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PSA: Forgetting babies in cars

CecilbearCecilbear member
in April 2014 Moms
WARNING: This Washington Post article from 2010 is horrifying and graphic, but it contains a super important message...that accidents like these can and do happen to anyone. Here's the story: Click Here

But...for those who can't handle reading it right now, here's why I'm sharing: Always put your purse/phone in the backseat with the car seat. If you use daycare, have them call you when your babe doesn't arrive for the day. 

Any other ideas for prevention? Definitely squeezing LO a bit tighter tonight (and finding the silver lining in her total disdain for car time). 
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Re: PSA: Forgetting babies in cars

  • MamaFantasticMamaFantastic member
    is this the article where the baby pulls her hair out as she's dying in the back seat?  i didn't click the link.  if so, it still haunts me YEARS after reading it.  i don't think i have it in me to read it a second time.  i honestly can't think of a piece of written material that has stuck with me in such a soul crushing, horrifying way more so than this one has.

    it's not for the faint of heart, but it's something all parents should force themselves to read.  i bet i read it a solid 3 years ago, and i still think about that gut wrenching mental image probably once a month or so, especially during the hot months of the year.
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  • zazu13zazu13 member
    edited July 2014
    knotty-girl said:

    I don't know why I even opened this thread. I didn't click on the link but I'm horrified by MamaFantastics spoiler alone. Noooooo! 


    I'm also completely disgusted and heartbroken over that recent story in the news that looks to be intentional. That little boy was so beautiful and it made me so sad to see that little cherubic face and know that his father could do that to him. I seriously think that man should be given the death sentence and it should be carried out by manner if locking him in a hot car.
    Please take the time to read it before making such judgmental statements. It's a horrible, devastating mistake that could happen to ANYONE. I appreciate the reminder @cecilbear.

    Edit: OK. Im a dummy, @knotty-girl‌ . I overlooked that you were referring to a different story. Im not familiar with that one. Sorry. I shouldnt mobile bump this late at night.

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  • CecilbearCecilbear member
    MamaFantastic said:

    is this the article where the baby pulls her hair out as she's dying in the back seat?  i didn't click the link.  if so, it still haunts me YEARS after reading it.  i don't think i have it in me to read it a second time.  i honestly can't think of a piece of written material that has stuck with me in such a soul crushing, horrifying way more so than this one has.

    it's not for the faint of heart, but it's something all parents should force themselves to read.  i bet i read it a solid 3 years ago, and i still think about that gut wrenching mental image probably once a month or so, especially during the hot months of the year.

    Yes. That's the moment in the story that really made me lose it too. So awful I don't think I'll ever forget it either.
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  • RedDawnsRevengeRedDawnsRevenge member
    I just can't fathom forgetting my babies in the car. But obviously it happens. Suddenly after reading this I am afraid, no terrified I could be one of those people? The little girl and her hair, my daughters have so much beautiful hair, it could be them. How horrible.
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  • CecilbearCecilbear member
    purespark said:

    I read that article before I got pregnant. So harrowing.

    DH and I just discussed this, coincidentally. He'll be doing daycare dropoff and I wanted to make sure to talk about it, since this tragedy has happened to otherwise good, devoted parents. We both will be keeping our purses/cell phones/work gear in the back seat when LO is in the car.

    I think the key is to place those items in the backseat EVERY time, not just when LO is with you. With many of the stories in the article, otherwise watchful parents had too many inconsistencies/distractions add up that led to tragedy. It's the Swiss cheese theory the piece discusses.
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  • Elf2718Elf2718 member
    I can't bring myself to read it. I read a sad article recently in Parenting magazine. It made me sad....

    I have a mirror on the back headrest and my rearview is angled so that every time I look in my rearview, I see my LO.
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  • KyllaraeKyllarae member
    purespark said:

    I read that article before I got pregnant. So harrowing.

    DH and I just discussed this, coincidentally. He'll be doing daycare dropoff and I wanted to make sure to talk about it, since this tragedy has happened to otherwise good, devoted parents. We both will be keeping our purses/cell phones/work gear in the back seat when LO is in the car.

