Nursery blues (older children mentioned)

AnnaClaire256 · July 2014

When DH and I bought this house, I was insistent on finding one with one more bedroom than what we currently needed. In fact, an extra bedroom was the main reason we moved in the first place. Now, two years later, the little room beside the master, with it's little closet perfect for tiny clothes and cute windows, is still completely empty. And now it's becoming depressing...

Every time I have to go in there for something it makes me so sad. Just an empty 13x11 reminder that we are not any closer to filling it than we were when we moved in here.

So...I've been thinking about turning it into something. Is it dumb to waste money furnishing and decorating a room that I am desperately hoping we will need soon? My younger teenage step son really wants to switch into that room because it "has a cool shape" but I won't let him because it is the perfect nursery for a baby we haven't even conceived yet. Is that selfish?

Anyone else have an empty room that they can't bring themselves to fill? Thoughts on something I could turn mine into?

gsancho · July 2014

We've had the same room next to our master, with the soft yellow paint we picked for a "soon to be nursery", with our super old bedroom furniture we were sure we wouldn't need for very long. We moved over 3 years ago!

We've had a number of friends move away in the last year and accumulated some of their nicer office furniture, which is still in storage. So if this IVF doesn't work, we decided to repaint the room and make it an office while we take a break from IF. I think it will be therapeutic and it will give me a project to work on, since we haven't done much to the house since we started IF treatments.

Kam10 · July 2014

YES! We bought a 4 bedroom house in hopes of having 2 kids and a spare room over two years ago.

When we first started trying we decided to paint it a neutral green which we thought would be perfect for a nursery. Almost two years later we have yet to do anything else with it. It's just an empty room that I can't bring myself to do anything with just yet.

You could turn it into an office, or add shelving and turn it into an enormous walk-in closet

KT416 · July 2014

I struggled with this too... We bought our house two years ago yesterday and the smallest bedroom upstairs would def be the nursery, we even talked about it then.

We pretty much gutted our entire house and earlier this year we finally tackled our upstairs. A month ago or so my DH was painting and wanted a color for that room because it was time. It was so depressing since I know exactly what color scheme I want.

He was bothering me for a color and I knew since he was motivated, I should just have him paint it. I stupidly had him paint it yellow (my hopeful future nursery color) and I def regretted as soon as I walked up the stairs. If I don't get a BFP this cycle, I think I'm moving my office in there and making my current office room a guest room. I'm hoping that the right curtains and décor will make it less depressing and a good office.

Good luck deciding. Not seeing the room is hard to say for sure, but could you make it a walk-in closet room? That's what I'd probably do. But what do I know, I have an empty depressing yellow room right now.

(And I don't think you are greedy if you don't let him move in that room, I probably wouldn't either).

JericaLH · July 2014

DH and I are just about finished with our house after 3 yrs of building. (We are building it ourselves and can only work on it as time and money allow, and yes we are living in the construction.) But when we first started looking at plans I insisted on having a nursery/office that can be accessed from both the master and the great room. Currently it is housing my random sewing supplies, a small filing cabinet, and the printer (sitting on the floor) because I can't bring myself to spend money on a desk that we are hopefully going to have to move! So I feel your pain. I insisted on this space but am not utilizing it because of my hopes for the future.

As far as whether to turn it into something or give it to your son, that all depends on your situation and I can't give advice when I am not willing to move forward on my own space. But I hope you can figure it all out (or better yet, that a BFP will make the decision for you!) Good luck!

athlete010688 · July 2014

Yes! I was so ready to move out of DH's first home. A 2 bedroom, 960 sq ft house. I wanted room for when we had kids. Well, we moved into a 3 bdrm w/ a loft, 2100 sq ft house almost 2 years ago. We have so many empty rooms, it's not funny! It's pretty depressing when I think about it. The difference in the two mortgages.

lebradford · July 2014

Our extra bedroom is currently set up as a guest bedroom, so it's not too depressing to me. Personally, I wouldn't want to spend a bunch of money turning it into something else, but I definitely wouldn't want to paint it nursery colors either.

jessimi06 · July 2014

You're not the only one. The only reason we bought our brand new house with 5 bedrooms was because we planned to start filling it with kids and didn't want to have to deal with moving from a smaller house. Obviously that didn't work out (I may be a little bitter).

