ever. So I end up making all the decisions. Who's the dentist, pediatrician, and hair stylist. What toys to buy. Which books would be good for DD. Whether to give Tylenol and when. Everything. So yesterday, we take both kids to their well child check ups. I had switched diaper bags from our backpack to a thinner bag we got from the hospital where I delivered. He complained for almost half an hour! Apparently he has very strong feelings about diaper bags. He DID pick the backpack, but really? This is where he's going to assert himself? Lol! And I couldn't complain since I normally complain that he doesn't have an opinion! So I just agreed the backpack is superior and promised to change back.

justjinny · July 2014

Hm... it sounds to me like your DH just won the job of official diaper bag packer in your house!

My DH definitely picks and chooses what he wants to be involved with or not. Last week he balked at writing the check for daycare and taking it when he picked up DS. Apparently, I am the one in charge of all things related to paying & communicating with daycare in our house. A month ago it was the hair clippers I bought to do DS's haircuts with - I guess there's a huge deal with a corded vs. cordless style in his mind and of course I got the wrong type. It can be maddening what they decide to be assertive on and what other things they nearly ignore!

itsmevkb · July 2014

This is hilarious.

wildflower75 · July 2014

Men... HAHAHA!
Funny creatures...
I'm sure my DH has done something similar... pregnancy brain won't let me remember any specifics...

jtmomma13 · July 2014

Sounds like my house!

summererobinson · July 2014

Sounds pretty much like a man. and they say women are insane

radiohd18 · July 2014

DH asks me all the time if he can hold DD. It's the weirdest thing to me. I keep telling him that he doesn't have to ask my permission. I don't want to be the one "in charge," but I just end up being it. I'm the one that makes sure LO has everything she needs, I'm always thinking about transitions, breastfeedings, patterns and routines, vaccinations and general upbringing, etc and I am the one doing all of the research for it. He doesn't seem to be doing any of that.

SunAndRain · July 2014

rds51510 said:

. I'm the one that makes sure LO has everything she needs, I'm always thinking about transitions, breastfeedings, patterns and routines, vaccinations and general upbringing, etc and I am the one doing all of the research for it. He doesn't seem to be doing any of that.

This is how it is in our house too. Works for me because I'm a control freak. Works for DH cause...well I can't explain why but it does. DH does other household stuff that I don't want to or can't do: pool maintenance, cat litter cleaning, everything that need to be fixed (I've never had to call a handyman). He does most of the cooking, I do all the laundry. He says he "can't" make it to DD's pedi appointments - well, I work full time too...I just work around my work.

I realized at some point that we are a highly productive and functioning team.

radiohd18 · July 2014

@sunandrain- I should've mentioned this. DH does do the yard work and fixing around the house. He also make dinner most nights. I think I feel this way because DD seems like such a massive responsiblity compared to mowing the lawn and trimming back the hedges and I don't know if I like bearing all of the weight of decision making.

SunAndRain · July 2014

rds51510 said:

@sunandrain- I should've mentioned this. DH does do the yard work and fixing around the house. He also make dinner most nights. I think I feel this way because DD seems like such a massive responsiblity compared to mowing the lawn and trimming back the hedges and I don't know if I like bearing all of the weight of decision making.

I apologize, I didn't mean for my post to imply that your DH wasn't doing anything to contribute. I hope I didn't come off that way. I agree that raising a child is far more responsibility than house and yard work; there is really no comparison, is there?

I guess I would find it exhausting if there had to be a discussion about most decisions around DD that had to be made. I'm too impatient. I'm too much of a control freak. I know I can rely on DH to help with the big things, or if I'm not sure which decision is the right one. Though in some cases, like medical concerns, between me and DH it is the blind leading the blind; I call the nurse for advice. And truly, he had his own diaper bag cause I didn't want him messing up mine . But I get that not everyone is a control freak like I am.

It struck me as funny that your DH felt strongly about a diaper bag, of all things. I'm betting he is in awe of your parenting awesomeness and completely trusts your instincts and capability . You know what they say: lead, follow, or get out of the way!

radiohd18 · July 2014

No worries @sunandrain. I just realized that when you mentioned the things your DH does, I shouldn't overlook the things that mine does. It's so easy for me to bitch and moan about baby stuff and overlook that he does so much of the other things that also need to get done.

I am a total control freak about this baby.

alisonc87 · August 2014

My DH already decided that he didn't like any of the diaper bag options I gave him, so I have a diper bag for work (I will be taking baby with me, as I work in an infant/toddler childcare room), and one for everyday that are a little more "purse like" and feminine. My DH got a Superman one (yes he is a comic book nerd

) but he knows it is his responsibility to keep it packed and ready to go. I figure if he has an opinion, I'll give him what he wants. My dad also requested that when he takes the baby he gets the Superman bag. lol

MommyAtty · August 2014

This morning, another couple commented on our backpack diaper bag when we were out at breakfast. DH was very smug. Lol. He said, "See? I told you it was cool." Yes, dear. You have excellent taste in diaper bags.

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