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December 2014 Moms
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I should be excited but I'm not...

zrod2037zrod2037 member
in December 2014 Moms
When it came down to me wanting kids I have always wanted boys. When I found out I was pregnant I was supper excited and got my hopes up with hoping to have a boy. When I started planning I found myself looking at more boy decor than girls and coming up with boy names and a very few girl names. I found out yesterday that I'm having a girl and I wasn't as excited when the doctor told me. I faked my excitement. My boyfriend could tell and told me not to feel sad that as long as it's healthy we are okay. I agree with him I want the baby to be as healthy as can be but I can't shake the fact that I'm a little disappointed. I feel really bad that I'm feeling this way....am I just being selfish or ridiculous? Ugh I don't know what to do and hoping this feeling will pass.
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Re: I should be excited but I'm not...

  • NmcalhounNmcalhoun member
    I'm sure once she's here it'll all change and you won't be able to imagine your life without her.  I'm sure it's normal to be a little disappointed I'm sure you'll get more excited as it sets in.
    It's a GIRL!!


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  • ebilbaoebilbao member
    Give yourself a couple weeks. Don't bast yourself up. You will eventually get used to the idea and be ok with it.
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  • jlbeanzajlbeanza member
    I wanted a boy during my first pregnancy too, and guess what...could not be more obsessed with my daughter! I seriously could not love anyone more.

    At the end of the day, it's going to be your CHILD, and you will love that baby girl more than any hypothetical boy you might be imagining. Just give it time.


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  • caden1206caden1206 member
    zrod2037 said:

    Slaps said:

    I personally think this thread is in bad taste, when we have a fellow bumpie who started a thread about the loss of her twin boys at 19 wks.
    Yes you might be disappointed, but I am dam sure you will get over your disappointment a lot quicker than that poor woman and her husband will get over their loss.

    First of all my thoughts and prayers go out to her and her family. Second of all I was unaware of that thread, not everything loads properly on my phone and if I had known that I definilty wouldn't have posted this. Next time ask if someone is aware of any news before you bash someone else's thread.

    Actually it is really immature of you to be disappointed. Grow up. I hate posts like this.
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  • caden1206caden1206 member
    I don't think it is harsh and I will say it again. It's one thing to mourn the idea of not getting what you want, but move on and gain some perspective. Her post rubs me the wrong way because she snapped at someone who was trying to give her perspective. It gets real old listen to women whine about their healthy pregnancies when they find out the sex is not what they want.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    edited July 2014
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  • caden1206caden1206 member
    Eora3 said:

    caden1206 said:

    zrod2037 said:

    Slaps said:

    I personally think this thread is in bad taste, when we have a fellow bumpie who started a thread about the loss of her twin boys at 19 wks.
    Yes you might be disappointed, but I am dam sure you will get over your disappointment a lot quicker than that poor woman and her husband will get over their loss.

    First of all my thoughts and prayers go out to her and her family. Second of all I was unaware of that thread, not everything loads properly on my phone and if I had known that I definilty wouldn't have posted this. Next time ask if someone is aware of any news before you bash someone else's thread.

    Actually it is really immature of you to be disappointed. Grow up. I hate posts like this.
    I totally disagree. OP has every right to feel what she feels and reach out for connection and support. Feelings aren't a competition. It is actually pretty immature to say "someone else is going through something worse so you can't be sad too".

    OP, a lot of parents deal with a little disappointment when they find out the sex. You just need a little time to get used to the new reality. Start looking at gender neutral and girl stuff when you are ready. Once the baby arrives, you will realize she was meant to be. :)
    Like I said, it is one thing to mourn the loss of not getting what you want, but to maintain those feelings and not move forward is immature. Then to snap at someone that is trying to give you perspective is just icing on the cake. Didn't the OP ask if she was being ridiculous? Someone pointed that out and then she acted butt hurt by it. That is immature.

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  • zrod2037zrod2037 member
    Wow, I never said I wouldn't move on. It was my initial feeling at the time. Of course I am grateful for whatever gender. Didn't mean for this thread to be a bashing thread. I think everyone is allowed to their opinion. It's the comments I'm reading are kinda sad aren't we all on here or advice, support and to vent about things. And yes I use my phone and not every thing loads. Not everyone's phone is good here and I don't sit nor have the time to use a computer. I'm not looking for sympathy I was just venting. There are some thread I have read where I don't agree but I choose not to respond because I think everyone is entitled to put whatever they want on here to get things off their chest.
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  • zrod2037zrod2037 member
    racheldiaries said:

    Invalidating someone's feelings and making it into some sort of pissing contest on who has it worse is immature. Gender disappointment is normal. OP, I'm sure once she is born all those feelings will pass.  :)

    The feeling has passed woke up the next day happy and started shopping lol but like I said everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And my mood swings have been off the map lately too lol. Oh well people are going to talk anyways.

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  • caden1206caden1206 member
    @Ainslie325‌ I think you are reaching a bit with those analogies. To relate a broken leg to congenital deformities is a bit much. @slaps had every right to bring up the recent loss. It is about perspective and being a sensitive human. My comment had nothing to do with the losses, even though I think that is one way to start looking at the positives of having a healthy little girl. I did not like her response to Slaps as well. I am glad the OP has now gotten over her disappointed. Her little girl deserves to be celebrated.
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  • designchicadesignchica member
    edited July 2014
    I think it's totally normal to feel this way and I think it takes courage to admit it. I'm sure that you will be more excited as time goes on and especially once your LO arrives and is in your arms. I think hearing about the loss of babies reminds us just how fortunate and blessed we are and really puts things into perspective.
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  • desireearieldesireeariel member
    I think this was taken to an unnecessary level... 
    Congratulations on your girl. Now that you know to focus on girl things instead of boy I am sure it will grow on you!
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  • rshamosrshamos member
    @dianeg1017‌ I couldn't agree more. OP, congrats on the healthy baby girl and I'm glad you have started to get excited about it. If I had a girl, her nursery would have been in blue bc that's my favorite color! I would have done mermaids as the theme.
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  • weezy29weezy29 member
    edited July 2014
    I think it's normal to be a little disappointed when you want something and don't get it. That's just human nature. Having said that, look at it from this perspective: If something were to happen to your pregnancy you would be absolutely devastated and the sex of the child would be the least of your concerns. Give yourself a moment to be disappointed and then move on. You get to meet a sweet, cuddly BABY in a few months.....and she belongs to you!!!!
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