Afraid to fly

cassy0407 · July 2014

I recently found out that I am PgAL. My cousin is getting married on August 3rd and I had already purchased my bridesmaids dress. The wedding is in Chicago and I am honestly terrified about getting on a plane right now. I know (logically) flying wont cause a m/c, but after 2 losses, I vowed to be extremely careful this time around. I promised myself that if I had to think twice about something, I wouldn't do it.

I do not want to fly anywhere right now. How do I break this news to my family? I know the stress associated with planning a wedding, and I hate to mess up my cousins plans. I just know that if something were to happen (God forbid) I'd never be able to forgive myself for getting on a plane. I know PgAL brain has the best of me but I'm the one that has to live with myself and my decisions when all is said and done.

Thoughts?

jess123456 · July 2014

I recommend talking to your doctor about it and perhaps she can answer any questions you have about flying while pregnant. Like you, I chose not to fly during my pregnancy but it wasn't about the actual flight more about being far from my medical care which I know can seem silly to some because there are hospitals everywhere but I just haven't been comfortable with it. I have cancelled plans a couple times this pregnancy because of it which is a bummer of course but those who know my history can sympathize. I say do what you feel comfortable with.

JessicaG220 · July 2014

I agree with @jess123456. I think you should talk to your doctor. Flying is perfectly safe and your OB can reassure you and answer any questions you have. You would be missing out on a fun experience if you let your fears control your life. Personally, I think you should go, but only you can make that decision. Good luck!

2redtulips · July 2014

I agree with the advice to talk to your doctor.

Also, you can ask for a pat down at security so you don't have to go through the scanners.

JessicaG220 · July 2014

2redtulips said:
I agree with the advice to talk to your doctor.

Also, you can ask for a pat down at security so you don't have to go through the scanners.

Agreed! I flew from OH to FL at 5-6 weeks pregnant and I asked for a pat down. Security was very accommodating.

CaraH · July 2014

I agree it's worth talking to your OB, because it should be safe to fly. Early losses are almost never about external factors. That said, it sounds like you've already made up your mind. In which case, my only advice is to be honest. Whether you plan to announce or not, you need to tell your cousin immediately and you need to tell her why (and just hope she can keep a secret) in detail. Explain that you are not only pregnant, but because of earlier losses you just can't do anything you'd question yourself for if you lost this baby. And, honestly, you need to accept she might be upset with you. The intensity of our irrational fears is hard to understand if you haven't been there. She's going to be thinking that her wedding party is lop-sided, etc etc. And, in fairness, you're only giving her a month to sort it out, a month that was probably already crazy for her. But, if the relationship is strong enough that she wanted you in her wedding, I have to believe its strong enough that she will get over being upset and understand. Though, maybe not until after the wedding and crazy bride brain recedes a bit.

Danielle0311 · July 2014

I agree with pp's. I would definitely get some reassurance from your doctor. I have to fly to North Carolina next month for my cousins baby shower and am dreading it but I am gonna do it because my doctor said it really is fine. She might be really upset if you drop out a month before the wedding so be prepared for that. That said, you have to do what's right for you and only you can make that decision. ((Hugs))

Junebug060609 · July 2014

Lurking from PAL

Is driving an option? Just thinking then you wouldn't have to fly, wouldn't have to miss out on her big day, and youd avoid a potential rift with your cousin (bailing on being her bridesmaid a month before the wedding just *might* upset her a bit).

The others covered the rest of my thoughts. Ive opted for pat downs before. Absolutely not a big deal for security, just be prepared for them to get friendly

megbmeg · July 2014

I agree with PP about talking to your doc, either so that she can reassure you about flying or so that she can better understand the depths of your anxiety about this pregnancy. And I think @CaraH‌ is spot on about how to handle it if you decide to skip the wedding. Being honest with the bride is the only way to do it.

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious and might miss this fun day. I hope all is well with LO and you get to feel more confident as time passes!! Hugs!

cassy0407 · July 2014

You all are so amazing! The support I've received on here is a blessing in and of itself! I will talk it over with my OB and pray that PgAL brain doesn't continue to get the best of me. Thanks all! :x

Patch89 · July 2014

i echo talking to your dr as it should be ok to fly. I also had 2 losses, and found out i was pregnant just after my husband surprised me told me he was whisking me away for the weekend (the flight was 5 hours long). i was in 2 minds as i didn't want to put my baby at risk - but after speaking to a few of my dr friends and my own dr i came to realise flying shouldnt affect anything. ( i was 6 weeks preg) sooo thats my 2 cents! currently 38 weeks and waiting for this baby to arrive !!

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