The nursery isn't empty, but the bedroom downstairs that we were going to move the office to when the current office became the nursery is currently empty minus some baby stuff we were given. Needless to say, I don't go into that room very often.

AnnaClaire256 · July 2014

Thanks ladies! I knew I wasn't the only one with an empty room staring at me. We already have a designated spare bedroom for guests or else I would just throw bed in there and call it that. I've toyed around with the idea of making it a craft room or office or game room for the boys, but it seems like changing it somehow means I am giving up hope.

Maybe I'll just stick our blow up mattress and a bedside table in there. It be work for over flow when we have lots of house guests. That way the room is not empty and depressing but still super easily changed if need be.

Sigh...here's hoping for all of us!

BunnyBerry · July 2014

Would it be possible to just paint the walls and move in your stepson's stuff, with the understanding that he moves back out when you are ready to turn it into a nursery?

We use the smaller room of our 2bd house because the bed faces east not west (somehow my DH cares about this stuff), but we've planned out the move to the bigger room when we need a nursery. I really want to make the move now but DH is requesting that we hold off, and I guess that's a wise idea.

AnnaClaire256 · July 2014

@JlambertJen‌ @BunnyBerry‌ I've given it some thought but both of our boy's rooms are almost twice the size of this little room. They already painted their rooms the color of their choice when we moved in and they have walk in closets in their rooms. That and (I can't stress this enough) their rooms are farther from our bedroom. They have friends over almost all the time (2 extras here as I type) and their noise level is off the charts.

With all that said, I still can't help but feel a little ridiculous saying no when he brings it up. My main reason in my head is still -because it's the baby room damnit.

AngM123 · July 2014

We moved into our custom built brand new house exactly a year ago. We built this house for our non-existent family. We picked the lot on the couldesac, so our kids could play safely away from traffic. We placed the two kids rooms next to each other with their own bathrooms. We made a large rec room in the basement for family activities, and a separate "toy/play" room where they could go wild and we wouldn't care. We made sure to have the yard graded in a way that there was plenty of flat space for a swing set. And the driveway, so we could have a basketball hoop. This whole house is a reminder of what we don't have, and my two "kids rooms" are now a glorified laundry drying rack. Sigh. I feel your pain.

BunnyBerry · July 2014

Sounds like good reasons to me.

An anecdote, that does have a point at the end, lol...we moved into a new (old) farmhouse when I was 10, and my parents said I could go upstairs and choose my bedroom. I chose one with beautiful wallpaper and a great front window view - no, actually mom and dad want that. Okay, a pretty green room with windows all around - no, that's for my brother because he's the only boy (what?). Fine, I want the huge empty addon room in the back - no, that's perfect for dad's office, it turns out. Sure, give me this tiny little alcove room then that was carved from the master bedroom at some point and has one window, in the closet, because at least it's cute and pink - Nope, apparently that's the perfect room for my little toddler sis.

I end up with the scariest room ever, with deep pile rug of a mottled puke green and puke yellow, in really bad shape, and a mix of salmon wallpapers in 3 ugly patterns. A year later, my Christmas present has me speechless with tears of happiness - redecorate my ugly room any way I want it!! Out come the magazines and catalogs. Excruciating decision, but finally chose this bedspread...no, honey, grandma's made you quilts so of course you'll still use those. Fine, this great bright wall color - oh no, the painter is here today and you are allowed to choose from this row of six color-tinted whites. Fun tween curtain pattern - sorry, we're getting white blinds and sheers to match the rest of the house. A rug for the now refinished hardwood - before I can even choose between several top choices, this one is on sale and matches your quilt.

