1 year old super sensitive to his routine

taraleanne · July 2014

my 1 year old seems to be suuuuuper sensitive to his routine. If life interrupts his nap then I can often pay for it, for days. He seems to be so much more sensitive to sleep than my friend's babies at the same age. They just go about their day and baby naps/goes to bed around what their day brings. Not mine. For example I can't just "put him for a later nap so that he'll go to bed later today" for a family function or something. If I did that, he would just take a shorter nap and be cranky and have to go to bed early. This makes it really hard to take him to certain events and make plans with the more flexible kids we socialize with.

That's the other thing. I put him to bed at 7 and sometimes 630, this also seems early compared to all his little friends. The last few days his PM nap has been so short I've had to put him to bed at 6!! Early bedtime is the only way I find that I can get him back on track. I feel like I'm the only one i know with a kid who is so sensitive to his routine. It can be hard to take him out to certain events.

Does this ring a bell with anyone else with a baby around the same age?

minervacullen · July 2014

DD has always been this way, it's just improving at 18-19 months. Some kids just need sleep. This age is such a short time, don't push him. Trust me, before you know it he will be in elementary school and you'll see it's just the way he is.

honeydew01 · July 2014

Yes my daughter, now 16 months old has always been super sensitive to her sleep routine. She has been like this from early on, I think it's part of her personality or temperament. I think her sensitivity to change was one of the big factors that the 2-1 nap transition was so difficult for us as well.

Compared to other kids I see/hear from, mine is very similar to yours. I am currently a SAHM so I plan things around her nap schedule and very rarely we deviate from it because like your son, if DD misses a nap or is overtired and takes a crappy nap we pay for it for at least a couple of days. I have gotten crap from friends and family about us not being able to make it to functions and such and at first I got upset over it but then I let go and now I don't give a crap what people think and go about our routine and such. She also only sleeps in her crib...

Now that she is down to one nap, it's easier to plan things, I'll tell you that. So hopefully it'll be the case for you as well.

I also put DD to bed early if she takes a crappy nap days. During the 2-1 nap transition, she went to bed as early as 6 and yes people always ask me how come she goes to bed so early...

pb_bride · July 2014

Sure, there are kids out there who are very flexible, but mine is not. We stick to his schedule and I arrange my days (I SAH) according to his nap schedule. Now at 20m and just 1 nap, he is a little more flexible (ie, I can push his nap back an hour if needed). But at 1 year and on a 2-nap Schedule? No way!

Our families and most of our friends are very understanding to our need to stick with DS's schedule. They will check with us first to see what times are good for us, The only people who don't get it are usually our childless friends. As a result, we haven't seen them much since DS was born.

Btw, I worked hard to get him on a good nap schedule. As a result, he is well rested, naps well, and is happy most of the day (besides toddler tantrums). We have play date friends who never really stuck with a firm sleep/nap schedule, and their toddlers tend to have worse sleep/nap habits (short naps, fighting naps, multiple wakings at night etc). I'm not saying that all flexible babies don't sleep or nap well. I'm just saying that for DS, a predictable nap and sleep schedule keeps him (and me) happy.

honeydew01 · July 2014

pb_bride said:

Sure, there are kids out there who are very flexible, but mine is not. We stick to his schedule and I arrange my days (I SAH) according to his nap schedule. Now at 20m and just 1 nap, he is a little more flexible (ie, I can push his nap back an hour if needed). But at 1 year and on a 2-nap Schedule? No way!

Our families and most of our friends are very understanding to our need to stick with DS's schedule. They will check with us first to see what times are good for us, The only people who don't get it are usually our childless friends. As a result, we haven't seen them much since DS was born.

Btw, I worked hard to get him on a good nap schedule. As a result, he is well rested, naps well, and is happy most of the day (besides toddler tantrums). We have play date friends who never really stuck with a firm sleep/nap schedule, and their toddlers tend to have worse sleep/nap habits (short naps, fighting naps, multiple wakings at night etc). I'm not saying that all flexible babies don't sleep or nap well. I'm just saying that for DS, a predictable nap and sleep schedule keeps him (and me) happy.

This! The bold is exactly what I was trying to say as well.

loeroam · July 2014

Don't worry about the 630 bed time. My son is 16 months and he goes to bed between 6 and 630 every night. Try to push it to 730 or 8 and you are in for the fight of your life! He is also sensative to his nap schedule. At day care, he naps from about 1230-230 - if we are out somewhere during that time on the weekend, he will not fall asleep in the stroller and you can forget him taking a nap later. The other day I took him to the dr at 1240 and he refused to go down again after he fell asleep in the car for 5 mins on the way home. We had to put him to bed at 5 that night.

