Postpartum anxiety

huggabunch · July 2014

Hey everyone. I'm mostly a lurker. (Sorry.) I'm a first time mom who developed gestational HTN 2 weeks ago and was induced for it this week.
My HTN is continuing intermittently. I am hoping it will go back to normal soon.
Regardless, I am so excited to have my baby girl and love her very much. I am normally not a very anxious person. However, since her arrival, I have felt panicky and anxious multiple times a day for unknown reasons. Its very overwhelming and difficult to make it go away. I have noticed it's worse in the evenings. It's making me feel like I'm losing it a little. I know hormones are still raging and my intermittent HTN probably isn't helping either.
I was just wondering if anyone else feels or has felt this way. If so, any pointers on how to deal with it? I appreciate your help in advance.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

I had anxiety with my first that definitely was worse in the evenings. It was like I dreaded nighttime because I didn't know how he would be, if we'd sleep, etc. I want to say it lasted maybe 3-4 weeks and then got better as we got into more of a routine and I became more comfortable caring for an infant 24/7.

I think some anxiety is definitely very normal but really, if at any time you think it's more than you can handle, don't hesitate to call your doctor.

RKSnyder · July 2014

I am a FTM and I appreciate you posting this bc I'm with you 100%, ESPECIALLY about nighttime. I dread it so much and the nights feel so slow. It's like if I can last til morning everything will be okay, at least until 9 pm the next night. Baby girl is 3 weeks old, so I'm hoping it stops soon.
I talked to my mom who said she felt the exact same way after having me and my siblings. I wish I had true advice but I hope it helps to just know you aren't alone.

SuperTinkerham · July 2014

Please talk to your doc if you feel it's more than just temporary. Here's an online resource for you: https://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english *big hugs*

SuperTinkerham · July 2014

Also I think it's really easy to forget taking care of yourself during these days of fresh baby- here's a checklist for you to remember to take good care of yourself https://www.postpartumnh.com/upload/The Well Mom Checklist.pdf

Tiffles · July 2014

I could've written this post myself 2 1/2 years ago with my first. My hubby was actually who took initiative and helped me overcome it. Mine got really bad, especially, when we would go out, and hubby would walk me through it. I would ask, and he would answer;

What if she cries while we're out? - Then you feed her.

Whatif she needs her bum changed while we're out? - You change her!

What if I can't get her to stop crying? - Then we can leave!

At home it was:

What if she doesn't sleep well tonight? - Then you nap when she does tomorrow!

What if she doesn't stop crying? - You try everything we've learned, feed, change, rock etc. If that doesn't work, put her down in her crib, close the door and walk away for 5 minutes. Then retry.

When all else fails, remember, these are just stages. They will not last forever, though sometimes it seems it will.

And just remember, never feel afraid to ask a professional for help. Don't feel ashamed for not being able to deal with it. These people have jobs, because there are soo many other people dealing with the same thing!!!

Good luck!!! and congrats!!

ksspiff · July 2014

@SuperTinkerham‌ linked to a great resource that really helped recognize PPA after I had DD, as well as help explain the irrational feeling to DH and my mom.

Nighttime is always worse for me too. I start to feel it physically as a twisting stomach and hot/prickly skin. I'm actually on medication, being high risk for PPD/PPA last time, but it takes two weeks to really kick in.

Advice: talk to your SO, mom, BFF, support people about it. Ask them to tell you if THEY see you personality and mood changing. Talk to your doctor, even if it just to let them know that you are feeling off. That communication could lead you to getting help in ways that you wouldn't ask for out of the blue.

huggabunch · July 2014

Thank you everyone for the advice and resources. It's so good to know I'm not alone. I hear more about the depression than I ever have the anxiety. I'm hoping that soon it will fade, but if not, I will absolutely talk with my doctor.

BBColt78 · July 2014

Great resources! I'm a second time mom and the nights are hard for me too, even though I know it gets better. Before bed u have too much "think time." I just sit and worry about something or the hormones have me crying about something. Its all totally normal and for most it will go away soon. Get someone on board with you and if you don't feel like yourself soon or you feel worse, talk to the pedi or OB. Hormones can suck.

