This is my third child and I have never had a baby shower should I have one this time?

QUEENKAY36 · July 2014

I'm confused my baby is twelve.

TheOtherJacobsons · July 2014

I threw one for my mom when she was 44 and pregnant with her 3rd child (21 years younger than me and 18 years younger than my other brother). She had never had a baby shower before. It wasn't huge. It was more that no one had ever done that for her. We had some close girl friends over for snacks and conversation. No games or anything and she didn't put together a registry.

I say if someone is offering to throw you one, finally, then sure, why not?

Though the pearl clutchers on this board will tell you absolutely not. Since you are no longer going to be welcomed into motherhood seeing as though you are already a mother.

golfingdarwinfish · July 2014

Nope.

Eta: are people offering to throw you one, or are you considering holding a shower in your honor?

Aurora1181 · July 2014

wait what? 12?

MorganWP · July 2014

I think she means her second child is 12. In which case, she probably doesn't have any baby stuff. So I would say yes, if someone is offering to throw you one.

Lindzoid · July 2014

This is baby #3 also and I only had a shower for my first. My oldest is 10 and youngest 5....and we got rid of everything. Literally everything!! Some friends offered to throw me a shower and I accepted but have some stipulations. I don't want a big to do and nothing super fancy. As of right now I only have a guest list of 12!
I think if someone is offering to throw one accept, but don't expect the world. A lot of people don't believe in showers past the first baby, no matter how many years between. Not that I agree with that!

keenkamsmom · July 2014

This is baby #3 for me also. I never had one with either of my first two and they are 8 and 10. My mom wants to throw one for me also and I told her something small nothing crazy. I don't even expect anyone to come or buy gifts if they dont want to, its more the thought that she wants to do this.

hermanavelasquez · July 2014

Sure you should have it. You deserve it!

jcsumm0 · July 2014

If someone is offering to throw you one, that is fine IMO. Under no circumstances (1st or 5th child) should you throw your own shower.

TheOtherJacobsons · July 2014

starla487 said:
Drive-by poster?

It's her first post ever. She might come back. She probably doesn't live on here like we do

lrobi13 · July 2014

We threw one for my friend when there were 8 years between her oldest and youngest. It was helpful because they had zero baby stuff anymore. My only beef with it was when her son got a little older and she was posting to FB about selling the stuff. That was kinda tacky.

AppleGrapeMSTK · July 2014

My oldest is 10. We adopted her as an older child, so no shower. My current youngest is 2, but I was already a mom, so no family offered to throw a shower. A handful of friends offered, but then never said anything about it again. My boss loves planning parties and offered to throw a shower this time, so I accepted- even though my boys will be so close in age. It will be small and the only things on my wish list/'registry' are diaper, wipes, and medicine cabinet stuff. It will be a luncheon at our next staff meeting, so no one has to rearrange their schedules and work is paying for the food, and we will still be planning work stuff.

But etiquette has never been my strong point.

TheOtherJacobsons · July 2014

Nicb13 said:

TheOtherJacobsons said:

I threw one for my mom when she was 44 and pregnant with her 3rd child (21 years younger than me and 18 years younger than my other brother). She had never had a baby shower before. It wasn't huge. It was more that no one had ever done that for her. We had some close girl friends over for snacks and conversation. No games or anything and she didn't put together a registry.

I say if someone is offering to throw you one, finally, then sure, why not?

Though the pearl clutchers on this board will tell you absolutely not. Since you are no longer going to be welcomed into motherhood seeing as though you are already a mother.

Hey.......come on now.

Guess you haven't seen the UO today

MuffinMom14 · July 2014

SaraML13 said:

I would say no. If someone I knew had a shower for a 3rd child, I wouldn't necessarily know/remember that they didn't already have a shower for the first child, particularly if the existing children are older. I would assume you already had a shower with your previous child and think having another was gift grabby.

I guess we're in the minority, because I agree. I'm sorry you didn't get a shower the first two times, and I'm sorry you threw everything away.

And it's not about not wanting to celebrate each baby. If I have a second, I'd totally throw a BBQ or something, and I might do the gender cupcakes again or something. It's about not wanting people who have ALREADY provided for my baby once providing for this baby again. And realize people WILL absolutely buy you things for your 2nd or your 18th kid. It's just the whole throwing a party for it that isn't cool.

The ONLY situation where I can think it might be ok is if it's a situation where, like, it's a work shower, and I'm at a whole new company...and even then I'd probably try to talk them out of it. I wouldn't want a single soul there the second time that was there the first. Or, in one hypothetical case that I'm preparing myself to handle if it happens in my family, where the mom already has a kid (and has already stated she deserves and wants another shower if she has more), but she married a guy who does not have kids. I still don't like it, but I assume MIL will throw BIL a shower for that when it happens.

That said, I guess I'm in a part of the country that is more staunch about this. I also hate having two wedding receptions (BIL ran to the courthouse and had a reception, then wanted another one this past weekend--he got one), a big second wedding, a wedding shower for the second wedding, diaper raffles, stag 'n does, etc.

And, also, I hate showers to begin with. But that's just me. You can have mine for me.

chicitygirl7 · July 2014

I don't see a problem with it if someone is offering to host a shower for you. You never had one before.

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This is my third child and I have never had a baby shower should I have one this time?

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