Should I be a pregnant bridesmaid?

pinktorridora · June 2014

Or is it better to have just had a baby?

DH and I are finally ready to TTC, but alas, his brother is getting married next May and we are both in the wedding party. Can any of you speak about having been pregnant as a bridesmaid, or having been a bridesmaid who just had a baby?

Just curious whether we should start trying now, or wait a couple months...

Thanks, ladies!

ashiscute · June 2014

I was a pregnant bridesmaid but I was only 19 weeks and it was not really an issue. It was my first so I had only a tiny bump that was barely noticeable in my dress. I got tired faster than normal but it was NBD. I'm hoping to be a pregnant bridesmaid again in Nov but I"m not sure if that will happen.

As for having just had a baby I have not done that but I was in a wedding in April and one of the bridesmaids had a 4 week. She did not seem to be enjoying herself but she also refused help.

I would not hold off on TTC for a wedding personally.

pinktorridora · June 2014

Yeah, we definitely won't be holding off. But my gut instinct was that if we starting TTC now, I would get pregnant right away and have a really new baby (and post-baby body) when the wedding came around.

I think our safest bet is to start trying in a couple months so that I may be pregnant, instead.

prinsesslolli · June 2014

My sister was my very pregnant MOH when I got married. She was just about the cutest pregnant person ever, so it was all good. My brother got married 2 weeks and the MOH for his wedding was also very pregnant, and was a very good sport. I wouldn't be too concerned about your post baby body if you do decide to start TTC now, everyone will be concentrating on your little one anyway. :-) Good luck!

BBEA2006 · June 2014

I was expecting our DD and was the MOH at my friend's destination wedding...I was 26 weeks I think at the time of her wedding. I was fine though...I even planned and stayed up for the bachelorette party! lol It was a busy weekend but all in all, I would not have planned TTC around it. You make it work somehow.

larsonbussman · June 2014

My BIL is getting married this October, and they know we are TTC so we may or may not be expecting at that time, and they know going into it.

pinktorridora · June 2014

So a little more to the story...

My future sister-in-law is anti-children and probably would not allow a newborn at her wedding if I were to give birth beforehand. As much as I feel this is ridiculous, I'd rather just take the chance of being pregnant.

And I do realize it may take us a while to conceive. I guess I was just wondering about people's experiences.

Helenahhandbasket · June 2014

If I had the choice between being pregnant (even VERY pregnant) as a bridesmaid or having a new baby at home, I would pick pregnant every time.

I have done both, and it was much harder to be a new mommy and be away from my daughter the better part of a day. She was (understandably) not invited to the wedding, nor would I have taken her had she of been.

pinktorridora · June 2014

Yes, I understand that I may not be able to attend depending on how a pregnancy goes. I guess I will cross that bridge if I come to it.

divinemsbee · June 2014

I think it's totally a personal choice, but I agree with others that, as sad-sack as this sounds, you really never know what's going to happen in your TTC journey. I hope that you get pregnant easily and have a healthy pregnancy, but keeping in mind that it could take a little longer is not a bad thing to do. I would not (and am not) let others wedding plans, even close ones, affect what H and I are doing to try to have a baby.

My sister's proposed wedding date is 2/28/15 (nothing is booked, and this may change). If I get pregnant this cycle (which I am praying to God and all his angels happens) then my due date would be 3/26/15. I looked it up before we decided to start this cycle, and admittedly we thought it would be closer to August before I was cleared, but here we are. Is it ideal to be 8 months pregnant at my sister's out of town beach wedding? No. Could something happen to prevent me from being there? Possibly. Do I hope that both she and my mom try their best to understand? You betcha. But ideal would have been that I'd already have a 20 month old by then and possibly be pregnant or getting there with #2. Ideal doesn't always happen.

heatherwhite1984 · June 2014

i was 32 weeks at the wedding i was in. i knew i would most likely feel huge and swollen feet. the bride wanted me to still wear the same dress as all bridesmaids - strapless, tight, a-line, and heels! i spoke my mind to my brother/the groom. they allowed me to get a maternity dress with straps and flats. she is now pregnant and was in a wedding 36 weeks pregnant and she quickly chose a maternity dress and flats. so, while thinking of dresses and shoes, find ones you would be comfortable in. the dress i wore still needed to be completely altered, because i was huge for 32 weeks. embrace being pregnant while at a wedding - you get all dolled up to support your loved ones. with a newborn you can still get dolled up and support loved ones, but you may miss some key points due to an upset baby, feedings, diapers, etc.