    That just sounds like you value those things over your child. Like god forbid you forget your phone but you can forget your child? Idk it just doesn't make sense to me.
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  • KyllaraeKyllarae member
    Okay saying that was a bit extreme but I still don't fully grasp how that happens. I have a lot of mixed feelings on these kinds of situations. I do believe it's the parents faults and I don't think they should be portrayed as victims but I also don't think they should be brought to trial because they didn't wake up that morning thinking "Hey I think I'll kill my kid today by leaving them in my hot car all day." I knew I'd get some backlash and the article made me mad enough to post something I shouldn't have. Sorry guys.
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  • hlm184hlm184 member
    This scares me.  We're moving to Las Vegas, and won't be using daycare regularly.  I'm terrified that I'll go on a trip and DH will have to drop LO off at daycare and forget.  I don't know how to really bring it up to him though.  I've started approaching the matter, but I want him to read this article.  DH is a very forgetful person in general.  He once put his wallet in the fridge and lost it there.  Ugh.  I hate even typing this.
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  • CecilbearCecilbear member
    edited July 2014
    Kyllarae said:

    Okay saying that was a bit extreme but I still don't fully grasp how that happens. I have a lot of mixed feelings on these kinds of situations. I do believe it's the parents faults and I don't think they should be portrayed as victims but I also don't think they should be brought to trial because they didn't wake up that morning thinking "Hey I think I'll kill my kid today by leaving them in my hot car all day." I knew I'd get some backlash and the article made me mad enough to post something I shouldn't have. Sorry guys.

    Did you read the piece? The author goes into detail about the science behind such a mistake and why parents who've done this shouldn't necessarily be demonized.

    Eta: Ignore me! :) Just realized someone already said the exact same thing.
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  • hlm184hlm184 member
    Avion22 said:
    hlm184 said:
    This scares me.  We're moving to Las Vegas, and won't be using daycare regularly.  I'm terrified that I'll go on a trip and DH will have to drop LO off at daycare and forget.  I don't know how to really bring it up to him though.  I've started approaching the matter, but I want him to read this article.  DH is a very forgetful person in general.  He once put his wallet in the fridge and lost it there.  Ugh.  I hate even typing this.

    The best thing you can do is establish habit patterns NOW. If you ALWAYS keep your purse in the back seat, whether the baby is with you or not, then you will always go into the back seat to get your purse, every time.  Establishing this habit pattern will ensure that you will see the baby.

    Some people like to put a stuffed animal in the front seat when the baby is in the back, but this requires you to remember to do it.  When we are on auto-pilot, we need good solid habit patterns.   

    When my nephew was born 3 years ago, I started noticing that my mom was leaving her purse in the back seat even when she was in the car alone.  I asked her about it, and she said that if she ever needed to take my nephew anywhere (which would be VERY rare, but is possible), she wanted to make sure she didn't accidentally leave the car without him.  So every single time she gets in the car, her purse goes in the back.  She always always always has to check the back seat, every single time.  This makes me feel awesome about my mom that she is willing to inconvenience herself several times a day in order to protect her grandchildren in the off chance that she ever drives them anywhere.
    Trust me, I know.  I've been working on memory tricks with DH since we got married.  Nothing has been successful, he's just very absent minded.

    My hope is that the house we get will allow him to commute on his bike.  Then if he has to take DS to daycare, he'll take the car and that will be enough of a change for him to remember.  Plus me calling.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    hlm184, sorry, forgot it was your DH you're worried about.  Have you had him read the article?  That scared the bejeezees out of my husband, so he's hyper-vigilant now, even though he doesn't use any memory tricks (that I know of).   Something as simple as a mirror on the read headrest so he sees the baby every time he checks the rearview mirror might do the trick.  Different people have different opinions on the safety of mirrors, but we use one....
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  • hlm184hlm184 member
    Avion22 said:
    hlm184, sorry, forgot it was your DH you're worried about.  Have you had him read the article?  That scared the bejeezees out of my husband, so he's hyper-vigilant now, even though he doesn't use any memory tricks (that I know of).   Something as simple as a mirror on the read headrest so he sees the baby every time he checks the rearview mirror might do the trick.  Different people have different opinions on the safety of mirrors, but we use one....
    We've started using a mirror too and DH loves it. And I definitely plan on having him read that article.  I also mention at least once a week how I'm terrified of it happening.
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  • allyandmike24allyandmike24 member
    My plan is to set an alarm with a loud tone to go off 10 minutes after I'm supposed to drop off lo. Also I'll remind our sitter to call school and not my cell if I don't drop her off. In these cases, it's 100% better safe than sorry.
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  • CecilbearCecilbear member
    Avion22 said:

    hlm184, sorry, forgot it was your DH you're worried about.  Have you had him read the article?  That scared the bejeezees out of my husband, so he's hyper-vigilant now, even though he doesn't use any memory tricks (that I know of).   Something as simple as a mirror on the read headrest so he sees the baby every time he checks the rearview mirror might do the trick.  Different people have different opinions on the safety of mirrors, but we use one....

