Occasional babysitter advice?

pb_bride · July 2014

I SAH and M is 20m. I've always cared for him and I can count on 1 hand how many times someone other than myself and DH had watched M. It's either my ILs or SIL, and they come to my house for a few hours during the morning or afternoon.

Anyway, I've decided to hire a babysitter (tentatively 2-3 mornings per month) just to give myself a break. M is approaching the terrible 2s and some days I'm in tears and it's not even 12 noon. I don't want to ask my ILs b/c it's not their job. I want to have peace and quiet when I go run an errand/grocery shop without the fear of M screaming/tantruming, or the need to rush home to relieve DH.

So, this babysitter is actually one of my mom friend's babysitter. She has been watching my friend's DD since she was 3m (she is now 21m). The babysitter turns out to live just 2 blocks from me, and she also speaks the language I speak to M with. I have met her a few times before I asked her to be M's babysitter. She seems nice and reliable. She has 3 kids (5, 8, 10) and her kids seem very well behaved. I've seen them w/my friend's DD - they play well w/her and they are very protective of her.

My friend has no complaints or qualms about her babysitter, though admittedly, she is quite a relaxed parent. She basically told me that as long as her DD seems happy and well cared for, she doesn't really care what her babysitter does. (her babysitter does take her DD out - to library/playground/splash pad etc - and my friend does not request to be notified).

Our tentative arrangement is for M to go in the morning for 2-3 hours. The babysitter says she can provide lunch for M. She also told me that there will be no TV at her house.

This is all new to me and I am feeling anxious leaving M with a "stranger" for the first time. I will stay with M at the babysitter's house the first time he goes there so he'll get used to the place & people. I don't know what else I should ask the babysitter about or request her to do/not do? Any other tips/advice/words of wisdom?

TIA!

queenbone · July 2014

No tips, but that sounds awesome!! I could really use something like that for a few times a month, or once a week. It is so hard to find occasional childcare when you SAH and it sucks to have to drag LO to every dr or other apt. This is part of the reason why my hair and eyebrows always look so crazy, I seldom can figure out how to get there w/o them.

Basically, I think this is a great opportunity for you, enjoy!

Mrs.AmyDylan · July 2014

Try it out! The language thing is a great bonus. M may or may not tolerate being left without you. I think you need to be flexible. Maybe start with shorter than 2-3 hrs while he adjusts?

J seems to do well at our house with my parents, my brothers, or her (new this summer) sitter. She absolutely loses her shit if I leave her elsewhere, except my parents house. This includes the church nursery where her only non-family sitter helps out. J is 18mo.

Good luck!!

TJ1979 · July 2014

The most important thing is good communication with the sitter. Make sure your expectations are very clear to her.
We use a notebook with our nanny. If I want to make sure I tell the nanny something, E was sick last night or has a bug bite or whatever, I put it in the notebook. In turn, the nanny writes down what E eats and what time, her nap, anything that might happen like a fall or boo-boo. And I also have her write down the last diaper change time of the day so I know when she needs to be changed again.
I would also request To be notified of their plans for the day when you drop him off. Especially if they plan to leave the house. But that's just me.
Make sure the sitter has all the necessary contact info, any allergies, food issues, if M is scared if anything (thunder, dogs) or anything M is particular about.
And just really emphasize communication. She needs to be able to tell you anything and everything.
GL! You really deserve some time to do things alone.

MJC1116 · July 2014

One thing that really helped whenever someone other than my mom or in-laws watched E was to sing her the "Mommy Song." I started when I went back to work, and even though it's totally cheesy, she loves it. We still sing it sometimes and she's 4 1/2. Basically, the song goes "Mommy comes back, she always comes back, she always comes back for E. Mommy comes back, she always comes back, she always comes back for me." There's no real tune.. I just made something up and it stuck. When she got a little older, I'd throw in other names instead of hers to be funny and she always got a laugh. Our babysitter would sing it when I'd leave.

Good for you for getting out! Enjoy your "Mommy" time

pb_bride · July 2014

Thank you all! I really hope M will do okay at the babysitters, though I have a feeling he may not. I definitely plan to stay with him on our first day, so it's more like a play date than babysitting. M takes a while to warm up to new people, but once he does, he's quite affectionate (he's the only toddler among our play dates who will go give hugs to other moms).

mcgeeva · July 2014

No advice really. I would just want to know what she eats, when she naps, any incidents of any kind if anything ever happens and for my child to stay at the house. Good luck! You need a much needed break!!!

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