Making time for each other before LO

julestony · July 2014

Wondering how/if others are conscientiously making time for each other before the arrival of LO.

trebekastan · July 2014

Meh. We have a solid relationship so I haven't felt the need to do anything extra special. We know how we feel and I have faith that won't change after baby.

amom2four · July 2014

This is child number 5 in our house and we never have a second without a child needing something. We spend time together in the evenings when we are hopeful that the big kids are in bed even though they never are seeing as how it is summer. We use to play card games a lot and I just replaced one the other day so we will start breaking that out again. We usually spend time together as a family and that's ok with us.

rlyttle · July 2014

Before DS I enjoyed going to the child birthing classes together, then going out to dinner. So every Tuesday we had a "date". It was nice to have an evening that we focused on the baby and spent time together. DH was always so sweet and attentive on those days. We also went on a few weekend trips & went on a family trip to FL. This time we usually just enjoy spending time at home together. Getting DS to bed on time, then getting in bed and watching our shows together. We did go on vacation earlier this summer.

ashleyb1114 · July 2014

My 15 month old makes this a little difficult for us, but we try to at least hang out before we go to bed- whether it is just watching a show or talking about something or cuddling. I wish we had the time/ money to go on more dates as I feel like it would help our relationship but for now we do what we can.

rockychryslerb2010 · July 2014

We already have one, so it is a little different for us. However, each night when we can, we try to just sit together after E goes to bed to talk and DH talks to the baby and feels kicks. It might only be 5-10 min, but some of the best minutes of the day!

We're doing a weekend away next weekend to a golf and spa resort, leaving E with my parents. I'm so looking forward to that time together, it will probably be the last time without kids for a long time!

camichael84 · July 2014

trebekastan said:

Meh. We have a solid relationship so I haven't felt the need to do anything extra special. We know how we feel and I have faith that won't change after baby.

This. We get a good amount of time together as it is... work similar hours, go to bed at the same time, do most activities as a couple. I don't honestly know how we could step it up without getting too much time together.

LSN8308 · July 2014

DH took 5 weeks off when we had our babies a couple weeks ago. And being that they are still in the NICU, we have plenty of time together... a little too much at times lol, but we're not doing anything special really

WonderWomanAbbey · July 2014

Right now, we have my stepson half the time, so Sundays-Tuesdays are our alone time. We hang out after he goes to bed, talk and cuddle and watch movies. We haven't been on a date night in the longest time, but he's been working more to save so that we don't drown during maternity leave, and I'm so exhausted from being on my feet all day at work that I just want to relax at home.

cls0602 · July 2014

We don't do anything extra special. We always cook dinner together, and watch our nightly shows. Fridays are almost always date night as we know those are about to become far and few between! And we spend our weekends at the pool! Oh we also grocery shop and clean together- FUN haha.

Only thing I can say I'm really slacking on/stressing about is we only have sex about once every 2 weeks. Obviously pre pregnancy it was 2-3 times a week. Someone please tell me I'm not alone?!

WonderWomanAbbey · July 2014

You're so not alone. We were like animals before the pregnancy (no wonder it didn't take long to get pregnant when we started trying :-P) but in my first trimester, I was not having it. If I didn't have morning sickness or mood swings, I just wanted to sleep! Now that I'm at 29 weeks, we've upped back to 2-3 times per week, which is less than what we used to be at, but I think we can all agree that sex with a beach ball belly is NOT as easy.

ashleyb1114 · July 2014

cls0602 said:

We don't do anything extra special. We always cook dinner together, and watch our nightly shows. Fridays are almost always date night as we know those are about to become far and few between! And we spend our weekends at the pool! Oh we also grocery shop and clean together- FUN haha. Only thing I can say I'm really slacking on/stressing about is we only have sex about once every 2 weeks. Obviously pre pregnancy it was 2-3 times a week. Someone please tell me I'm not alone?!