normandyn7 · June 2014

My MOH gave birth 2 days after my wedding. She was fine during my wedding (from what she told me). I wouldn't put TTC on hold because of a wedding. Like stated before, it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive.

pinktorridora · June 2014

Yes, I think that's the plan. Thank you all for your input!

moonbaby61284 · June 2014

I am in the same situation we are ttc in July and that would make a April baby and my sister is getting married now. But we are both in our 30s and don't want to postpone due to the age gap and other problems that could happen during the pregnancy or to the baby due to our age. However that would only be a problem if we are lucky enough to get pregnant on the first try.

myatala · June 2014

I wasn't able to attend my sister's wedding (other side of country) because the due date was less than a month from her wedding and there's no way I was going to take a newborn on an airplane in peak cold/flu season. I told her about my pregnancy as soon as I found out I was pregnant, and that it may affect our plans to attend her wedding (we didn't have due date until dating ultrasound), and she was totally understanding.

And my sister is pretty stubborn about having things her way for major events in her life. So I think if my sister can be cool about me missing her wedding due to new baby, anyone who doesn't even try to be understanding that the world doesn't revolve around them and their pretty princess day is an ass.

LimaD · July 2014

pinktorridora said:

So a little more to the story...

My future sister-in-law is anti-children and probably would not allow a newborn at her wedding if I were to give birth beforehand. As much as I feel this is ridiculous, I'd rather just take the chance of being pregnant.

And I do realize it may take us a while to conceive. I guess I was just wondering about people's experiences.

I find that appalling if she wouldn't make an exception for newborns! Some don't take a bottle and NEED to be with their mothers. If she wouldn't allow her brother's baby to be at her wedding she doesn't deserve to have you be thoughtful of her plans. TTC when you are ready, not when she'd be ready for you.

Wine&Cupcakes · July 2014

pinktorridora said:

So a little more to the story...

My future sister-in-law is anti-children and probably would not allow a newborn at her wedding if I were to give birth beforehand. As much as I feel this is ridiculous, I'd rather just take the chance of being pregnant.

And I do realize it may take us a while to conceive. I guess I was just wondering about people's experiences.

Sounds like your future SIL is a selfish asshole.

pinktorridora · July 2014

Thank you for your advice, ladies. And I appreciate those of you who are disgusted that I even have to deal with a future family member being annoyed by the possible timing of my pregnancy. DH actually just had a (heated) conversation with his brother - basically he said if my belly or a newborn was a problem, that he would not be attending the wedding (he is the Best Man). His brother assures us neither will be an issue. We'll see.

createmagic14 · July 2014

I had a very pregnant bridesmaid--and was thrilled that there was even more happiness to celebrate at the wedding! My brother and SIL also had their 8-week-old. No problem! We ALL had a great time! It was amazing to look around and see so much love and happiness.

suburbanstepmom · July 2014

I am on the opposite side of this right now - I am getting married in Sept and my MOH will be 9months pregnant at my wedding and I couldn't be happier. After she got the news of my engagement & I asked her to be MOH she said "Yeah, but just so you know I'll be 9months pregnant at the wedding."

We come from a place of love and understanding though so I don't take issue with this. I cant' imagine how stressful it would be if the bride or other members of the bridal party were not excited and supportive of your (potential) pregnancy.

Best of luck to you hun! I hope it doesn't end up being a stressful situation for you after all.

michelehoney13 · July 2014

Do it. And then suggest empire waist, chiffon BM dresses

Should I be a pregnant bridesmaid?

Re: Should I be a pregnant bridesmaid?

DX (me): Inborn error of metabolism - protein restriction, metabolic formula & weekly blood tests

DNA Results (7/1): DH is NOT a carrier for my genetic disorder!

7/3: Metabolic clinic gave the green light to TTC - holy crap!

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