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February 2014 Moms
keags5496
member
Opinions needed re: Travel plans (tl;dr)
keags5496
member
This is going to be a PNR because we have swimming lessons to get to, but I'll be back around lunch to check things out. Here's the situation....DH's family has a little cabin on a lake in waaaaaaay upstate maine (like, hi Canadian border upstate). Apparently, his family has decided that it isn't worth the cost of upkeep and are tearing it down at the end of summer. He wants to go up with his parents and us. The problem is that I reaeeeeeeeeeeally don't want to go. Here's why in list form.
1. It's a 8-10 hour ride on way and DS2 does not like his car seat unless he's sleeping. Plus, a 3 yo in the car for that long is hard.
2. It scares the hell out of me to be so far from civilaztion and good medical care with both kids.
3. It would be two weeks before I went back to school and as my teacher friends can relate to, those weeks are sacred. They're the get organized, get zen, get prepared for the school year weeks. Plus, they're my last two weeks home with my babies and I don't want to share them.
4. I can't stand my in-laws. FIL is a baby/child hog big time and I end up having to be a bitch a lot. MIL then apologize profusely for me having to be a bitch and it's annooooooying. They also think its appropriate to put my non-swimming 3 year old on a tube behind a boat. Even with an adult that is a no-go for me so I feel like I need to keep my eye on them constantly.
5. I have no idea the condition of the cabin. DH says is fine, but he hasn't been there in years and if its bad enough that they're tearing it down...well...
Buuuuut, on the other hand it's DHs last chance to see a place that has really fond childhood memories for him. So what would you do? Would you suck it up and go or stick to your guns and not go?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Opinions needed re: Travel plans (tl;dr)
I'd talk to him about your hesitation, but make it clear you understand why he wants to go. And that he can go, solo.
Will he/your ILs be upset the kids aren't going?
I mentioned the length of the ride last night and his comment was that we could break it up. It's still that long in the car no matter how to cut it.
Your other concerns are valid, but will not come across well (2,4). The condition of the cabin can be included in your expectations conversations. 'I feel that since the cabin is in an unknown condition, I will end up constantly on kid safety duty while everyone else XYZ.' I personally would bring up the financial side of it , because that always works with my DH. If you drive up with your parents, that means we save $$ for our family to go to the beach, to pay off this bill, ect.
@Flyingtoast it would be 8.5 without traffic or stops so realistically it would probably be over ten hours one way. His rationale is we could do the bulk of the ride while they're sleeping but that also means no sleep for me because I can't sleep in a car.
Don't underestimate the importance of #3!! You know whether or not your husband truly understands that concept or not, so you can decide how much to use it in an argument, but don't let him argue against it!
If you were to agree to go, can you make a deal with DH, about how much help he has to provide when there? And maybe get some days/nights to yourself when you return?
Eta: I have some in-laws who never want to do anything with our family, and I see how sad it makes my parents. Those siblings are constantly making excuses to get out of things. I'm not saying that is what you are doing, but it always changes my view on the IL threads. And believe me, there are times I can't stand DH's fam!
As for the deal, even of it were made...Im fairly positive it wouldn't be kept up.