just got paperwork

btj357 · June 2014

I just got my paperwork served in the mail today X wants to take me for primary physical and shared legal custody. Our meeting is at the end of July. He hasn't kept DD over night since she was eight months old. she will be three in october. Does anyone have any advice/ tips to help me through this hard time

20thirteen · June 2014

I don't, I don't have to deal with court (thank god). I do have a question for you, though. Does he ever see her or is this one of those guys who disappeared and is re-appearing just now?

btj357 · June 2014

he see's her every sunday. He complains about not seeing her more but when i give him available days he never shows. He drops her off on time but is often late to get her.

20thirteen · June 2014

That's the worst. Do you have documentation that this is how he handles his time with her? Documentation is like the biggest, most important theme we've got running on this board.

freeatlast2014 · June 2014

I can't see a judge giving him primary. What's his grounds? 1 day a week is like nothing. No way they would rip her out of her home without just cause.

And like 2013 said - document all the times late, when you offered additional time, what happened when you offered it, etc.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

freeatlast2014 · June 2014

Good point @AudeSapere89‌ they ask for wild stuff just ask and have a point at which to start negotiating. Mine asked for alimony and for me to pay attorney fees when I was a SAHM for 3 years and have had a part time job for 6 months.

What we do which works for us now is EOWE sat to mon and dinner twice per week with BF. My boys are 1 and 3.

Unknown · June 2014

This content has been removed.

mandi12 · June 2014

im sorry youve gotta deal with this. my x complains he never gets her and everyone feels sorry for him but in reality weve got the same set up. he hardly ever wants her for the full day and wont EVER take her on his other days off. he makes unreasonable requests like insisting i get her "right now" when he knows im working and hes only had her for a few hours. thankfully hes not fighting for custody but heres my "just in case" plan. hopefully it helps: i try to text instead of call so i can have actual proof of our conversations. i take screenshots of the bad stuff when hes yelling or being completely unreasonable over text so i dont loose it. i would also try to document times when he gets your dd to show that hes not actually being as responsible as he claims. he may not fight too hard once he realizes he actually has to have her all the time. i know mine made threats but he doesnt care enough to try to take custody. the courts will probably be on your side anyway. good luck.

tealowl · June 2014

Documentation is absolutely crucial.

I had two years of documention that my ex-husband and I had to take to court over custody issues w/his DD. Without that, I would not have remembered half of it. It helped immensely to paint a picture of the mental abuse/sanitary issues we had with her mother.

I can't really see a judge allowing what he's asking for since he's not doing it now. His lawyer worded it that way, doesn't mean that's what will happen.

FWIW - I have 50/50 custody of DD. It works out pretty well with her Dad and I, but the paperwork he served me with stated full custody. I was in a state of panic for months until we went to mediation, because I could not understand why he wanted full custody, there were really no issues between us. I would need to be a drug addict or something to have that justified.

Turns out, that was 'a mistake'. He just wanted 50/50 legally, which was totally fine. His laywer was an idiot, and BD wasn't exactly a smarty pants himself for not catching that mistake.

Basically, some lawyers will 'go for everything' and usually something less is agreed upon.

Also, trying mediation first can be really beneficial and saves money. Plus, you don't have to go to court.

inthelost · July 2014

as everyone said, documentation is KEY. There's no way he should be awarded primary custody....

btj357 · July 2014

Thank you everyone! I do have some documentation and can look back and remember other times i've offered more time and he didn't take up on it.. He had the entire week of the fourth off and i offered more time he said sure and never showed up.

Want a personalized experience?

just got paperwork

Re: just got paperwork

Choose Another Board

Search Boards