    I don't mean to change the subject, but why is the safety of a mirror in dispute? I'm curious bc I have one and am thinking of replacing it with one that will entertain LO too.
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  • hlm184hlm184 member
    Cecilbear said:
    hlm184, sorry, forgot it was your DH you're worried about.  Have you had him read the article?  That scared the bejeezees out of my husband, so he's hyper-vigilant now, even though he doesn't use any memory tricks (that I know of).   Something as simple as a mirror on the read headrest so he sees the baby every time he checks the rearview mirror might do the trick.  Different people have different opinions on the safety of mirrors, but we use one....
    I don't mean to change the subject, but why is the safety of a mirror in dispute? I'm curious bc I have one and am thinking of replacing it with one that will entertain LO too.
    I think it's something about them becoming projectiles in an accident?  Believe me, if that's the problem, I've got so much crap in my car that will also become projectiles.
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  • CecilbearCecilbear member
    hlm184 said:


    Cecilbear said:

    Avion22 said:

    hlm184, sorry, forgot it was your DH you're worried about.  Have you had him read the article?  That scared the bejeezees out of my husband, so he's hyper-vigilant now, even though he doesn't use any memory tricks (that I know of).   Something as simple as a mirror on the read headrest so he sees the baby every time he checks the rearview mirror might do the trick.  Different people have different opinions on the safety of mirrors, but we use one....

    I don't mean to change the subject, but why is the safety of a mirror in dispute? I'm curious bc I have one and am thinking of replacing it with one that will entertain LO too.

    I think it's something about them becoming projectiles in an accident?  Believe me, if that's the problem, I've got so much crap in my car that will also become projectiles.

    Oh, okay. I'm with you on this: lately it's like I'm using my car as extra storage!

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  • lcr23lcr23 member
    edited July 2014
    knotty-girl said:

    I don't know why I even opened this thread. I didn't click on the link but I'm horrified by MamaFantastics spoiler alone. Noooooo! 


    I'm also completely disgusted and heartbroken over that recent story in the news that looks to be intentional. That little boy was so beautiful and it made me so sad to see that little cherubic face and know that his father could do that to him. I seriously think that man should be given the death sentence and it should be carried out by manner if locking him in a hot car.
    I can't get the hair pulling out of my head either. When my daughter first discovered her hair she was angry and was pulling it. I keep flashing to this story and have a visual of her and it's so upsetting. :(

    My heart goes out to the parents who have truly done this on accident. The pain those kids went through breaks my heart.

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  • strawberrytreestrawberrytree member
    This might make me sound creepy but this is one of my favourite pieces of writing. It's so hard to read but it's something that really needs to be said. I can't remember the first time I read this piece but I read it every year and it just sticks with me. So many people are quick to judge and say it wouldn't happen to them and this piece has made me weirdly defensive of the poor parents who have done this. I think the writer ended up winning a Pulitzer for this.

    (I think he is also the guy who did the piece on Joshua Bell busking in a Washington subway station for a day that is also excellent, although very different.)

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  • nicole mackenzienicole mackenzie member
    I can't read this right now. I've seen what happens to dogs left in hot cars when I worked as a vet tech at an ER....

    It's horrible.
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  • bumpuser10354689bumpuser10354689 member
    When my son was just about 3 weeks old we were going to a restaurant and my DH totally forgot the baby and just started walking away (he was on his side of the car and so I figured he'd carry him in). Immediately I called him back with a "forget something". Definitely can happen. He just wasn't used to having to bring another person. I think all the reminders and the alarm is a really great idea.
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  • AcaAwkwardAcaAwkward member
    I read this piece when it first came out and think of it every year when the hyperthermia death stories begin in the Spring. This absolutely terrifies me in a "I never thought it could happen to me, BUT..." sort of way.

    When DS was just a few weeks old, we went out to eat with DD and almost forgot him at the valet stand. He was asleep and we were only used to unbuckling one kiddo... DH went to get DD and I just headed straight into the restaurant, not even thinking "hey, we have TWO kids now." When I made an embarrassed joke about it to the valet, he said you'd be surprised how often he's actually had to remind folks that there's a baby in a car seat waiting to be unbuckled. So scary.
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  • bacorreabacorrea member
    I didn't read the article, but I have read others. This is my biggest fear. When I took her in for her 2 week appointment the pedi said that in Texas it can only take 15 minutes for a child to die in a hot car. I ALWAYS keep the diaper bag and my phone/wallet in the back with her. I also have a mirror so I can see her. This is probably lame, but I text my mom everytime I'm headed out without DH (if there is 2 of us going out one of us always rides in the back with LO) and when it get to my destination I will text my mom and let her know that both LO & I are out of the car.

    I'm also terrified of accidentally locking her in the car. I bought a window breaker/seat belt cutter tool. I have one in my diaper bag and one in my purse.
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  • Bluebird2318Bluebird2318 member
    edited July 2014
    Such a heartbreaking article. I've definitely had "oh wait" moments where I go to walk into a restaurant or something and then realize I still have a baby to unhook. In my case though, it's usually (and thankfully) when there are other people with me. I think it's because I'm a SAHM and I am used to having my children with me constantly when I'm alone. Being out with other adults is a different "habit" to me. 
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