You are not alone.. We used to do it at least every other day and now maybe once every week or sometimes longer. I try but sometimes it is just so uncomfortable or the baby starts going crazy which makes me not want to. OR we start and my 15 month old wakes up screaming so we have to stop. I feel really bad when that happens.

WonderWomanAbbey · July 2014

It can definitely be uncomfortable. And this may be TMI, but hey, we're all preggo ladies here. Right after I "finish", I usually need a minute to breath because orgasms cause your uterine muscles to contract and they get super tight around the baby and since he's getting so big, it can be REALLY uncomfortable. Not like it used to be.

JD83 · July 2014

I'm with you guys on the lack of frequency. I feel so bad about it, but I just have absolutely zero sex drive. DH thinks it's his fault and he gets all pouty, so sometimes I just let it happen, but really just can't get into it. I do wish he would read more about hormonal changes in pregnant women so that he would understand a little better. And now that the offspring is getting bigger it's so uncomfortable. I was really hoping for that insane preggo libido, but no joy.

conradraging · July 2014

My husband and I have been separated (military training for him) since the beginning of May and I won't see him again until the birth, and then not again for a few more months. No offense to you guys and I don't REALLY mean this, but hearing you guys talk about lack of sex drive makes me want to punch something.

GabbyCat13 · July 2014

Oh, sex... DH works so much- 50+ hours a week outside- that he never wants to do anything else. My pregnancy libido is pretty high this pregnancy and sex happens once a week or less. Honestly, it can get pretty boring and hard to do anyway at this point with my ever growing tummy.. not to mention my H is one of those "pregnancy weirds him out" types

Meh, so yeah...

GabbyCat13 · July 2014

@ekh2081 I hate it!! WAHHH!!

That is exactly my H though. I just (try to) roll with it at this point. I feel like shit otherwise.

ConversationFear · July 2014

Dh and I are homebodies so we spend most of our evenings watching baseball or grilling or whatever. We still try to wedge in date nights occasionally, and we've talked about how after little guy comes along we need to go back to regular date nights like we used to have before we got married. (In fact, if memory serves, I believe we stopped having weekly date nights because we were saving up for our wedding, lol.)

tatorhead328 · July 2014

DH and I already have our first date planned after baby - SUSHI. His birthday won't be long after baby arrives, so I'm sure he'll appreciate a sushi dinner and the video game I'll buy him.

clkriley89 · July 2014

@GabbyCat13 I thought I was the only one! So glad to hear there's another H out there using the "typical woman" excuse of being tired.

brittneyandadam · July 2014

We're not going out of our way to make time for each other...we're just continuing on like normal. I guess I don't understand the big need for it...after baby comes, yeah it's going to be stressful...but there will be points in our day where baby is sleeping and we'll be able to snooze out on the couch together or catch a 1/2 hour TV show together or just cuddle and talk. And then we'll be spending time with baby...together.

If you really meant to ask if we're having more sex, then again, just continuing as normal. We have dry spells and horny days, just like every other couple. I think we just kind of accepted that it'll all change when baby comes...so we're continuing like usual and just enjoying pre-baby time. Yeah, there will be 6 weeks where we can't have sex and my sex drive might be shot after that...but I have vibrators, he has toys.

Again, it'll all change...but we're not feeling the need to go crazy and get X amount of hours in together before baby gets here. That's just one more thing to stress out about.

GabbyCat13 · July 2014

clkriley89 said:

@GabbyCat13 I thought I was the only one! So glad to hear there's another H out there using the "typical woman" excuse of being tired.

GAH! It drives me flipping crazy all. the. time. lol

mrsH1112 · July 2014

As for the sex and libido thing. Pre pregnancy we were once or twice a week people almost always on weekends. We still fool around whether its full on sex or foreplay once a week. I think he feels bad because for some reason its super hard for me to finish. Ive never had that problem but for the last month or so if it even happens for me its only after like 20 minutes of us both working at it.

Ill be happy when that situation goes back to normal!

Making time for each other before LO

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