I ended up with an awesome lava lamp and blow-up chair, though!

But the point here is that even this rather traumatizing experience with being refused a bedroom of my dreams, I got over it within about 2 weeks (when I realized that my new room was, actually, really gorgeous and classy and a lot better than I would have pieced together), and it's just been nice fodder in the occasional sibling debate on who was least loved growing up.

So I'm sure the location of that room as prime real estate beside your room is an excellent justification for keeping it to yourself. And your future LO.

juneroses · July 2014

@BunnyBerry‌ - love your description of "picking out" you new room as a kid - it reminded me of my childhood. I have two empty rooms, too. This is the third year we have lived here, and I just can't motivate myself to do anything with them.

melissa721 · July 2014

Sig warning.

Same situation too. I wonder when we will either need it or decide to do something with it. No thoughts on what you could turn it into. But I get where you're coming from.

ebliss444 · July 2014

Totally in the same boat.

Lived in a high rise and moved to a house with plenty of space and at least one empty room that taunts me. Luckily, I painted it gray.I have a lot of guest rooms if anyone is looking for a place to stay!

AnnaClaire256 · July 2014

@BunnyBerry‌ I had a good giggle about your sibling debate comment! And I TOTALLY had blow up furniture and a lava lamp in my room when I was little! Your childhood farmhouse sounds like it was full of character. What a cool place to grow up!

DSS did talk us into letting him paint one wall in his room with chalkboard paint and he's got a mini fridge and flat screen for "XBOXing" as I call it, so he has a pretty sweet little set up. He just likes looking at his options...He also asked to make our closet into a bedroom and to convert far side of our 3 car garage into his room....so I probably shouldn't feel so guilty!

masterofallcheese · July 2014

This is me, too. Bought the larger house with the perfect nursery and didn't dedicate it to anything because I assumed it would be a nursery one day. Now, I avoid going in the room and I insist on keeping the door shut. Lately I have wanted to move into a one bedroom condo with no yard and in an area with singles/couples. But then I would feel sad, too.

Also I insisted DH get a family friendly car and I hate riding in it with its pointless empty back seats.

catlover790 · July 2014

I too have the empty future nursery room. It's not even painted at the moment! I wanted to wait to paint until we picked out the bedding etc. Right now I have my leftover craft stuff, wrapping paper, and we do have an extra bed in there. My cats love sleeping in there!

Unfortunately it's right near our bedroom and when I walk by it sometimes I do get sad. I have been wondering if I should just paint it a neutral color so that it's not so blank (it's white) and spend some money on a few furniture pieces to make it more of a guest room but I just can't bring myself to do it!

catlover790 · July 2014

@masterofallcheese‌ This is me too with my DH's new car. We thought it would be big enough for the car seat etc. My car at least is still a smaller car so I think I'm going to keep driving it until I need something else and it stops running, haha. It's so hard to have these daily reminders all around.

AnnaClaire256 · July 2014

@Fightersince83‌ my feelings exactly. If I convert the room, it feels like giving up. Like I don't have hope anymore. I think that's why I haven't done anything with it but the practical side of me hates the wasted square footage!

wanderlust508 · July 2014

Thanks @AnnaClaire256 for posting about this. I also have a room that's currently a guest bedroom) that I hope to someday soon turn into a nursery. I'm so anxious to move the bed out of there and start converting it to a baby room. It's a sage green color so at least it's not an obvious "nursery color" ....that helps somewhat. But I definitely feel the pain of wanting to fill up my extra room with more LIFE ....and looking forward to when it won't just be my DH and I.

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Nursery blues (older children mentioned)

Re: Nursery blues (older children mentioned)

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Want a personalized experience?

Nursery blues (older children mentioned)

Re: Nursery blues (older children mentioned)

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!