Skeemer · July 2014

quinncat said:

I had ppa with my first. I hated night time. I ended up getting on Zoloft after about 8 weeks. It really did help.

I also went on Zoloft for PPD about 2 months after having DS. I couldn't figure out why I was so upset during what should have been the happiest time of my life. But adjusting to DS was so emotionally & physically hard for me. Plus I dreaded going back to work & leaving him. I took Zoloft for about 8 months & it helped tremendously.

Skeemer · July 2014

sarahbri10 said:

Hey everyone. I'm mostly a lurker. (Sorry.) I'm a first time mom who developed gestational HTN 2 weeks ago and was induced for it this week. My HTN is continuing intermittently. I am hoping it will go back to normal soon. Regardless, I am so excited to have my baby girl and love her very much. I am normally not a very anxious person. However, since her arrival, I have felt panicky and anxious multiple times a day for unknown reasons. Its very overwhelming and difficult to make it go away. I have noticed it's worse in the evenings. It's making me feel like I'm losing it a little. I know hormones are still raging and my intermittent HTN probably isn't helping either. I was just wondering if anyone else feels or has felt this way. If so, any pointers on how to deal with it? I appreciate your help in advance.

Don't apologize.

You're welcome here & we want to help if we can. This is a great board with a lot of caring & supportive people. Glad you're here OP. Jump right in.

missyrissy · July 2014

I have this too! I have anxiety and depression before pregnancy though. I finally went to my psych and they upped my current does of Prozac, which has helped tremendously!!! Thanks for posting though. I thought the fact that this happened mainly in the evenings, around 6pm, was just a fluke.

unaveragejane · July 2014

Hang in there, hon! I know it sucks. I had PPA with my first. I thought it was just baby blues to begin with, but after 4 of 5 weeks it was getting worse instead of better. I even called my mom to come stay with me to help with the baby b/c I felt like I was losing my mind. I started having daily panic attacks, and I would just sob hysterically. I couldn't eat b/c I felt terrible, and I couldn't sleep for fear of something happening to DS. I am normally much more logical than emotional, so it was completely overwhelming and frustrating to not be able to control my own thoughts and emotions. I talked with my OB about it at my first PP appointment, and after a lengthy but caring conversation, she put me on Xanax for the panic attacks and Zoloft for a mood stabilizer. (I'm not sure Xanax is BF safe, but I wasn't producing any milk b/c of the anxiety anyway.) At first I was embarrassed and ashamed to be on "happy pills," but I finally realized that was silly. If I had caught bronchitis, I would have taken medicine to get well so I could be a good mom. Why should I feel differently about these meds? I wouldn't take any medicine lightly, but it was what I needed to survive those first few months. I'm hoping very much that it doesn't hit me so hard this time, but I feel better about asking for help if I need it again. Reach out to the people around you and know that you're not alone. Some people float through the newborn days on a happy cloud, but that's not reality for everyone. If you feel like this is the hardest thing you've ever done, please know that 1: That's a completely valid feeling. You're not a bad mom for feeling like that. and 2: It gets so much easier. It really does! (I really needed someone to tell me both of those things in the early days.)

SuperTinkerham · July 2014

I think I read that 15-20% of moms deal with this shit. So don't feel isolated. You're just having a harder time. Be gentle with yourself, tap into your support systems and love that baby!

lamarei · July 2014

I have terrible post partum anxiety and started Wellbutrin about a month ago to get ready for when LO is born. Get meds, support, help or whatever now. Great mamas make sure they are healthy first to take excellent care of their babies

asking for help is super hard sometimes, but this is one time you don't have to do it alone.

acohin · July 2014

OP thanks for asking and PP's thanks for being honest and candid about your struggles and with advice.
As a FTM I may not have recognized PPA/PPD so having some real life info now seems super helpful to me. I would like to think I would reach out for help but it can be "taboo". Learning about it now makes me feel better prepared should I end up being part of that 15-20%.

emineminem · July 2014

I love that well mom checklist @SuperTinkerham‌ posted!

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