Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Hitting himself

When our DS (17 months) decides to throw a tantrum because he hasn't gotten his way, he will get down on all fours and bang his head (not very hard) off the floor. And when we tell him not to do that, that he might hurt himself, he balls his little hands into fists and sometimes hits himself in the head! As his momma, I HATE to see him do that to himself! Have any of you other mommas had to deal with this? Any advice? He doesn't normally hit himself, just after being told not to hit his head off the floor.

Re: Hitting himself

  • I'll be following this as well.  My little guy sometimes hits himself after I tell him to stop hitting me.  Sorry I don't have any advice!
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  • here is a good article on this : 18 month old toddle tantrums with hitting & head banging

    my DS (22 months) hasn't done this, but he does hit us when he gets upset. i hold his hands and say "i can't let you hit." i also try the "toddler-ese" technique from dr. karp. i also like the concept of "getting to futility" mentioned here. i think the main thing is acknowledging their big feelings. it's tough at that age, though, because they still can't express themselves very well, and it's frustrating. it does get a little easier once they can tell you why they are upset. hang in there!


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  • Our middle kid, 2 1/2 now, used to get down on all 4s and bang his head.  He would do it as part of a temper tantrum.  He finally did it pretty hard a couple times and realized that he probably didn't like it.  We didn't cater to him when he'd do it.  Being my 2nd probably helped me be calm and ignore it. 
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  • My DS (18 months) does these things too. He used to get on all fours and bang his head pretty regularly when he got frustrated, but we just ignored the behavior and that seems to have stopped him completely. Now he gets mad and will hit is head or bite his arm. I just try to redirect him by figuring out what is frustrating him and solve the problem...as long as it isn't because I wouldn't let him have or do something. It can be mortifying when you see them do these things, but it is normal and your LO will grow out of it. (At least that is what I keep telling myself!) Good luck!
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  • Following - my 16 month old does this too sometimes. She doesn't bang her head on the floor but she sometimes slaps herself or uses her fists. I do the same as a previous poster. I just ignore it because she is staring at me as she does this.
  • My 18 month old does the same thing! He will hit his head with his little fists or against the floor. I Luckily he has a pretty hard head because it doesn't seem to hurt him! I take it as he wants so badly to express his feelings but can't yet at this young of an age. I usually ignore it and after I tell him "Don't hit my baby's head, I made that head and I love it!" He doesn't understand yet but hoping the gentle tone afterwards will eventually teach him to not hurt himself. 
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  • Our kiddo did this starting at about 13 months.  He'd been hitting us pretty regularly when he was frustrated, and once he finally got the idea that we weren't going to be ok with that, he'd get on hands and knees and smash his forehead off the floor, the wall, the glass top table (we replaced the glass with plexi).  He had bruises pretty much all the time, and even did it twice during our pre-finalization interview with the court social worker prior to his adoption.  Two months later, and he almost never does it anymore, so I think it's something most kiddos grow out of.  I read that something like 20% of toddlers do it, and boys are 3 times more likely than girls to express their frustration that way.
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