He does seem to fall asleep in the car at "off-schedule" times, so when we know he will be missing nap time for something, we try to plan our car trip so that he gets a good nap in the car prior to arriving. Sometimes that means we leave 30 mins early and just drive around for a little while (hubby and I like to get lost anyways and explore). But that bedtime is set in stone. We just bring pjs and an overnight diaper where ever we are going and change him at 6. Then we try to put him down where we are, or we load him in the car and take him straight from the car seat to his crib.

nikkisun54 · July 2014

Ditto to PPs - we have the same situation as well, and it works for us. I too have had people give me the eye when I tell them DS bedtime (typically 7, but it can range anywhere from 6:30-7:30) but he just seems to need his sleep. As early as 2-3 months I was extremely regimented about his sleep scheduled (anal, perhaps?) but since early on, he's always been a great sleeper and I think this sleep schedule has a lot to do with it. He barely every wakes in the middle of the night, cries himself to sleep, etc. and it's been going this way for over a year - although I may need to go find some wood to knock on!

Even if DS does have one late night and doesn't go to bed until say, 8pm, he's still up at 6:30 acting like a menace for the entirety of the next day. Once you get into the one nap a day territory, it becomes a lot easier. I did feel like I sometimes missed out on activities because I had to leave early/arrive later because of his naps, but hey - we like our sleep!

JTGochnour · July 2014

That's how my daughter is/was at that age and now (15 months). I will say, even thought it makes it difficult at times to be social, she sleeps better because of it! I like routine, so it doen'st bother me really.

taraleanne · July 2014

@jtgochnour @nikkisun54 @nicb13 @loeroam @LalaMama81 @honeydew01 @bp_bride @minervacullen

Thank you all for your responses! Glad to know I'm not the only mama in this boat. This makes me feel better, especially that a few of you said it would be a little easier when he goes down to 1 nap. I had hoped for that. I actually love the routine and predictability but you all know how hard it is to explain that to family & friends "but my kid…." 'but he doesn't look tired"…. etc!!

And yes, I have also noticed that with our consistent and solid routine, I have a pretty happy and easy baby who STTN and wakes up happy, naps happy and overall is just a delight. Except when we get off track then the world is ending... And my friends with the seemingly flexible babies…are often struggling still at 9 or 10pm or later to put baby to bed, multiple night wakings, crazy early mornings etc! 6pm bedtime is HARD on those crappy short nap days but hey I'll take it for my happy and well rested child = happy mommy.

Now only IF he would snooze in the car so we could get to and from the lake this summer without messing up the whole rest of the week!

Thanks again!

honeydew01 · July 2014

Just tonight we had to go to an event and everyone was like where is the LO and I was like she is in bed. They're like "what? it's only 8!" Yes, my kid went to bed at 7 pm today! Then they were like "so what happens if she wakes up?" I am like my dad is watching the monitor at home but it's very rare that she'd wake up, if she is not terribly sick or teething, she'd sleep...They were like "so you mean she sleeps from 7 pm til 6:30 am!? without waking up once?" I am like "i'm sure she wakes up, tosses and turns and goes back to sleep." It seemed impossible to them.

My husband and I laughed and think that these people (friends of ours) think that we don't really have a LO and the pictures are made up because every time we see them which is once every couple of months for dinner/drinks, LO is already asleep so they haven't seen her for months.

It works for us and as you said taraleanne, LO doesn't fight naps or bedtime (now I need to go find a wood and knock on it) and STTN so I am okay with the whole routine and schedules..

ss265 · July 2014

Every kid is different and you need to stop comparing yours to your friend's kids. I would also let their comments roll off your back.

DS has a pretty strict sleep schedule and I am pretty sure that DH's family thinks we are too structured. They haven't said anything directly to us but they always make comments that he goes to bed too early and just this past weekend, DH's older sister gave me a speech about how she always took her sleeping kids out with her shopping until 11pm at night. DH's other sister is also strict about her kid's schedule and they make comments to her too, even though she's a pediatrician! I just smile and say that DS likes his sleep. Every family is different and you just have to do what works for you.

nikkisun54 · July 2014

taraleanne you'll be there soon! And DS is at the point now where if we're home and it's gotten close to nap time, he'll actually walk over to the baby gate at the stairs and start shaking it intently to go up and take his nap! People look at us like we're crazy - a 16 month old who likes naps? But the guy craves his sleep, it's a win-win all around.

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