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What do I do?

rachie1019rachie1019 member
edited July 2014 in Stay at Home Moms
So, I was going to post about this last Monday when this happened. Do any of you ladies have a close friendship with one of DH's family members, like a cousin or SIL? DH's cousin (also a SAHM) and I became good friends. She was getting ready to have baby #4. She is super sensitive and pretty much wrote me off last week. She says I am not there for her enough, blah blah blah. I am just busy and cannot talk on the phone all the time. We had some words (via text) but I tried to keep the peace. She said she needed some time to heal. OMG she is dramatic and full of double standards too. What do you do IF you are close with DH's family and things go south? BTW, she lives 2 hours away and with almost 7 kids between us. We used to do every holiday and birthday party but have since backed off so we don't see them much. THE only thing I asked her was to please keep me posted on her baby and she said she WILL. I told her I'm sorry she feels that way, told her to take care, xoxo...

WELL, today I called my MIL to chat. She said DH's cousin had her baby this morning. WTH?? She promised to keep me posted. DH said it's already all over FB. (I deleted my account). What do I do? Say nothing until she texts me, even though the whole world knows? Or send a "Congrats" text which, in my current mood, will be shitty? We have been BFF's for YEARS. TIA!!
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Re: What do I do?

  • pevilapevila member
    I agree with Gastro. 
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  • raraavis28raraavis28 member
    I'm sorry things are rough....that sounds awful. I haven't gone through this personally, but I remember my dad being very hurt when his brother and sil let him know they had had a baby via Christmas letter (he had no idea they were expecting.... lots of dysfunction in his family...)

    I agree w/ PP: be the bigger person and congratulate her. I hope you guys can work things out and be friends again.
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  • rosesandpetalsrosesandpetals member
    Idunno, I wouldn't be petty and intentionally ignore her but if she said she wanted space then I may try to back off. Maybe give it another day and then text her. You don't know all the details, maybe she didnt put it.on Facebook, maybe a friend did. Maybe the baby is having complications and they're just busy. She may not be trying to be rude. I'd wait until tomorrow and then send a quick text.
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  • rachie1019rachie1019 member
    rosesandpetals said:

    Idunno, I wouldn't be petty and intentionally ignore her but if she said she wanted space then I may try to back off. Maybe give it another day and then text her. You don't know all the details, maybe she didnt put it.on Facebook, maybe a friend did. Maybe the baby is having complications and they're just busy. She may not be trying to be rude. I'd wait until tomorrow and then send a quick text.

    Oh also I meant to add that her Mom, DH's aunt, actually posted on FB. And her baby was delivered so quickly that her breathing was very rapid, landing her in the NICU for a while. :/ So yes, very valid points and good advice. I feel even better being nice since she's going through a lot right now. I've had 2 NICU babies. Been there, done that. It sucks. I'm glad I came here first and didn't act irrationally. Thank you all!!

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  • Spin313Spin313 member
    She just had her fourth baby...I'm sure her first priority isn't to send a personal message to every family member.

    Maybe she's a drama-llama, but cut her a little slack.
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  • rachie1019rachie1019 member
    Oh I did! I got DH's advice too. I knew it was the right thing to text her and say Congrats. I just had to think it through for a minute.
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  • zbeesma86zbeesma86 member
    I could have written this- minus DH's cousin being pregnant. She just has the one. But we've had our squabbles here and there. I'd just send a text saying congrats and looking forwarding to meeting new LO!


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