2nd Trimester
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Sex during pregnancy

I am 19 weeks and my husband won't have sex with me. He has twice since I found out I was pregnant and everytime I ask him about it he says he doesn't want to hurt the baby. I feel so unattractive and he doesn't seem to understand that. He doesn't hug or kiss me like he used to either. Has anyone else had this happen?

Re: Sex during pregnancy

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    No experience with this situation, but I do know it's pretty common for guys to feel weirded out by having sex while there's a baby inside you. I wouldn't take it too personal, which I know is hard, especially with all the physical and emotional changes you go through during pregnancy. If I were in your situation though, I would mention that you've been feeling a little insecure, and that his feelings about sex make you feel worse. But also I'd be understanding to his feelings. Think about things as though the situation was turned around.
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    It doesn't seem as though it's an unheard of reaction for a man. There are a plethora of changes going on for both of you and it's not always easy for them, either. My DH often jokes about "bumping into" the baby and whatnot, but we laugh about it bc we know that's not possible.
    He's your husband, sounds like you just need to open up those lines of communication and let him know how you are really feeling and don't just end or give up the convo at "I don't want to hurt the baby".
                                                                                      
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    Emmy916Emmy916 member
    edited May 2014
    My husband was like that with having sex until we had the anatomy scan at 22 weeks and he heard straight from the dr. That the baby is healthy and strong. Now he won't leave me alone. He said after the fact he was worried about hurting the baby. He didn't want to do anything to cause another miscarriage.
    BFP 7/13 ended 9/13 MMC BFP 1/14 BabyFruit Ticker
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    Thank you ladies!! We have a sonogram on the 10 so hopefully the dr can tell him there!!!
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    First pregnancy DH had no issues with sex during pregnancy.  This time around, same...only I am the one less interested, tired most of the time, so it's becoming more of a task for me right now.
    I run a home based child care and by the time my son goes to bed, I am spent.


    I-)
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    I made sure to ask the Doc while DH was in the room so he heard it straight from the horses mouth.

    Not that it matters much - I totally have ZERO libido. :( I guess I was just hopeful that first trimester, lol.

     

     

     

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    Isa27Isa27 member
    I'm missing out on sex big time. My husband is afraid to hurt the baby or make my delicate cervix bleed. We had 2 miscarriages and a bit of spotting with the last time we had sex around 12 weeks. It has been a stalemate since then and I'm now at 22 weeks! I'm going to have a virgin birth at this point :( lol but I want to understand his feelings as well so I just resign myself to wait until after baby is born.
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