Crazy? Or just hormones?

hopealexis · July 2014

Lately I have been feeling so insecure in my relationship. I will be 7 months pregnant in about 3 days, my boyfriend is at work for 3 weeks and is only home for a week, and then he's gone for another 3 weeks, it's been like that before him and I decided to be together. I'm usually the one to start the arguments because of how insecure I'm feeling, I don't remember ever feeling this way before I got pregnant, but now I take it too far by making myself believe that he's not really at work and that he's out having his fun, or that he's not being honest with me about some things. Or I feel like he would be unfaithful because of how much my body is changing, and it makes me think he would rather be with someone who's attractive. But he does tell me that getting bigger is a part of being pregnant and that he loves me no matter how big I get. And he does compliment me, but I only feel that he's only saying that so I would stop my "nagging".

This stresses me out because I hate to think that way, and I know it bothers him a lot because he can say some really mean things when I start to ask too many questions and he constantly has to reassure me. I'm currently waiting to see a therapist, but it's going to be a ridiculously long wait.

I hope I'm not making myself seem nuts, but comforting advice would really ease my mind. Has anybody ever felt this way when they were pregnant? Or is anyone currently feeling the same way? I apologize if this is too much.

bf43005 · July 2014

I would say it's pretty typical for every pregnant woman to feel at least a little insecure about her body because of all the strange changes. Do you have any reason to distrust him? Like prior to getting pregnant was he ever unfaithful? If there is nothing from your past together that gives any credit to these worries then I would say you are being over emotional. Since he's only home for a week at a time instead of searching for compliments why not plan some date nights, picnic, movies, etc. Maybe this time together will help you remember what you love about him and that your relationship hasn't changed. Just remember this isn't forever and try to stay calm. When you feel the worst of these worries coming on try distracting yourself with a productive task. Like make some photo albums of fun times you have had with him in the past. Maybe looking at the memories will help you get into a better mood.

2goingon3 · July 2014

Yeah, I'd definitely talk to someone because it sounds as though you are perpetuating a problem that doesn't exist.

If he's complimenting you to get you to "stop nagging" it's more than likely because he finds this new insecurity unattractive, and not your pregnant body. You need to love yourself and stop projecting your insecurities on him, so it's great that your going to speak with a counsellor/therapist.

In the mean time, I think you need to take some steps to make yourself more confident in your appearance, maybe some shape flattering new clothes, or a pedicure or something to make you feel better about yourself?

dschneider1583 · July 2014

Being pregnant is of course is going to make your hormones go crazy and it makes your emotions go all out of whack. But if he isn't giving you reason to distrust you it probably is just that, your hormones. I think talking with someone is a great idea. I also like the idea of planning date nights or something like that when he is home. Of course we are insecure about how or bodies look but if he is complimenting you and all that, I would say all is okay. Good luck!!!

mermaid1113 · July 2014

My husband worked nights for 2 years (he was clocking in as I was clocking out) and sometimes that caused distress in our relationship as we never saw each other. I can understand how not seeing your husband for such long stretches can cause your mind to wander, but it seems like he is working to make sure you and baby are well taken care of! Are you able to skype/facetime while he is gone? That may help. Also, I would definitely look into talking to someone who can help you work out your feelings.

Best of luck to you!

KittyMisha · July 2014

I have found that random anxiety is a common pregnancy symptom for me. In my case, I stress about my husband and daughter dying in horrible bloody ways. It's terrible, and I can't stop thinking about it. Happened with my first pregnancy too. Fortunately, I recognize that these thoughts are irrational so I am able to keep from having nervous breakdowns all the time

It sounds like maybe you are having a similar anxiety issue, but focusing on your relationship instead of violent death. I think PP's suggestions are good ones, and it might also help to remind yourself that the anxiety you are feeling is provoking irrational thoughts that are not real. It definitely helps me.

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