sex drive

bumpuser3155624 · July 2014

When did yours come back?

Lo is almost 14months and DH and I haven't dtd since before she was born. It's completely me. He wants to I just have no drive or energy. I am close to going to the doctor to have things checked out. I am in the process of weaning so not sure id once that is done if it will get better or not.

CNJ4EVA · July 2014

Mine hasn't come back either, it's actually getting worse. I used to have no drive, just didn't think about it. Now it seems I have anti-drive. Instead of just never feeling desire, I actively and consciously don't want it.

I force myself to dtd for DH's sake, it's not his fault that I feel this way.

I hope weaning results in return of your drive OP.

kelseyhh · July 2014

I had absolutely no sex drive while I was BFing. I felt that if I never had sex again, it wouldn't bother me. I still did it every week or so since it was really important for our relationship.
I've posted on here that since I stopped BFing a month or so ago, it's come back full force. In fact, my DH can't even keep up. He's like, "Where did this come from?!?"
Once you wean, hopefully it will come back. If not, I'd for sure talk to your doctor. Sex is such an important part of a relationship, and you should enjoy it!

pnutg · July 2014

BananaBoat05 said:

SpankingShank said:
I don't often have the drive to initiate, but when we do I really enjoy it. Maybe you could just try?
This. I'm almost never in the mood, but I fake it til I make it and then enjoy it once we get going. If you're worried about it, definitely mention it to your doc.

Same here. I suck it up because I know it's important but I'm not really "in the mood".

bumpuser3155624 · July 2014

Thanks for the advice. Maybe the next time dh asks I will just say yes and see what happens. Maybe that and weaning will help.

huzzahuzza · July 2014

Parent's Magazine just had an article on this... they said that if you start going through foreplay and are still not in the mood a couple of minutes in then you should talk to your Dr. The hormonal imbalances we go through having kids is incredible and it never hurts to get them checked out! BUT they also advocated for going for it even though your not in the mood because even when you're not in the mood the act can still wind up being fun and good for you!

BTW, I'm never in the mood either. I turned DH down last night because I actually felt clean for the first time in a long time (summer sweat, child bodily fluids, etc.) and I didn't want to ruin it. However, if you read my FFFC, I go through with it because I feel like I deprive him and he complains a lot.

Blueyed228 · July 2014

Do you have an IUD?

I have a lot of friends with IUDs who have complained about no drive.

telicious2 · July 2014

huzzahuzza said:
I turned DH down last night because I actually felt clean for the first time in a long time (summer sweat, child bodily fluids, etc.) and I didn't want to ruin it. However, if you read my FFFC, I go through with it because I feel like I deprive him and he complains a lot.

I am always thinking like this too! I think I would do it more if it was mess free afterwards.

MAdams728 · July 2014

Fourteen months of saying no is kind of astonishing. In my opinion, at least. I really hope weaning helps you out!

It was about 6 months pp before I started wanting it. At four months it didn't hurt anymore, though.

bumpuser3155624 · July 2014

Blueyed228 said:
Do you have an IUD?

I have a lot of friends with IUDs who have complained about no drive.

Right now no birth control at all. I was on the mini pill but after never remembering to take it I stopped at 5mo pp.

bumpuser3155624 · July 2014

huzzahuzza said:
Parent's Magazine just had an article on this... they said that if you start going through foreplay and are still not in the mood a couple of minutes in then you should talk to your Dr. The hormonal imbalances we go through having kids is incredible and it never hurts to get them checked out! BUT they also advocated for going for it even though your not in the mood because even when you're not in the mood the act can still wind up being fun and good for you!
BTW, I'm never in the mood either. I turned DH down last night because I actually felt clean for the first time in a long time (summer sweat, child bodily fluids, etc.) and I didn't want to ruin it. However, if you read my FFFC, I go through with it because I feel like I deprive him and he complains a lot.

I read the same article. Part of that was what got me thinking.

MamaMD · July 2014

I am still BF and my drive is still pretty low. However, like others have said, once I do it I usually enjoy it.

surpriseaddition · July 2014

I really have no drive and am still BF too. I'd tell my husband every couple of weeks he could "have a quicky" which he knows give him about 5 minutes before I pass out from exhaustion. Having the 3 kids and working was tough on the sex drive. But, I was actually thinking of posting that I finally I had a big "O" for the first time in at least six months. It was amazing! I completely forgot how awesome sex could be since I've had no drive. I think what helped was doing it during the day, when I still had a lot of energy. DH and I had come in from doing yard work and both showered. I think being clean actually helped me, versus the other posts. I feel like I'm always smeared on, etc. which doesn't make me feel attractive or sexy. Plus, I knew DH was clean too and he smelled awesome which I think also helped arouse the senses. Maybe try a midday rendezvous where you'll have more energy.

aintnoyuppiemom · July 2014

Mine just came back this month to the point were DH and I were worried I was pregnant again because my drive came back with gusto. It is kind of tapering back off now to were it is almost normal again. Good luck and I agree with another poster about trying to set a mood.

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