Parental nudity

ReeceFamily · July 2014

DD has definitely already noticed a) that we have genitals and b) that daddy's are different than mommies. The other day, when DH got out the shower, DD ran up, pointed directly at his junk and said "Uh oh!!!". I was peeing the other day, and she ran over and pointed at my crotch and said "What's that?"

We are being direct about anatomy, calling body parts by the correct names, etc. So my question...is seeing parents nude appropriate at this age? I remember feeling disturbed about my dad walking around nude as a kid, but based on my memories I think I was older, maybe 5 or 6. How is your family handling this?

martha919 · July 2014

OMG, 5 or 6? I would have been traumatized. I hated seeing my dad in his underwear, even, but that didn't happen very often. At our LO's age I think it's perfectly fine, but it's up to you. I think once you notice your kids looking for some privacy for themselves, that's probably a good time to stop. Or if you all are uncomfortable.

RN2011 · July 2014

My DH covers up when our DD is around but I think that's more because he's uncomfortable being naked around her. I'm more comfortable about it maybe because we are both girls but I think once I notice that she is starting to really pay attention I'll probably be more cautious about being naked around her.

littleheaven · July 2014

i don't mind dd running in on me in the bathroom or the shower...and dh has no problem with showering with her if she's a mess and he's in the shower and no time for bath....

i also have no problem getting dressed in front of her, but he will not...he makes sure she's nowhere around when he gets out of the shower and puts on his boxers...then it's fair game...however, not to be too much tmi, but he hangs out in his boxers a lot, and well, he hangs out of his boxers if you catch my drift...so he's been wearing shorts more often now...

i think now that she's talking more and observing more i think he'll care more...i probably won't....i think if we had a son it might be reversed?

she hasn't shown any signs of needing privacy, except once in the tub i touched her belly button and said ding dong and she said no, and turned away from me...but that was it...

she has noticed touching herself though...in the tub and during diaper changes....fun

edit to add...along with the belly button ding dong...dh is also known to not wear a shirt...he's always hot....so somehow we got her to push his nipples and say ding dong...didn't think much of it until one day i was changing and well, she ding donged me...and one time at my parents, i had on a lower cut shirt, and she just pushed by boobs (nothing more than top boob was exposed) and ding donged...it was hilarious...so now i wonder/fear she does this at school too....hence been trying to "ding dong" her belly button instead

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

It's not really something i think about. I guess just because Thoren has never made a thing about it? He has noticed that mommy is different than him and daddy, and thinks that boobies make an awesome pillow lol, but other than that it's not something that's ever come up. We've all showered together for convenience and water saving sake in the past, and he thought it was a blast lol. I think it is different for everyone. I think once he starts really commenting on it, i might change my tune, but we'll see. I just don't want to send the message that the body is something to be ashamed about ya know? But at the same time what to teach him appropriate group behaviour.. It's a pain is what i'm saying haha.

OakTreeMommy · July 2014

I think of myself as a pretty conservative person but I must have grown up in what they call a "naked house". I say that because I saw all members of my family naked fairly often in our house and it is a bit of a family joke.

I can't see us ever getting to a point where we feel like we need to cover up around our DS. I think when he gets the the point where he doesn't want us to see him naked or see us naked we'll cover up. Until that point as a pp said I too don't ever want to send him the message that we should be ashamed of our bodies.

spainy17 · July 2014

DD sees me naked fairly often but DH is more modest because she is a girl. She is interested in her privates and all body parts and I have had to tell her to be gentle with them more than once! She even tries to stick her bath toys on there! I thought boys were the only ones that do that this early, ugh! Silly girl. I think that at this age it us all curiosity and it is important to learn about body parts and privates. Nudity is part of that. Eventually it transitions to modesty but right now they are learning.

ungraceful13 · July 2014

I change in front of DD and so does DH but we rarely walk around naked. She hasn't seemed to notice the differences yet. I don't think we will change anything until she starts to seem uncomfortable.

easton2131 · July 2014

I personally would cover up, I do now with Dd(17.5mo). idk it just makes me uncomfortable lol. my mom used to not care around me when I was young... I'm almost 28 and still horrifically traumatized

DCKate · July 2014

I change in front of DD all the time. DH is a little uncomfortable so he comes out of the bathroom post shower in boxers. My mom changed in front if me all the time, and I still change in front of mom and my sister. I don't know if I will feel differently around a son, but I do know that seeing my mom in all her hippie glory (ie, no waxing) definitely made me feel a lot more comfortable about my body.

