Did you feel this way?

RN2011 · July 2014

Hi everyone!

Yesterday I went to my OB to confirm my pregnancy and confirm how far along I am. While I am super excited and happy a very small part of me feels like I "robbed" our DD of time. Almost like we didn't have enough time with her just by herself to enjoy her. My DH says not to worry that by the time the baby arrives she'll be 2 and I won't feel the same way. We were ttgp so it's not like this pregnancy is a total surprise. I just didn't think I would get pregnant so quickly. I look at her and I almost get sad because I feel like there's still so much I want to experience with her and now with our 2nd it won't be the same way. Am I horrible mother for feeling this way? Those that have more than 1, did you feel this way?

ConstanceGoodspeed · July 2014

Yes! I am wondering how second + children turn out ok when the first gets SOOOOO much more attention/gifts/new stuff/classes/etc than the subsequent kids will.

I am trying to savor and really relish the snuggles from DS now, before my big belly will take over my lap, and then the baby and big, painful nursing boobs. I am so nervous and sad for him.

Obviously we tried very, very hard to get pregnant (IVF), so we had lots of thinking time. I keep telling myself it will be worth it for him in the long run; siblings are great.

ETA: @RN2011 According to our tickers we are due a day apart.

emja0214 · July 2014

I have felt that way at times during this pregnancy. DD and I have been spending a ton of time outside this summer and I am trying to figure out how it will work next summer when I am outnumbered. It helps to think about all the fun times I had with my brother growing up and I want that for DD. My brother and I are very close in age and honestly I have no memory of life without him. It will take some adjustment, but now you get to make wonderful memories with two LOs!!

Jessie333 · July 2014

I feel like that too. I get so much enjoyment out of our time alone together. I also feel guilty for wanting time to rush by waiting for Dr's appts and ultrasounds and such because I am excited about the baby. I feel like I am wishing away this alone time with dd. I know it's silly and I know dd will be an amazing big sister.

horae4me · July 2014

Yes, I felt the exact same way. But really it is turning out great. Dd was born in April. Ds is such a good big brother. And honestly he will never remember anything different. Dd naps all the time as a newborn so I get plenty of alone time with ds. During his naps I spent time snuggling with with dd. then put her in the swing or pack n play while ds is up. Their schedules alternate right now so it works out great.

DCKate · July 2014

I'm not TTC right now, but the feeling you're describing is why I'm waiting awhile longer. Don't feel badly though--my siblings are so important to me! Congrats on your growing families:)

spainy17 · July 2014

This is a huge reason why we are waiting/on the fence about number two but I honestly think i will feel that way no matter when we try. It is a big adjustment no matter when you do it and there are benefits to both. I can't imagine not being able to devote 100 percent of my time to DD but when I see siblings playing together I want that for her too. I think that is completely normal or at least you are in good company!

OhBaby+2013 · July 2014

I go back and forth. I worry I won't be able to give either child the attention they deserve but I know that once baby comes we will find a way to give them the love they need. It will just be another member of our awesome family to love.

JJsMum · July 2014

I absolutely felt this way when we decided to TTC after DS#1. How hard on him would it be to go from getting all my attention, to having to share it?! In reality, it was probably one of the best things we could have done for him. He has blossomed and grown so much since getting a sibling, that I just can't believe it. I know that some of it is just growing up, but DS#1 loves that he gets to show his brother how to do things, that he can be responsible for bringing me a new diaper, that he gets to be my big helper. I think, for us, that it also helped that DS#1 won't remember being an only child. There is almost exactly 2 years between them. We still make the effort to do things with just DS#1, just as we will with all of our kids. They still need to know that they are loved individually, as well as a family whole. It isn't always convenient, and it takes some work, but it's all worth it

cozybluebear · July 2014

I struggled a great deal with this. I am a SAHM and have never been away from my son. We have a really close bond and when I found out I was pregnant, it was really hard. This baby was not planned and to be completely honest, I felt the same as you to the point where I actually considered abortion. I know, it's horrible! I've always been completely against abortion and felt like a horrible mother for considering it. It was the hardest struggle in my life. I can tell you, you will feel better. I am now 7 months pregnant and after months of crying, I'm actually getting excited for this new baby. You will too... it takes time. I just kept telling myself that my son will appreciate growing up with a sibling. I know I did. Sometimes I still wonder how I can love another baby as much as I love my son but I'm confident that it will just happen. I couldn't imagine my life without him and though I can't see it now, I'm absolutely sure I'll feel the same way with the new baby. Hang in there, it works itself out!

Want a personalized experience?

Did you feel this way?

Re: Did you feel this way?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards