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Creative way to delay return to work? (xp)

vszappvszapp member
in Working Moms
DS is almost 10 weeks, and I originally said I would go back at 12 weeks. I really feel like we need a few more weeks - he still BFs every hour sometimes, plus our nanny would now be watching him and our toddler (no small feat!). I have a fairly senior level position at a biotech company, but I went P/T a few months before my maternity leave. I don't think they'll be crushed if I want to wait, but unfortunately my boss (a sr. director at a large company) returned to work 6 weeks after her second a few years ago (not sure she'll have much sympathy). Any creative ideas on how to play this? I could say that he won't take a bottle yet, but I think she knows that if you force that issue the baby will figure it out.

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Re: Creative way to delay return to work? (xp)

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  • DiveFrogDiveFrog member
    edited July 2014
    Do you have any sick or PTO left? Can you work from home? 

    Like the pp's I would be just be honest about it. Like they said, anything else will come off as excuses, because well they are excuses. 

    I know how you feel I didn't go back after DD until 16 weeks, and definitely didn't feel that she or I was ready until she was around 14-15 weeks old. 

    ETA: I loved working from home when I could after I went back to work. My parents watched her in our home, and I loved being able to still nurse her on demand and not have to pump.
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  • djm31012djm31012 member

    Like PPs, I would ask about working from home for a few weeks.

    If you really want to go the creative route, you can say something about your nanny having an emergency and needs to be out of town for 2 weeks.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Please don't lie (be creative).  It is so transparent. 

    To echo what others have said- be honest and offer alternatives.  Can you work shorter hours for x number of weeks, work from home x number of weeks, etc? 

    Your creativity should be used to think of how to extend your time, not what lie to tell.  
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  • vszappvszapp member
    Sorry, to be clear, not looking to spin a wild tale. But if I just say I'm not ready, she'll unfortunately see it as a lack of dedication to the job (which is true I suppose). I am on the cuff as it is already...

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Gotcha.  

    @Amelia4 has good advice.  
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  • Puppies+Rainbows+UnicornsPuppies+Rainbows+Unicorns member
    What state are you in?  In CA you can take 18 weeks (20 with a c-section).  I would start by asking HR to what the maximum allowable in your state is.  I would then call my manager and say that I have been speaking with HR and would like to extend my leave until XYZ if it was okay with her.  I am 99% sure my manager would be afraid of stepping on HRs toes and would agree, but would be appeased by having been given the option to say no. 
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  • vszappvszapp member
    Puppies+Rainbows+Unicorns said:

    What state are you in?  In CA you can take 18 weeks (20 with a c-section).  I would start by asking HR to what the maximum allowable in your state is.  I would then call my manager and say that I have been speaking with HR and would like to extend my leave until XYZ if it was okay with her.  I am 99% sure my manager would be afraid of stepping on HRs toes and would agree, but would be appeased by having been given the option to say no. 

    I am in CA. My manager is well aware of the laws since she just had kids a few years ago. It isn't a question of whether I'm allowed to take more time, but I can almost guarantee she'll have an issue with it. If she could go back at 6 weeks, why can't I at 12??

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  • emberlee3emberlee3 member
    I don't really see how your boss's ML is relevant.  You are different people with different families, different babies, and different jobs.  Be honest, come up with a proposal, and see what she says. 
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
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  • Puppies+Rainbows+UnicornsPuppies+Rainbows+Unicorns member
    Then do not phrase it as a request.  Simply state you have spoken with HR and will be taking 18 weeks as allowed by company policy in CA.  It might irritate her, but it is not like she can complain to HR when you are taking a state allowed leave. It is impossible to please everyone and it doesn't sound like you have much to risk since you are on the fence about working anyway.
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  • Virgo17Virgo17 member
    What do you mean by "on the cuff"?  Is your job in jeopardy?

    I would just be honest and say you don't feel quite ready to come back full-time.  Although, I think if you went PT before baby and have taken a full 12 weeks, they might not be thrilled about it.  Be ready to present alternatives such as working from home to start back.
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  • BabyHope2013BabyHope2013 member
    Is there a way that you could work two days from home for a few weeks---then one day from home for a few more weeks before returning back to the office full-time? I think that you need to talk to your boss and be honest but present viable solutions as options. 
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  • Puppies+Rainbows+UnicornsPuppies+Rainbows+Unicorns member
    PrivacyWanted said:
    Before you go demanding more time per CA law please verify the law. Unless something has changed since Very recently, there's not 18/20 weeks. There is 16/18. 4 of those must be used prior to your EDD Eta fixed number
    Yes, please talk to HR before your manager!  I am pretty sure it is 18 after birth (20 with a c-section) and an additional 4 can be used prior.  Here a link to a good reference (page 15 really outlines it well).


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