DD is showing some interest in her vagina on occasion in the bath or when I change her. I just tell her that's her vagina and her body. It's ok to explore (as long as she's clean and not mid-change).

Even though I was raised in a very positive home growing up, I hated my body for a long time. I never felt skinny enough. I want DD to feel totally comfortable with her body and I hope I can help her feel that way.

ReeceFamily · July 2014

Thanks everyone! Sounds like consensus is not to worry about this until DD shows signs of modesty.

@Martha919 - I know, I was so horrified by my dad's penis at 5. I have this memory of being in the shower with him eye level with his junk. It had a long-lasting effect on me that I don't want to subject DD to!

@kittynap - That is hilarious!!!

jobiann · July 2014

I grew up in a pretty conservative household, but my Mom always walked around in her bra and undies with us kids around. DH and I are pretty private, we don't go to the bathroom with one another in the bathroom and we do lock the bathroom door when we go in to do our business therefore locking DS out. Sometimes he gets upset and pounds on the door. But I'm just not willing to bend on my 'peace while pooping' stance...he only cries for a few seconds and then goes down the hall to his bedroom to play with toys/read a book, etc.

We have friends who have a 10 year old boy and they all walk around naked a lot....it hasn't seemed to traumatize him any!

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

I grew up in an EXTREMELY modest household. So much so, that i have never in my life seen either of my parents when they weren't completely clothed. The least i have ever seen either of them in is a t-shirt and shorts. I've never seen my dad without a shirt, and my mother sleeps fully dressed head to toe, including wearing a bra. I am talking amish modesty here folks. I've never even seen them hold hands, or kiss, i've seen them hug when someone died. That's it. Growing up, my bedroom door, was exactly 1.5 feet from my bathroom door, but say, i forgot my clothes before taking a shower? I would get in trouble if i had been caught in a towel going from one room to the next. I don't want to place that kind of stigma on T, it took me a very long time to get past being utterly ashamed of my body.. I couldn't even be intimate without a shirt on until after T was born and my shame had been pretty thoroughly vanquished. We don't walk around naked really, but it's summer and this is texas, so i spend a lot of time at home in what amounts to little more than boy shorts and a loose tank top, and i don't have a problem changing in front of him. Maybe it's that i really don't want him to feel like i did growing up.. I dunno.

ReeceFamily · July 2014

@AshleyDehaven - Wow - they seriously got mad if you were in a towel? That's ridiculous.

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

@ReeceFamily - oh yeah, when i was like.. 6? Me and my grandmother got read the riot act by my mom because she bought and let me wear a two piece bathing suit. I was always a chubby kid, see, so she didn't think it was appropriate for that much of me to be showing. It was basically a tankini. That attitude never improved. I love my parents don't get me wrong, but we disagree pretty strongly on a lot of things. I wasn't aloud to wear strapless dresses to my proms without a cover up because my arms were flabby, and i was overweight..

ReeceFamily · July 2014

@AshleyDehaven - So they were shaming you because you weren't the perfect weight. NICE. I would have a hard time not being really pissed at my parents, even as an adult.

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

@ReeceFamily - It wasn't QUITE like that, see, my entire family is plus size. Mom was incredibly thin growing up, but after having my sister and i, her weight was a major struggle for her, and something she was very ashamed of. She didn't want me to be teased, or embarrassed like she felt. She went about the whole situation way wrong, and believe me, i have REALLY bad moments sometimes where i still get really ticked off by the whole thing. But i do understand where she was coming from, even if what it turned into was completely screwed up.

ReeceFamily · July 2014

@AshleyDehaven - well, that sounds a bit better but still. God, I hope I don't do well-intentioned but not great stuff to my child like that. I'm sure we all have our blind spots, though.

Come to think of it, my mom PAID my sister to lose weight as a teenager...and she was only mildly overweight. That's pretty bad, too.

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

@ReeceFamily - Yep, it's like as parents, in the name of protecting us, they sort of.. Lost their common sense? That's the best way i have been able to justify it. I know what was going through her mind, i just think that in the end what she accomplished was making me feel enormous amounts of shame, when what she was trying to do was help me. Every parent messes up though, ya know? On the whole, i grew up in a home free of any sort of physical or intended verbal abuse, and what they did say i don't think it ever dawned on them was harmful.. They tried their best, and they ADORE my son.

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