I need a 2IF & TTC Vacation!

SassFrass · July 2014

I feel so lost. AF should be drawing near, I had some bright red spotting and I am cramping. I think maybe the CP threw off my "normal"

I don't even know what to do anymore. After ttc for as long as we have, honestly I feel like I have become a slave to trying to make a baby! It is all I think about. Charts. opk's, temping, bloodwork, tests, hpt's... it has taken over my life for the past 3 years. I feel like I am missing out on so much because I am glued to every single little slight sign that I MIGHT be pregnant. I am so frustrated at this point.

I mentioned to DH maybe we should just take a break. But it didn't go over very well. Idk what to do. He doesn't want to stop ttc for a bit, but honestly, I think I need the friggin mental break. It isn't like it will be forever, but I just want to feel sane and normal again, even for just a couple of months... It isn't like we won't have sex, because come on, that is just crazy...

Any advice? Anyone ever take a little break to regain your sanity?!

GraceyandTroy · July 2014

I thought you already decided to take a break? That you cancelled your RE apt and that your H was the one who made that call?

In any rate, maybe you should stop charting. When I needed a break but wasn't really ready to give up all hope, I would just stop charting everything but temps. I would still record them daily because I wanted to know the basic info, but I would not record BD or cm or anything else. Maybe that will help you take your mind off things without stopping trying.

SassFrass · July 2014

Yes, the RE appointment has been cx, for now. But I wasn't in this exact.. "emotion?"

The RE was cx due to DH's feelings towards it right now, and also the fact that my aunt is getting married, she is 30, and this is her first marriage, so it is kind of a big thing, and financially it was one or the other. I don't want to miss something once in a lifetime, ya know... Then the over analyzing began and DH suggested we wait for the RE.

I really don't want to "quit" but I have become super OCD about charting and stuff. I think I will take a month completely off of everything, and then temp afterwards. IDK

pettycrocker · July 2014

Don't most people get married in their 30s now? You said she's 30 as if she's 50 and it's her first marriage LOL she's not over the hill yet.

I agree with G & T, when I needed a mental break I stopped charting everything except OPKs because I had done the temping long enough to trust my OPKs, I would cut out some stuff and enjoy a real "break"

CeCe8579 · July 2014

@SassFrass‌, why did you cancel the RE appointment? I missed that.

iheartsippycups2 · July 2014

I only charted before RE- I feel like it is stressful enough TTC, but being monitored closely throughout my cycle with RE, I don't feel the need to temp/chart, etc. It alleviates some of the stress.

Good luck in what you decide...

GraceyandTroy · July 2014

I'm kind of cracking up at the comments about your aunt's wedding. I do think it should be treated like a once in a lifetime thing because I'm one of those people who thinks marriage should be forever. And I am really glad you'll be able to fully enjoy it and not be distracted by IF stuff. But I am not sure what you're implying with this sentence, "she is 30, and this is her first marriage, so it is kind of a big thing." Do you think 30 is old to get married? Or is she a hag who no one thought would every possibly find some who would commit to loving her for the rest of her life, lol.

CeCe8579 · July 2014

Breaks are good.

Jodee37 · July 2014

no breaks for me. keeping my eye on the motherfucking prize. maybe i'll take a break if IVF fails. MAYBE.

take a month off. maybe two. take as long as you need.

SassFrass · July 2014

I didn't mean it as she was just so so old lol, everyone else in her family (18 siblings) got married VERY young. So the family in general, is making it a big deal.

and as for the "to my own admisison of not ttc for 3 years" recall your facts, I had stated 4, when it was actually 3. we have been actively ttc for 3, not 4 years. which has long since been corrected, so why the need to bring up old shit? We have been past that for awhile now.

CeCe8579 · July 2014

Breaks are really good!

Jodee37 · July 2014

i'm not trying to start anything Sass, honestly, i think it's just hard for some oldies to hear some of the newer gals already getting frustrated with the process. esp when some of these ladies have had to spend years on meds and treatments and such whereas they look at you and you've been having sex for 3 years sure, but as for your IF all you've done is an SA and cancelled your RE appt and already taking a break because you want to be normal again. which is totally your call because it's YOUR life. you do what you need to do. but it might be hard to gain a lot of sympathy for your position at this moment in time.

sailorgal · July 2014

Sounds like you need a rest so just take a break! If your DH was the one who wanted to cancel the RE appt, then how come he doesn't want a TTC vacation? Sounds like you guys could use the time to get on the same page. A few months break may help with this and being on the same page definitely can help with the energy level to continue.

I also had to LOL at the 30 comment. Most of my non-mommy friends aren't married yet and are over 32.

AprilDrew04 · July 2014

Jodee37 said:

i'm not trying to start anything Sass, honestly, i think it's just hard for some oldies to hear some of the newer gals already getting frustrated with the process. esp when some of these ladies have had to spend years on meds and treatments and such whereas they look at you and you've been having sex for 3 years sure, but as for your IF all you've done is an SA and cancelled your RE appt and already taking a break because you want to be normal again. which is totally your call because it's YOUR life. you do what you need to do. but it might be hard to gain a lot of sympathy for your position at this moment in time.

This! You have only been dealing with IF for a fww months and not very aggressively at that. Try to keep in perspective as some of us have been trying hardcore for quite some time. As @Jodee37 said if you feel you need a break, take one, just don't expect a ton of sympathy. We are just not in the same place.