October 2014 Moms
osuna6
member
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No babyshower :(
osuna6
member
I will be having my 3rd child and I have never had a babyshower. 
I thought I was gonna have one this time but I guess not. I doesn't really hurt me but it's kinda sad.
I thought I was gonna have one this time but I guess not. I doesn't really hurt me but it's kinda sad.
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Re: No babyshower :(
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
Also, are you new here? An intro would probably have been nice prior to this post.
I also think where I'm from, a shower is not a "fun party with my lady friends," it's a 100-person affair. I think that's probably the difference. I'd definitely want a fun party with my lady friends for Baby #2. Not a shower. I hardly want the first one.
Also, when most people around you are offered one except for you, it can be disappointing. I know I feel sad every so often when I'm constantly being invited to other people's wedding showers, baby showers, etc and I think about how I wasn't offered one by anyone close to me.
I think that's why I have Feelings about second and third showers. Like. You got 100 presents the last time, why beg for more? What could you possibly need? But I CERTAINLY realize that MOST other showers really ARE intimate affairs. And I'm jealous of those. I don't want anyone to think I don't want to celebrate babies. I really do. Just. Showers are definitely just status things and gift grabs here, and they are REALLY frowned upon to do a second or third time. And ya don't throw ya own. Never.
It is kinda of a bummer to not be thrown one especially if you make a point to attend and shower others. I was in a similar mood before someone offered to throw me. I am sorry that you did not get to have one for your 1st baby.
I agree with pp that you can do a "sip & see" once little one arrives. That way you can still celebrate the occasion and people can see the new kid!
Wow 100 people. My shower is going to be like 14 people and its just my closest friends and family. I'm looking forward to it as most of my closest friends live far away and its an excuse for them to come visit and for us to get some quality time together. Most are staying for the whole weekend and two are staying an extra day or two beyond. I don't even care about the presents, present enough that I get to see a bunch of women I really care about.
I am sorry @osuna6 that no one has ever thrown you a shower. It would make me tremendously sad if I didn't have family or friends that were willing to do that because a shower truly is a lovely gift. I hope your support circle finds other ways to help you celebrate your third child.
I am so sorry, hopefully someone surprises you with a little something. It sucks to not have your life choices celebrated.
The friend who offered my is child-less by choice. She has never been married so when she bough her house last year I helped her throw an awesome (IMHO
) housewarming party because that is what friends do when big things happen in each others lives.
Really, if people would just stop calling this second shower business a SHOWER and just say "oh, I'm having a second baby, and I'm having a party to celebrate" I'd have little to no issues. I'm tellin' you what to do and how to sneak it by, ladies. Take note.
The thing is, you can feel sad. I get it. I will probably feel sad the second time around. Maybe. Not sad, really, but. I don't know. Like people were like "been there, done that." I get it. I really do, and I think I'll feel similarly. That's fine. But there's nothing you can really do about it. You can't force someone to throw you a second or third baby shower. So instead, I'd just throw my own BBQ and call it a day. Even better, throw a BBQ and make it about your Baby #1 becoming a big sibling. It's like, you know, I felt sad that this baby isn't a boy. I was SO convinced it was a boy. I wanted either, but I was convinced it was a boy, and it felt like this picture of this boy in my head was dead and gone. I felt sad for a while. But I can't change it, and I just decided to focus on all the positives of having a girl instead.
For people who are sad about it, I can understand, but it's silly to feel that way because probably they aren't getting the offers because people feel the way I (and many others) do. It already happened, and you don't get another shower, so they literally CANNOT throw you one. It's not because they don't want to, it's because it's not acceptable or even worth it to do so--because you don't NEED anything. If those people are truly friends, they will come through in other ways for baby #2 and beyond.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
I think we're on the same page. Bummed that no one is throwing you a shower for your first baby? I completely would understand it. Second or third, no, I don't think I would understand it, but I WOULD understand the second baby being kinda...been there, done that, not as much excitement from others.
I just think, you know, rather than feel bummed about it, throw a party to celebrate yourself (not a shower). It's really the next best thing, because there's nothing you could do about it anyway, and by doing that, maybe you can let go of the disappointment. That's the point I was trying to make and failing. I understand feeling bummed. But it's not worth the feelings.
As someone who has been there, this is actually a really upsetting topic. It's really easy to tell someone to move on, but in practice it's not quite that easy. And no, I'm not saying it's not easy to walk away from having a shower or to have a no-gifts party post arrival, I'm talking about the deeper feelings associated with topics of this nature, which is beyond the scope of showers or presents.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.