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February 2013 Moms
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Is this unreasonable? -kind of anxious...

RosebeanRosebean member
in February 2013 Moms
So my parents have asked me if they can go to the cottage July 27th. While this really shouldn't be a big deal, it kind of makes me a bit anxious. LO is due August 18th-22nd (I don't know anymore), but they have scheduled my c-section for August 8th. Based on the earlier date of my due date range, that would put baby at being delivered at 38 weeks and 4 days, but DS came at 37 weeks and 6 days. 

If they go to the cottage the weekend they want to go, that would mean they would be gone when I am almost 37 weeks. I told them "just go! I don't want to over think this" because I know the more I do, the more it will make me nervous. When I went into labor with DS, they literally drove by my house (they got home from flying in from Arizona) moments after my water broke... to this day they talk about how they saw all the lights on in my house, but didn't think to knock on my door to ask why I was up and about at 1:30 am... I had a very fast labor and now this time, we are relying on them to be there for us in case we need to rush to the hospital early so they can watch DS.

They told me not to worry about it and are not going to go anymore. They haven't been to the cottage all summer, and this is probably their only opportunity to go. I don't want to be the one to hold them back, but the other part of me just wants to be honest and fess up that it does make me very anxious to know they won't be near by in case something does happen. But I still feel bad. And now they are resigned to not going... thoughts? 
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Re: Is this unreasonable? -kind of anxious...

  • holly321holly321 member
    How far away is it?
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  • tamarar5tamarar5 member

    Do you have any other plans to get to the hospital? Is it a ride you are worrying about?  Care for your DS? Or are they just pressuring you to join them.

    If it were me, I would say HELL no, I'm not going anywhere but to my hospital at 37 weeks pregnant, ESPECIALLY considering your history of fast and early labor.  But, what about sending DS with them to the cottage alone? Build it up like its a bonding vacation with them alone. Would they be capable of handling your son alone? That, to me, would be ideal. I could stay home a few days alone and just relax without having someone hanging on me 24/7, and my kids would have a great vacation with Grandma and Grandpa.

    If it makes you feel better, my mom is being a butthead too and both my parents are going out of town TWO DAYS before my due date. ::face palm::

                    We're Going to be a Family of 5!

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  • cinnasugarcinnasugar member
    Depends on how far the cottage is, and if you have any backup options for care for DS.  

    My parents live 3 hours away and were not present for the birth of either of my kids, but I also kind of just wanted it to be DH and I alone, rather than including other people.  But I do have a SIL and brother who live near us and SIL was able to watch DD when I had DS.
    Mom to 3 year-old girl and 1 year-old boy
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  • RosebeanRosebean member
    The cottage is a 2 1/2 hour drive, then another 30 minute boat drive... once you unload the boat and unpack everything... :S

    It's not that I want them there for the birth. If I don't end up in a c-section, I wouldn't want them there anyways for that. It's more for them to be with DS. And while a weekend with Glamma and Poppy would be wonderful for DS, the only short falls are that the cottage is high up on a hill from the dock, and each platform as you walk up has no banisters. Not even the one at the top. So the whole weekend he goes with them, he would have to stay inside. Not very stimulating for a 17 month old. But that is definitely an idea..... hmmmm.... 

    I honestly do not have a reliable back up for DS other than my parents... and my ILs all live half a country away. The only other person I could think of is my day care provider. I could ask her if she would be okay if we drop him off should something happen, but then I don't know what that would run me for cost, and how disruptive that would be for DS. My brother has no bond with DS and I wouldn't trust him with a ten foot pole around my son, and all my friends just don't have a good enough bond with him either. Plus, they all have their own LOs and I don't want to put them out. 
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  • caladpi02caladpi02 member
    I would still just ask a friend. I watched my friend's kid for a few hours when DD was 6 mos. we had him until her parents came for him. I am sure if you ask, someone will help. I couldn't imagine saying no to a friend unless I truly had a scheduling conflict
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